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TOP THREE NON-TRADITIONAL CHRISTMAS MOVIES FOR THE HOLIDAYS


#3: LESS THAN ZERO
A true '80s film that gives us a taste of what growing up white, over privileged and under supervised does to a person. Clay (Andrew McCarthy) returns from school back East for Christmas break after leaving his two best friends behind. Most of the movie is spent with him running after his ex/not ex girlfriend Blair (Jami Gertz) and his ex/not ex best friend Julian (Robert Downey Jr.) trying to help him out of a mighty mess with drug dealer Rip (James Spader). Stellar performances from all involved, especially (two of) my true loves, McCarthy and Downey. One of the few anti-drug movies that shows the ugly side of the pretty people's world.

Anecdotal note: On vacation in Vegas, my best friend and I are walking through a casino when a short man passes by me looking just like Andrew McCarthy. I tell her and she begins the chase, I follow at a much slower pace. She gets close enough to yell his name and he turns, which eggs her on more and sets him on a moderate jog back to hotel. She, not to be beaten easily, has the nerve to use the hotel lobby phone and asks the operator for his room and then thrusts the phone at me. Not knowing what to say, I ask if it's him, which of course it is, and I tell him we were the crazy girls running after him and beg for him to come to the lobby for a photo. Ever so kindly, he does not accept my offer as he has an "early call" on the set for whatever he was filming, but thanked me for calling. I was on cloud 9 for days. (sigh!) Good times.

#2: DIE HARD
New York cop, John McClain ( Bruce Willis) as he recalls the invitation "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs...” has come to Los Angeles to visit/reconcile with his wife (Bonnie Bedelia) and children. Unfortunately there are several determined German terrorists led by a cultured bad guy Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman is brilliant) who try to get in his way. Being the tough as nails cop that he is (aren't all of NY finest like that?) he fights back and practically saves the day single-handedly. With one liners that were repeated far too many times for years after, this action packed, thrilling film has earned many kudos for being one of the best action flicks ever AND it just so happens during... Christmas! Bruce Willis owned this movie and the air around it. Yipee Ki Yay!

However, the #1 non-traditional Christmas movie will always be...

#1-THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT
Samantha Caine (Geena Davis) is a typical almost boring woman except for the fact that she lost her memory. However, that does not stop her from being a mother to her 8 year old daughter and having some sort of a relationship with some guy. One day, out of the blue, a stranger appears at her door seeking revenge and somehow, out of instinct, she manages to save her family and kick his ass before passing out from a blow to the head. It is after that trauma that she and the last private detective she can afford, Mitch Henessey, Skillfully played by Samuel Jackson, ("...everyone knows, when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of "u" and "umption") head out to find some answers; and answers she does find. It turns out that Samantha is really Charly Baltimore, mysterious and lethal government agent who was thought dead; and that's where the fun begins. This is a great action film, but it is also a very funny, very clever film. The humor is dry and sometimes bawdy, but plain old fun. This time, however, the hero is a woman who can and will kick your ass. Geena does a great job of "switching" personalities without it being overly dramatic as Mitch notes, "What I'm saying is, back when we first met, you were all like "Oh phooey, I burned the darn muffins." Now, you go into a bar, ten minutes later, sailors come runnin' out. What up with that?" Samuel's one liners and earnest and funny; well... "in New York (he's) Frank, and in Chicago he's Earnest." The banter between them is as odd of a coupling as it is fun. Charly asks, "Were you always this stupid, or did you take lessons? To which Mitch retorts, "I took lessons". Timothy (Craig Bierko) is a very, very bad man as is my usually beloved David Morse as Luke. Yes, it is filled with language, violence and more violence, but those words and actions are chosen wisely and have purpose. Does this story have a happy Christmas ending??? Show times at my house through Christmas will be: 10:45 am, 12:40 pm, 3:20 pm (matinee prices) 7:05 pm, 9:33 pm and 11:12 pm.Watch the trailer at: http://imdb.com/title/tt0116908/trailers-screenplay-E11906-310

WRECKED: WHERE ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU?

