I KNOW WHO KILLED ME

'I KNOW WHO KILLED ME' ...AND HER INITIALS ARE LL

Wow... what an absolute failure of a movie this was. The story went all over the place and landed nowhere within reason. Fresh, sweet, innocent Aubrey (Lindsay Lohan) is kidnapped and tortured seemingly by a serial killer, but she manages to escape and is found and rushed to the hospital. There are obvious physical signs of how she was tortured but the most pronounced is that she seems to have created an alternate personality, Dakota. The doctor's conclude that the this other personality results from the stress she received from the torture. Now Dakota is pretty much the opposite of Aubrey. She smokes and swears and is a hard woman; who has led a very hard life. She also claims to be an exotic dancer; aka stripper, and we see bits and pieces of Lohan sliding down a pole on a darkened stage, but of course always in a tasteful, no nudity type of way, since we know all strippers usually stay fully covered when "performing". So Dakota is sent back to live as Aubrey and as she snoops around some memories come back to her, or maybe it's psychic powers, but from there, the plot hits all sorts of crazy. Are they long lost twins? Does she show signs of stigmata? It gets very confusing and jumbled but by that point who cares. Lohan "texted" this "performance" in and seemed to be sleepwalking/dancing through it. This movie was released around the time of Lohan's DUI arrest so the studio didn't promote it. I think that by the end of making this movie, Lohan was actually driven to drink resulting in the DUI and the studio, knowing how awful the movie was, used her arrest to sweep the film under the carpet.

Rating: The worst film of the year joining the ranks of Showgirls and Catwoman.

Post review note: They have changed the cover from the original (as seen above) to a version sans Lohan. What else says, "Can we salvage it at all? Can we give away puppies and kittens if you rent the DVD?! This movie may have exceeded the worst film title.

NEW RELEASES QUICK GUIDE: WHAT TO SEE

A MIGHTY HEART IS JUST THAT
The movie is based on Mariane Pearl's (Angelina Jolie) heartbreaking story surrounding her husband, reporter Danny Pearl's (Dan Futterman) life and untimely death. While in Pakistan investigating a story, Danny is taken, plucked from the busy streets. It takes a few days for the reality to sink in, but Mariane keeps focused and strong. She is, by the way, also very pregnant. Their friends, cohorts and authorities gather around to form a team to investigate and find Danny. It is a complicated story to follow, as they also must keep track on a white board as to who is linked to who, where and how. After giving a television interview about her husband, she remains calm and composed. It is only when she is home and alone that we see and feel how heartbreaking and traumatic this ordeal was.
Rating: A well done film.



OCEAN'S 13 ENTERTAINING, BUT NOT THE LUCKY NUMBER
The old crew has reunited again, this time to help their pal Reuben (Elliot Gould) and the theme of the job is just desserts. The target is Willie Bank (Al Pacino) the new kids in town who is planning to make a big splash. Opening night is of course the perfect time to teach this very bad man a lesson. Much of the planning we have seen before in Ocean's 11 and 12. George and Brad are handsome as ever and Don Cheadle gets to bring my favorite, Petey Greene from Talk to Me, in for a few wild minutes with Willie. I loved the role Oprah Winfrey plays (as herself) as both George and Brad are pulled to watching her show. These two banter like an old married couple, finishing each other's sentences and it's cute, but just not enough. Funny parting lines between the two commenting on each other's real lives (George gained weight for a role and Brad's family with Angelina).
Rating: Entertaining to watch and some clever scenes and dialogue, but not as sharp.




THE REAPING: NOT YOUR AVERAGE THRILLER
Hillary Swank surprised me by taking the role of Professor Katherine Winter, a skeptical hard-nosed explainer of all that seems biblical. So, she is approached to visit a small town in Louisiana to try to help explain the phenomena that has been happening as of late. If anything, this movie is not your typical slasher film. As the movie (and the unexplainable keeps happening) we find the back story on our heroine and see why and how she became a skeptic. Lots of information on the biblical plagues, also an extra on the DVD, made everything seem realistic. However, once at the end of the picture it gets just a bit too melodramatic for me. Rating: Interesting film, entertaining and just spooky enough to make you squirm.



LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD: YIPPEE KI YAY...
He's BAAACCK!!! What good would a sizzling summer be, in a cool theater with Detective John McClane sticking his nose into something dangerous? And what good would the approaching cold weather be without being able to sit next to a roaring fire, drinking a nice Chardonnay and freeze frame on every drop of sweat he... sorry. He's back, he's dirty, sweaty and one tough MF! So why not save the world one more time. Full of one liner's, some very funny, as well as the same recycled ones, a decent plot line and a fun supporting cast. Loved seeing it on the big screen, even though it wasn't his best (#1), it certainly worth watching!
Rating: Not as good as the first, but so what? Fun to watch and clever.





REIGN OVER ME: MUST SEE
"Chick flicks" abound and the only men we tend to see in friendship-movies are in the mob, a gang, the war or "working a case" together. This is a movie about friendship and the difference it can make in someone's life. It is the most tender and sensitive movie, both in performances and in writing I have seen in a long time. Dynamic performances by Adam Sandler and Don Cheadle. One story post 9/11 that we have never seen before. Rating: A must see. Maybe a little long, but you make up for that in quality.




1408: ENTERTAINING
Typical skeptic/writer/loner researches supposed haunting and then writes about them (IF there are any). Mike Enslin (John Cusak) discovers an intriguing paranormal-invitation to visit a hotel in NY where ghastly events have taken place. Despite the hotel manager's (Samuel Jackson) offers and bribes, he can not convince Enslin to stay away. Based on a short story by Steve King, he is subtly credited throughout the movie. It is well written and goes further into the psyche than most thrillers. (and what does 1408 add up to???)
Rating: Fun to watch and scary enough to follow. I love John Cusak!

BREECH: MUST SEE
Inspired by a true life story of one man, Robert Hanssen (Chris Cooper) who leaked top secret materials to the Soviet Union. Edge-of-your-seat suspense with Eric O'Neill (Ryan Phillippe) as an under-cover agent put in place to assist in gathering of evidence to help build a case against Hanssen. Outstanding performances by all. I really forgot to breathe in some moments, very close calls and very well done movie.
Rating: A must see... wow!







HOT FUZZ: ENTERTAINING
It just ended up in my lap one day and I had nothing better to do... but for all of you who like the "spoof" movies, this was a a good one as the spoof is very dry and sharp witted. I actually laughed out loud (which is rare). Hot shot detective gets sent to a small town. Looks very boring and hum drum until the crazy meter goes way up. They spoof many things while also carrying a movie that makes sense. Some english humor, some slapstick, but funny facination with movie detectives. Before you rent it, be sure to watch Bad Boyz and Point Break. This is one very funny movie. Rating: Very quirky humor and well done.






LA VIE EN ROSE: MUST SEE
This may seem like the typical starlet who lives an impovershed life and then achieves fame and dies young. It's not. In fact, some of Edith Piaf's performances were given when she was much older than when she was first discovered. She had a hard life, no doubt, but when she sang, everything melted away and she was the song, not the singer. Actress Marion Cotillard became Piaf and when she felt pain, we did too. It is hard and painful, and beautiful and amazing all in one. And for once, the starlet aged and kept signing all the way to her death.
Rating: Although very sad at times, this is an amazing film. Tres' bien!

NEW RELEASES QUICK GUIDE: WHAT NOT TO SEE

BUG: SEE AT YOUR OWN PSYCHOLOGICAL RISK
I can't be much help to you here... at first, it looks like a typical small town with Ashley Judd playing a typical small town girl who has seen way too much for her short life. We meet new characters, including her ex-husband (Harry Connick playing a great bad guy!) Enter Peter Evans who seems like the shy quiet type; a good man. From there, it's anybody's guess. What is ture and what isn't? Is it drug related paranoia or mental illness? There may have been a great story here, but the plot does not flush out enough facts to help the view who sits, head in hands saying "huh?" Not a big loss if you don't see it.


