THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL- Quick Bite

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL: GREEN REMAKE

The last thing the world needs is another baby Will Smith (Jaden Smith). The second last thing we need is a remake of an already awesome movie. I will admit that Keanu Reeves makes a totally believable alien. If anyone, that was his role. With all possible effects, this film fell short of anything but bland. It was very dark followed by a thunderstorm of preaching on how we are all killing the earth. Yawn. Stop using plastic bottles and please stop casting Jaden Smith in anything else. Will Smith is money. Can't he let his child just be another kid?
BITE ME: Not enough that could have been better. Remakes and books-to-movies seldom works.

AUSTRALIA

AUSTRALIA: THE GEM FROM DOWN UNDER
Admittedly, this film will only connect with a certain audience. If you've seen Baz Luhman's work before (Romeo and Juliet, Strictly Ballroom, Moulin Rouge) you almost feel his directorial plan. The start of this film, as does Australia, comes off as cartoonish and over-acted. Baz draws the outlines for these characters and then finishes the movie coloring them in. But before you know it, everyone has calmed down and the film works its way into a dramatic rhythm. In northern Australia at the beginning of World War II, we meet an unlikely pair. The princess and the cowboy. Should you make it past Nicole Kidman's (Sarah Ashley) over acting, way over the top as a well bread English lady, what you get in return is a character who grows and learns and in the end, triumphs. Hugh Jackman (Drover) plays a typical tough guy cowboy who has little time for prissy women like Sarah. He is a man's man and wow... watch out for the shower scene! Finally, and by no means least of all, we meet the thread that brings everything and everyone together. A little Aboriginal boy called Nulla (Brandon Walters). Between the war, romance, and character development, this film is indeed epic. This is Baz's love song for the country he holds dear, as does Kidman and Jackman. It's melodic, emotional and worth every minute.
BIG BITE: No other word can describe this but epic. Epic films are meant to be watched!

SEVEN POUNDS

SEVEN POUNDS: THE HYPE BETTER THAN THE ACTUAL FILM

This is Will Smith's world and we're just living in it. When this film was in theaters I heard so many people talking about it without really saying anything. The movie trailers didn't really show anything either. So, I finally sat down and watched. All I saw was Will Smith. Ben Thomas (Smith) did something very, very, very bad. So now, he is finding people. How he got their names and information is a HUGE stretch of reality. SPOILER ALERT! So, after finding all seven people, we discover that he caused a car crash that killed his fiancee and the occupants of the other vehicle. DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE! Now we see what Will Smith is doing and his last action is to "swim with a jellyfish" which stings and kills him. His executor makes sure the organs are donated accordingly. In concept, it is an interesting premise. However, I missed out on the emotional connection everyone else has seemed to make. It just didn't speak to me.
BITE ME: Interesting plot that feels empty inside. I didn't need a Kleenex.

MIRRORS

MIRRORS NEED A GOOD CLEANING

Ex policeman Ben Carson (Kieffer Sutherland) takes a job working at a former department store which was burned so many years previous. He is a recovering alcoholic who lives with his sister until he can make amends to his family. Earnestly trying to begin again, Ben takes the job and not long after, scary things start to happen. After a while, Ben questions his own sanity before remembering his police academy training and launching an investigation on his own. This begins as a good thriller/horror story, and even continues to be until the end where things go terribly wrong. Anyone have an idea of what the department store used to be? The number one greatest place to tell a ghost story. This wasn't a terrible film (a remake of "Espelhos da Morte", Mirrors of Death), but that doesn't make it good.

BITE: Even if not very good, it still makes for ghastly and thrilling fare before the cornball ending.

FROZEN RIVER

FROZEN RIVER NOT TOO COLD

What an amazing and fresh film. There are not many movies like this that really show an American reality of living from paycheck to paycheck, in an uneducated, low income family. Ray Eddy (Melissa Leo) is the single mother of two boys; one that can see the reality and one that is too young to have been corrupted by life. She was nominated and should have won that Oscar. Ray is real, raw and rough around the edges. She gets mixed up in a "get rich quick" scheme, all in the name of buying a new trailer home for her family. Misty Upham plays Lila Littlewolf, Ray's co-conspirator. Neither of them look like they are acting. Upham says so much by saying so little. Fantastic, even so bleak, of a film.