I'm Adrien Brody damn it!!! Maybe somebody ought to have remembered that before making this film... perhaps, Adrien Brody?! This man wakes up. He is in a car. There is a dead body in the back seat, another tossed from the wreck and no civilization to be seen. What do you do? Call your agent! This is a slow movie, spent mostly watching Brody cope with the situation at hand of which he can't remember anything about. It is a long drawn out process which spans the entire length of the movie, until at the very end, we finally get the payoff. Let's just say, this time, I liked the dog. It reminded me a lot of 127 Hours, except it is more visceral and psychologically complicated. Again, not what I'd call a great movie, but it kept my interest and I cared about the ending.

MEET MONICA VELOUR: SATC, MEET NAPOLEON
Local boy makes it big! Tobe (Dustin Ingram) is a young man from Auburn, whose passion in life is porn; well, more specifically, a once popular porn star, Monica Velour. He is an avid fan, collecting bits and pieces from her life that no one else would know even existed. With star shaped pasties in his big naive eyes, he sets off to meet her once he hears she is making a public appearance. Yes, another coming of age film for a character that reminded me too much like Napoleon Dynamite. Of course, being a sophisticated screen audience, we can guess that he finds her hard worn by life. Kim Cattrall does her best poor version of Samantha with a drinking problem to portray a woman who has seen it all and lost hope somewhere between the first and last truck stop. The two of them make for an odd couple indeed. He wants to save her and she doesn't want to be saved. I wasn't crazy about this film, but it was certainly entertaining and there were a few laughs. There were several problems I had with some of the situations they found themselves in and the moral ambiguities, which normally doesn't effect me at all, but it was watchable. 

SCREAM 4: HORROR-BLE!

Most people don't (didn't)  know that horror movies are my guilty pleasure. I guess that secret is out now. I like thrillers and suspense more than blood and guts. Most times I can only watch them during the day, however. I liked the way the Scream series brought comedy into the genre. However, this time, we are laughing AT you, not with you. I was happy to hear that the original cast members would be involved with the film so many years after the last installment. Additionally, having Wes Craven on board seemed to be a get-out-of-jail-free card. The beginning was hopeful as their brand of humor poked fun at false starts to bad slasher films. Loved seeing Anna Paquin and Kristen Bell! But the energy drops there. Thing is, it ended up being highly predictable and disappointing. Cox, Campbell and Arquette seemed to sleep walk through their lines, not that the newbies proved any better. Things just didn't add up or make sense and the ending seemed almost an afterthought. The writing just wasn't above par for what we've come to expect from these and the pay off was a let down. Let's hope that in the future, trilogy's stay that way. Not worth seeing.

 PAUL: THE ALIEN IS THE LEAST YOU WILL BELIEVE...

Graeme Willy: Whats the matter Clive?

Clive Gollings: There is an alien in the kitchen making bagels and coffee.

Graeme Willy: Did you want tea?

Clive Gollings: No, I don't want tea!

Graeme Willy: Right, because tea is weird in America.

 

...which is to say, I didn't expect to have the following reaction to this movie about two British Comic-Con nerds and an alien; I absolutely loved it. Graeme (Simon Pegg) and Clive (Nick Frost) are two uber-nerds who are in America for Comic-Con and a road trip across the center of America's alien highway, including area 51. While on their quest, they pick up a foul mouthed, sarcastic and surprisingly funny alien named Paul (voiced by Seth Rogen). He is escaping being dissected by the military base where he has lived the last 60 years of his life. As in all good escape movies, there are the "men in black"; Jason Bateman, the most serious and threatening aside from the "big guy" a surprising casting coo (which I'll leave for you to find out!) The threesome become friends as they get to know each other. Be prepared for the obligatory anal probing jokes. They also add Fundamentalist Christian, Annie (Kirsten Wiig who stars in everything nowadays) who when given universal insight sets off to explore the world previously forbidden to her, more specifically the art of cursing. It sounds way out there and plausibly stupid, but I laughed out loud; many times. It had all sorts of clever jokes and inside winks to the sci-fi community. A fantastic cast, some totally unexpected. Pegg and Frost were fantastically brilliant and their chemistry was out of sight making this more than just a bromance. It also had its tender and sweet side which made the ending all that more enjoyable. I haven't laughed like this in a while. Be prepared for strong language, strong views on evolution and side splitting fun. You might say Paul was out of this world. (Of course, I would never...) Please to enjoy! (Also: be sure to watch through the end credits for additional scenes!)