VACANCY: IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE
Thrillers are great to watch; lower body count, if not less blood and guts. I was hoping this would be one. I mean, with two known and gifted actors, Kate Beckinsale and Luke Wilson, I don't know what went wrong. Yes, there were scary parts when I felt my heart beating a bit faster, but the rest was so ludicrous that it made it funny. The set up was great and believable. My favorite was Frank Whaley as Mason, the desk clerk. After a while, the chasing became laughable and I fast forwarded through a lot. In the end, it again, lost all it's spookiness and after that, it lost me. Save your time, read a Steven King book.


PREMONITION: I WISH I SAW THIS ONE COMING
The idea started out with good intentions. Sandra Bullock is Linda Quinn Hanson, wife of Jim (Julian McMahon) and some children. Her world is turned upside down once she is told her husband died in a car accident. Little by little her world is divided in two, one of grief and sorrow and the other of fantasy. In her fantasy world her husband is alive and she is thrilled. Unfortunately this comes off a bit like Groundhog's Day where each day repeats itself until... until you don't care anymore. Bullock did a great job with that she had, but heartbreakingly McMahon slept-walked through his role. However, not being married, maybe that's how it really is. I had hoped for more, being a fan of Nip/Tuck, his FX show, but he was not appealing at all, as was this movie. It was something to do, but too tiring to go back and forth between the two worlds. I think I'll take a nap. Maybe when I wake, McMahon will be in my fantasy world!


KICKIN' IT OLD SKOOL FLUNKS

Let me say this; Jamie Kennedy is a/was a talented actor. I liked Malibu's Most Wanted. Yes, it was goofy, but sometimes we need those things so I thought maybe it would be just that. A story about a young boy who gets in an accident while breakdancing and stays in a coma for 20-odd years. So, of course once we wakes up he has to adjust to the new world around him. Right there; that's a story, but alas it goes on and it isn't pretty. D-

TALK TO ME

Talk to Me had me listening It is Ralph Waldo "Petey" Greene's world and we're just living in it. Based on a true story, the time is 1966 and recently (and creatively) released from prison, Petey Greene (brilliantly channeled by Don Cheadle) shows up at a local radio station WOL to make good on a off-hand comment made to Dewey Hughes (Chiwetel Ejiofor) whose brother Milo (a small but strong role played by Mike Epps) is incarcerated in the same prison as Petey. The exchange between the "miscreant" and the "white boy with a tan" sets the pace for the movie. Each one has strength that completes the other and together they take over the airwaves. Petey has been called the first "shock jock" in Washington DC, or rather "P-Town". With the strong and beautiful Vernell (played to perfection by Taraji Henson) get the movie started with a bang and it is engaging and funny. Petey gives a voice to the "negros" who are loyal listeners and fuel Petey's spark. In contrast, Dewey has worked hard to fit in with the "white folk". He sounds like Thurston Howell the III and Petey picks at him calling him "Mr. Tibbs", but once digging deep, we find that they are indeed similar in many aspects. However, as life does, the movie takes a turn once it is announced that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. has been killed. Washington DC becomes a nightmarish city on fire and Petey tries his best to calm a community in crisis. After that darkest of nights, Petey and Dewey go on to further their careers in the entertainment field until Petey seems to collapse under the weight of the price of success. Both men rely on each other until one cannot bear the weight and the other cannot bear being carried. The trials and tribulations pass, yet the bond, the love and the mutual respect for the other stays strong. When Petey died at the age of 53, 10,000 mourners came to pay their respects. I think this film is a heartfelt memorial for a man with a lot of heart. This film is outstanding in every way.

Don Cheadle is one of the most gifted yet under-rated movie actors of our time. "I'll tell it to the hot, I'll tell it to the cold. I'll tell it to the young, I'll tell it to the old. I don't want no laughin', I don't want no cryin', and most of all, no signifyin'. This is Petey Greene's Washington."