BITE: Stunning performances and an interesting plot. What more could you ask for?

THE DISASTER MOVIE

THE DISASTER MOVIE WAS JUST THAT, A DISASTER


I enjoy spoof movies. Scary movie is one of the better ones. Actors who can really resemble the celebrity their spoofing... scenes that look like the original movie it is spoofing... too bad this movie had none of those elements.

BITE ME: Waste of time, energy and money. Don't.

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE: Quick Bite

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE THE UNDERDOG...

Best Picture, Director and Screenplay at the Golden Globes,

BAFTAs and the Oscars

This was the little film that could... and after all the awards were handed out, we're left with the DVD. This film follows the lives of two brothers growing up amidst extreme poverty in Mumbai. Starting with a (literally) shitty life, we are introduced to the brothers who have very different personalities and ways to cope with their surroundings. Jamal, the little boy that would, lands in the right spot at the right time and through flashbacks we witness his growth, his brother's way to cope and the emancipation of the 'third Musketeer'. The general idea that I could use to summarize would be that things happen for a reason, good or bad, and by believing that things can be better and having an optimistic view of the world, no matter how lousy, brings hope of huge proportion. Sure, there are all sorts of holes in the premise, the basic tenant of hope in combination with the underdog/indie feel vaulted this film to be epic. Good work by Danny Boyle.

BITE: Not a perfect picture, but hope and faith bring it home for a great hit.

MARLEY AND ME: Quick Bite

MARLEY AND ME... HAVE TISSUES READY

This movie broke too many of my film reviewer rules: 1) Never see a movie with a dog in it. Never. Especially if it is about said dog. 2) See all Owen Wilson films no matter the reviews. 3) Avoid Jennifer Aniston films. 4) NEVER see a movie about a dog.

Based on real life, we follow the story of Josh and Jennifer Grogan, (Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston) writers for different Florida newspapers. True to form, their lives flow with a certain pace, marriage, house, family, careers; which includes an adorable puppy named Marley. I envisioned more of a light movie, but along with the obvious comedy came the drama and it surprisingly was done equally as well. Slowly we get sucked into their lives that we don't realize how much we actually care about them toward the end of the film. The end of the film is strong and based on real life, not the Disney typical happy endings. I fully recommend this film for both dog lovers and haters.

BITE: A sweet and believable story about the twists and turns in real life.

ZACH AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO: QUICKIE

ZACH AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO
Zach (Seth Rogan) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks) are friends and roommates and have been since high school. While attending their first high school reunion, they realize that neither is living life like they wanted to. They are drowning in bills and one by one, their utilities get turned off for non payment and they must decide how to handle their impending financial ruin. Who wouldn't think sex tape? Miri unwittingly star of her own mini-episode, "Granny Panties" agrees and the two bring everything and everyone together. After a few obstacles, they finally work on the video. It's around that time that each sees the other in a different light. Without sounding prudish, as I can swear with the best of them, this movie had way too much arbitrary swearing. Seriously. There is a time and a place for colorful language and I'm all for it, but it just made this movie start on very shaky ground. It was like a frat party with cursing and farting and beer drinking. Luckily, after the vulgar start, a rhythm began and the characters became real. The swearing was toned down. I cared about the characters.
1/2 Bite: Predictable, but sweet in its moments. Funny parts, but not a 'laugh a minute' flick.

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN: Quick Bite

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN OR FEEL THEIR WRATH

Who knew there were adolescent vampires? Before Twilight...I guess the Swedish do. Dubbed in English, this is one of the most scary yet touching films I have seen to date. Oskar is a freakishly pale boy who is picked on by bullies at school. He is very self aware, but longs for companionship. A mysterious man and his daughter moves into the same apartment complex as Oskar, yet he doesn't meet her right away. While he is outside practising his self defence moves one night, she, Eli, shows up out of nowhere. They become friends. It is also around this time that a string of murders start to impact the community. We then see the man who is killing and soon understand why. This movie centers around the tender friendship between the two and the impact Eli has on Oskar. For a horror film, it is unusual, the most I've seen.
Bite: High honors for the Quiet Vampire. Much props for stepping outside the box.