BRIDESMAIDS: THE YEAR'S FUNNIEST FILM

Annie: You read my diary?

Brynn: At first I did not know it was your diary, I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

This movie by far has proved that women can be funny, in a brash, in-your-face, out-loud, and over-the-top kind of way. In this film, we see women, some of them are actually very pretty, and they can act just as immature and petty and crass as men have acted in The Hangover, all of Judd Apatow's films and any other doofy "bromance". I think this is the first film where women can be pretty and funny and human. Mind you, this is no Kate Hudson-girl-planning-her-dream-wedding rom-com poof, stuck between two grooms.

Annie (a fabulous Kirsten Wiig) is the maid of honor to best friend Lillian (Maya Rudolph) who gets engaged at the start of the film. While Annie tries to do her bridal duties, her life is falling down around her bit by bit, but she keeps the mess hidden. Loved Jon Hamm as her self centered "boyfriend". Equally loved Officer Rhodes (Chris O'Dowd) as the actual nice guy who we like! This is a real movie about real women who are friends and screw up and make mistakes and can be redeemed by the end of the film. Megan (Melissa McCarthy) is a feminine Zach Galifinakis and delivers some memorable lines. Check out the line-o-rama on the bonus features. Please be advised that this is NOT a women only film. This is a VERY FUNNY FILM and stands alone in its own right. A total must see!

HESHER: ONE NAME SAYS IT ALL

Some people only need one name: Cher, Maddonna, Sting. We're never really sure if it's his first or last name, but that's the least of concern in this highly original and quirky film. Hesher (gracefully played with robust by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) may be the exact opposite of Napoleon Dynamite. He is dirty, foul mouthed, preoccupied with pussies, smokes, drinks and likes to mess with people. Then he meets this kid, TJ (Devin Brochu). TJ just lost his mom in a car accident. His dad (Rainn Wilson) lies heavily medicated in his pajamas on the sofa all day, drifting in and out of consciousness. They have moved in with TJ's grandma for the time being and let's just say that the kid is having a hard time. Mind you, this is no Lifetime movie of the week. Hesher accidentally gets run out of his makeshift home by TJ so he decides to move in with him, threatening death and disembowelment if he makes any fuss. Hesher does not joke around. Oddly enough, the family accepts him and soon after, he accepts them too. It's one of the most interesting group of characters I've seen in a real life situation. Hesher keeps them all guessing, but toward the end of the movie we see him shift, if only slightly. In fact everyone shifts and despite all the violence and anger and grief, everything turns out the way it should. It's appropriate. I must admit going for a walk with grandma was quite touching. Gordon-Levitt really outshines himself and pushes outside the box. It kept my attention and was different. I like it a lot.

SYMPATHY FOR DELICIOUS: OFF-BEAT IS TASTY

Mark Ruffalo makes his directorial debut with an old friend, Christopher Thornton, better known here as DJ (Dean) Delicious. The story is unconventional and pushes the limits of believability. However it is that sense of magic and the powerful supporting cast that push the story along. Ruffalo also plays a priest working on skid row and notices the effect one of his flock has had on another. Soon this young man learns about faith healing and his ability to do it. The catch: he is is a wheelchair and can not heal himself. A reluctant hero, Dean is pushed to his limits before he decides to sell his gift to the highest bidder, which also puts him in an up and coming band, something he loved before his crippling accident. He is no saint and follows the reckless life of women, booze and drugs before a terrible tragedy takes him away from all of that. So what does he do now? Where does he belong and can he be saved from himself? Also starring Orlando Bloom as a cocky lead singer of the band, a ethereal Juliette Lewis and a power hungry, tough Laura Linney. It wasn't until I watched the extras that I learned that Thornton not only stars in the film and star being the key word, but he wrote the screenplay and also happens to be in a wheelchair in real life. I can't wait to see what he does next. Ruffalo however, should stick with acting. Again, one of those odd stories with compelling characters well acted by top talent. Not everyone will like it, but I did.