Rating: You will laugh and you will cry, see this movie and you'll know why. Don't miss this one!

PARIS JE T'AIME

Paris Je T'aime... and I loved this film too! "Little neighborhood romances"... This is a film about love and like love, and this film, it is simple and complex all at the same time. Actually this isn't quite one film, but 18 short films and the two ties that bind each is love and Paris. All 18 are different and unique as they are directed by 18 different and unique directors. From Wes Craven to the Coen brothers, these segments tell the tale of many kinds of love: tragic, funny, kinky, sweet, heart wrenching, pitiful, passionate, and bizarre. Just as there are these many types of love, they are portrayed by many types of characters. This is no average film about love, mind you. These stories are short, but they are filled with characters that you know well enough that compassion comes quickly. You may find a part of yourself in each character as they go through their own trials and tribulations. These are not mere characters, but diverse individuals who become familiar within seconds of screen time. As the directors are top-notch, the acting is unbelievable. I use that word, because rather than watching a movie, I felt like I was looking in on these people's lives; a voyeur of sorts. As there are too many directors of note to list, there are just as many actors to list, a few better known are: Steve Buscemi, Natlie Portman, Juliette Binoche, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Gena Rowlands, Bob Hoskins. However, the biggest love story from this film is the love of Paris. The scenery is mesmerizing. This film transported me back to the City; the outdoor cafes, the Metro, even Pere Lachaise, the cemetery where Jim Morrison is buried (among others of course). If you have never been, you will catch a glimpse of the energy the city itself holds. Just as I loved Paris, I loved this movie.
Rating: A stellar collaboration creating an excellent film. Tres bien! (Partly subtitled)

YEAR OF THE DOG

Year of the dog barks up the right tree. Meet Peggy Spade (Molly Shannon) who has a sweet and simple existence which includes her beloved dog Pencil. He is her best friend and she gets along better with her dog than with men in relationships because dogs don't disappoint you. She has a good job. She has a good friend, Layla (Regina King) who obsesses about her boyfriend and seems to have had too much caffeine. Everything is just enough. She tries to connect with her brother who seems to have everything, including his uber-parental, condescending wife, Bret (Laura Dern dazzles) children, and nice home in the suburbs. Then all hell breaks loose. without giving away the movie, little by little Peggy starts to lose her mind, among other things. Peggy has an altercation of sorts with her neighbor Al (John C. Reilly). We soon meet Newt (Peter Sarsgaard) who is a typical animal-activist/new age hippie. Both roles are reversals for each actor. Reilly is known best for portraying kind, meek men. Sarsgaard makes a great bad guy/villain. Both actors are well cast in their roles. In this movie, Al is a hunter and not terribly sensitive, while Newt is an overly sensitive animal loving vegan who opens up a whole new world to Peggy. Then the crazy gets turned up a notch. Molly Shannon carries the film with gentle grace and spot-on comedic timing. It's a smart and clever film that has a very dry borderline dark sense of comedy. In the midst of her story, the very serious issue of pet overpopulation is addressed in a realistic way that is not often seen in film. At the core, YEAR OF THE DOG is a love story and a woman's path to find love.

Rating: A very sweet, surprisingly funny comedy, but bring a tissue.