EVERYTHING MUST GO: INCLUDING THIS FILM

Congratulations to Will Ferrell for carrying through on a serious role. Mark that one off the bucket list! Problem is, the result was a sad, depressing dud of a movie. Nicky Halsey is kind of a jerk. It becomes apparent once we discover he is an alcoholic which is why he lost his job, after numerous attempts to stop, and now he comes home to find he is loosing his wife as everything he owns is put out on the yard in a hint-hint fashion. He's just not very likable and even though he does make some changes toward the end of the movie, it's just not enough. This film was painful for me to watch, even if he did a good job with his part.

HANNA: ADAPT OR DIE

Hanna isn't a typical teenager. She doesn't own an Ipod, lip gloss or skinny jeans. But those aren't the things that make her atypical. She lives with her father, rouge CIA agent, in icy Finland and has been raised as a soldier, trained in combat, to survive in extreme circumstances. When we meet Hanna and her father, "the plan", her life's goal, etched in her head since birth is finally ready to be carried out and all she has to do is press a button. Launch into action uber-tense Marissa (a fantastic Cate Blanchett) with her Texas twang and steel cold heart who becomes both the hunter and the hunted. The story twists and turns and is a heart pounding race to the finish. Unfortunately the end ends with a whimper and not a bang, but it is the right ending to this girl's journey. Saoirse Ronan is stunning as a young woman who is both full of knowledge and naivete at the same time. At times she is like a wild animal and at others she is just a wide eyed teenager seeing all that the world has to offer for the first time, both good and bad. Eric Bana as her father is too full of heart and yet disconnected in that CIA operative kind of way. However Blanchett is a woman who is as tightly wound as they come. I will never brush my teeth again without remembering her. Her protagonist is about as cold hearted, cold blooded and steely as possible. This is a truly engaging film.

THE LINCOLN LAWYER: HE CAN DEFEND ME ANYTIME

Mick Haller: I checked the list of people I trust

and your name ain't on it.

After watching this film, a friend turned to me and asked why it was called the Lincoln Lawyer until the closing shot where she noticed what kind of car he had been driving around in. That's just the kind of guy Mick Haller (Matthew McConaughey) is. To call him slick would be an understatement. He's the kind of guy that seemingly gives lawyers their bad images. He may not be honest all of the time and may bend the rules and drinks far too much, but yet he's still likable. This film takes place in the "real" Los Angeles; gritty, dirty and full of low-lives. Much to his surprise he is called in to represent a wealthy young man accused of rape, played eerily stone faced by Ryan Phillippe. Talk about a low life dressed in a nice suit. Haller discovers this and much more but a lawyer is obligated to provide the best defence for his client no matter if they are actually guilty or innocent. However, the rule breaker finds a few ways to dodge the bullets. William H. Macy plays Haller's friend and investigator. What I liked best is seeing a gay man portrayed on screen without the clear announcement that he is. That's the way it should be. Also fun was Marisa Tomei as Haller's ex wife and current sympathetic ear (and sympathetic other things!) This movie is as full of twists and turns as the Hollywood Hills and it keeps it exciting. It's a side of LA we don't often get to see sans the gang violence and racial tension. I thought McConaughey did a fine job walking a fine line between good and highly questionable. I was thoroughly entertained and would certainly recommend it.

INSIDIOUS: TOO MUCH HYPE, BUT NOT AN AWFUL FLICK

My guilty pleasure is watching suspense thrillers, okay, it's really watching horror movies, BUT the ones without all the blood and guts. I like to be afraid, not grossed out. Brought to us by director James Wan, his style is a collective homage; in part to haunted house movies, in part to poltergeist and the last, little seen psychic astral projection and the "Further". It was visually quite stylish and well presented, but the plot was lacking and the acting was acceptable, but not much more. It is spooky and you'll find the edge of your seat quite worn, but that seems like its only intention. I can't recall it now, but I seemed to have liked the end twist, which is always a good sign. I think the hype out played what was delivered, but the delivery wasn't so bad.

HORRIBLE BOSSES: AMUSING FILM

Dean 'MF' Jones: I think I can help you boys.

Kurt Buckman: Are you a businessman?

Dean 'MF' Jones: Mother F**ker Jones.

Dale Arbus: Your first name is 'Mother F**ker?