LUCKY YOU

Lucky you was unlucky for me. Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets girl back. Now, add some pretty pictures of Las Vegas and lots of poker shots and lingo and then you get LUCKY YOU. To complete this utter waste of time, add a poker faced (had to do it) Eric Bana (Huck), as a hot-shot, cocky, poker/semi-con man, a lack-luster Drew Barrymore (Billie) who should be told not to sing anymore, and a wasted cast of thousands; okay, maybe not thousands but enough to make a few minutes of this movie palatable. Robert Duvall, also not his finest work, as Huck's father, the veteran poker king who is the target that Huck is aiming at when he plays. Unless you really, really like poker, don't see this movie. The first attempt at a plot is to bring an estranged father and son back together (through the highly therapeutic game of poker). The second attempt at a plot is the romance/con between Huck and Billie. After watching Eric Bana try to portray this slick character, I couldn't tell if he had to repress his emotion because he plays poker and so he always hides his "tells" or if it was simply bad acting. I'll bet you know which it was. His lack of a pulse, or the plot, or the burdensome, unnecessarily extended poker playing sequences did nothing to promote a romantic storyline between Huck and Billie. The writing was halfway decent until you hear one too many bumper sticker lines: "The key is watching and understanding", "Some people don't want to be fixed", Hustle- 10, commitment -0"... enough already. There is a handful of outstanding actors who were given mere seconds of screen time when they could have made this movie more interesting. Robert Downey Jr. is a 1-900 con artist and we see him for, maybe 4 minutes. Jean Smart is the token woman poker player, who is beautiful and self assured on screen and at the poker table. There were great long shots and shots of the back of her head. Horatio Sanz, a cast member on Saturday Night Live, plays a hilarious compulsive gambler, Ready Eddie, who bets a guy if he can live in the bathroom of one of the casinos for a month and sends Huck on an amusing sequence on another bet. Debra Messing plays Billie's sister and has maybe 6 minutes of screen time. A total waste of talent and terrible miscasting in the leading roles. I have a HUGE crush on Robert Downey Jr., and to toss him away so carelessly hurt more than losing your savings on a drunken Vegas road-trip. This film was directed by Curtis Hanson who brought us 8 Mile, In Her Shoes and LA Confidential among other wonderful films. Maybe he bet he could make this film work. He lost.

Rating: Unless you REALLY like poker and long movies, skip this one.

EL CANTANTE

El Cantante was just not spicy enough. You think salsa, you think spicy... but not this time. I have seen this movie before but the characters had different names: Sid and Nancy, Jim and Pam, June and Johnny, Kurt and Courtney... Hector Lavoe (Marc Anthony) was a man who expressed his pain through his music. He was a troubled, and eventually self-destructive man who managed to shine on stage, sober or high. Marc Anthony, despite being far too skinny for the role, stepped into Hector's shoes and danced effortlessly. When we see him fall, there is no malice and it is easy to sympathize with him, despite his choices. Then there is Jennifer Lopez who plays Hector's "soul mate" Puchi. She looked pretty and... ??? I could have easily seen Rosie Perez in that role doing a much more convincing job. Lopez tried to become Puchi and fails miserably. She has no fire in her eyes when she is angry, hurt, viperous. To hear her swear would be like hearing Jackie Kennedy swear. She says the words, but there is no passion, no feeling, no nothing. She might be "Jenny from the block" but that block feels like Park Avenue. Aside from Marc Anthony's performance, the only thing with true spirit in this film is its music. This was the birth of salsa and it sounded raw and fiery and full of life.

Rating: Entertaining to watch and learn about Hector Lavoe, but not a must see.

10 ITEMS OR LESS

10 Items or Less gives you more. Time for a break and this was just the film to deliver it. Morgan Freeman is an actor who hasn't "committed" to a role in four years. The one under consideration (indie flick- "under the radar")has him playing a grocery store manager. So, in true actor tradition, he goes out to the field to observe what being a store manager means. On his journey, he meets a feisty grocery clerk, Scarlet (Paz Vega from Spanglish) who faithfully believes in 'ten items or less or nothing' rule. She hesitantly offers to help him after he is stranded at the grocery store. Like Alice in Wonderland, they go off through the rabbit hole and Freeman discovers a world he never before encountered; the real world. He finds Target mesmerizing and the car wash great fun. The awe and wonder he experiences is much like Kevin Spacey's "alien" character in K-PAX. "All the world's indeed a stage and we are merely players." This film could not be sweeter if it tried. It isn't a long film, but a short day-trip in movie-land. It is light and quietly funny. Freeman looks like he is actually having a good time. Vega is so believable that you forget she is playing a part. They have a connection that compliments each other without being lustful or naive.

Review: A funny film that portrays our ideas (and maybe they are true) on how actors are.

MR. BROOKS

But Mr. Brooks was always such a quiet neighbor... This phrase is usually uttered by the neighbors of serial killers after they've been caught. But in this movie, MR. BROOKS, isn't a serial killer, he simply has an addiction to killing. He has a family; wife played by a super hot looking Marg Helenberger, and a daughter in college. Kevin Costner portrays Mr. Brooks as person first and a serial killer second. We don't hate Mr. Brooks for what he does. He has an addiction and Costner portrays that so we see Mr. Brooks is a pretty good guy with a bit of an addiction problem. What they don't see is Mr. Brook's invisible friend, his id, Marshall, played by William Hurt. Hurt is brilliant in a role that could have been overplayed. Marshall stokes the fire for Mr. Brooks addiction. As he chants the serenity prayer like his own personal mantra, somehow Marshall pushes so hard that he convinces Mr. Brooks to kill, 'just one last time'. Thing is, like all addicts, that one last time isn't. In this case it is a necessity because he gets caught by a witness with a camera. So in comes "Mr. Smith" played to serious perfection by Dane Cook, who is best known for his comedic abilities. Here's the twist, Mr. Smith enjoyed witnessing the murders so much that now he wants to be at Mr. Brook's next killing. So although he doesn't want to, he indulges Mr. Smith. Mr. Brooks must watch a lot of Law and Order. He is fastidious in his methods, borderline obsessive compulsive. He is well skilled in how not to get caught. As these murders are taking place, they are being investigated by Detective Atwood (Demi Moore). Not only was the part not cast well, the detective work was totally unbelievable. It wasn't because Mr. Brooks was so smart. Detective Atwood is going through a divorce which has made her angry and spiteful; supposedly. I just didn't buy into her act one bit. She looked like she was acting; either that or sleepwalking. However, this film was written well and it makes Mr. Brooks a suspense filled thriller. The end took such a twist I didn't know which end was up.

Rating: A must see, well put together edge of your seat movie. Very well done!

EVENING

Indeed, it was a wonderful life...and death.

Every film, in some way, is about life or death. As a society, I think we pay closer attention to the young and turn a blind eye to our elderly and their deaths. EVENING provides us with a realistic portrayal of a woman, Ann Lord, on the brink of death (Vanessa Redgrave), whose memories as a young girl (Claire Danes) fade in and out as she also interacts with her own grown daughters. It is a strong film about and including mothers and daughters. Natasha Richardson (Vanessa's real-life daughter) is Constance, the daughter who has the seemingly ideal life with a husband, children and a dog named spot. Toni Colette plays Nina, the free spirit/black sheep. The memories Ann has as a young woman center around her best friend's wedding. We see two very different paths; one that was expected of a woman in '50s (marriage, teacher or secretary) versus young Ann, an aspiring singer and free spirit. Meryl Streep is the older Lila and her real-life daughter is the younger Lila, Mamie Gummer. This film touched my heart. It reminded me that life is as beautiful as it is painful and nobody has it all figured out thus far. The casting was as perfect as the acting (hail to Glenn Close for one very sensitive scene). I am fond of Claire Danes' work and it is refreshing to see her make the move into a more mature role. Her facial expressions show so much without being obvious. It was a beautiful film and I wish it had done better at the theater. Ann says, "There's no such thing as a mistake. You get nervous, but you sing anyways."

Rating: Excellent film and you might find an appreciation for your mother you never considered.

THE INVISIBLE

The invisible really should have stayed that way. I really wanted to like this picture... a combination of Ghost, The Sixth Sense and your average rebelious-teen flick. Marcia Gay Harden's talents were wasted in this film. Justin Chatwin (Nick) wasn't terrible, but he wasn't that great either. I think this movie was left for dead and should have stayed that way.

Rating: Ok to watch if you have nothing else to do.

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