Dean 'MF' Jones: My real name is Dean.

Nick Hendricks: Dean Jones, that's the same name of the actor in Herbie and the Love Bug.

Kurt Buckman: Yeah he probably doesn't even know that is.

Dean 'MF' Jones: I know who he is b***h. I can't walk around this f**king neighborhood with that Disney-ass name.

 The poster for this film, shows six good reasons why this a funny movie. Unlike others, I did not see this as "the funniest film of the year". However, I did think it was fun to watch.The uncompromising Jason Bateman stars with Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis who are three good friends who all have the same problem: their bosses. Kevin Spacey is an asshole, Colin Farrell is a coke head and Jennifer Aniston, well, let's just say she has some sexual frustrations. All three friends are pushed to their breaking point and one night in jest, it is suggested that they solve the problem by murdering each other's bosses. Jamie Foxx is perfect as a consultant hired on to advise on their proposed criminal deeds, Dean MF Jones. As with many things, the fun is in the journey and watching these three ordinary Joe's try to act as criminals is a long path to nowhere. Anyone who has daydreams of getting rid of their boss will appreciate at least the idea behind this film.   

SOMETHING BORROWED: SOMETHING BLUE, LIKE THIS FLICK

What a sad little film this turned out to be! Rachel (sweet Ginnifer Goodwin) falls for a college classmate Dex (Colin Egglesfield) but the friendship borderlines on romance gets sidetracked when her pushy, testosterone driven "best friend" (Kate Hudson) decides to date him. So good little egg Rachel tries hard to put him out of her mind while helping with the wedding plans, but is still attracted to him. So here begins the chase of cat and mouse and other cat. It's ugly and it's mean and if that's what you have for a best friend, then you have worse problems than Rachel does. It's the case of the bitch versus the doormat. Worse than that, when there is no way out of the pickle they are in, the story line goes way overboard and tries for a happily ever after that fizzles. Skip this and see ANYTHING ELSE!

 LIMITLESS: BREAKS THE BOUNDARIES

"I was blind, but now I see."

What if there was a pill that when you took it, your eyes became more intensely blue? Okay, that may not be the case that that is what it certainly felt like when watching this movie. Perhaps I was the only one to notice that change... When we first meet Eddie (Bradley Cooper) he is, for lack of a better word, a big loser. Being in the right place at the right time he is introduced to a pill, NZT, that allows him to use the full potential of his whole brain. It doesn't sound like much of a high but instead more of a mania. Either way, this pill allows him to be all that he can be without joining the Army. Soon, he is on top of the world, both careerwise and in general lifewise. This is what living life to the fullest is. Of course living this intense life does not come without consequence. Of course, to up the ante, there are only so many pills. Soon Eddie also finds out that he is not the only one to have discovered this new drug. And then things get literally cutthroat. (watch for the ice skating scene) I've loved the concept for this film, the idea of using the whole brain and what that might look like. It was a very slick looking movie and the story was intriguing. The supporting actors were not outstanding. The dialogue was not very memorable. But the idea that propelled the movie made up for it to weaker moments in this film. Cooper did an excellent job, especially with his big blue eyes.   

THE DILEMMA: NO CHOICE HERE, PASS

It's the Vince Vaughn show! This may be my new worst movie of the year. If you recall, this film got a lot of bad press due to its misuse of the word "gay".Well, I've got news for you. That wasn't the worst of it. This was the first movie that I saw where the gag reel isn't even funny. The characters in this were mean and did cruel things to each other. Note to Mr. Vaughn: you are no longer a young man and can no longer play stupid young man roles. Please stop. This movie was tedious, painful, and boring. I didn't like anybody. To make matters worse it was one of the longer films that I have seen. I'm sorry Ron Howard, but this one didn't cut it for me. What a total embarrassment of a film.   

RED RIDING HOOD:  NOT A FAIRY TALE

Once upon a time, dark little village in the middle of the woods, there lived a young girl named Valerie (Amanda Seyfried)whose family, as well as the whole entire village was threatened by an elusive werewolf. Now, throw in lust, forbidden love, family secrets, and Gary Oldman and then you will have this film. It is a visual spectacle, very focused on cinematography. And then the focus shifts, and shifts again and then shifts again and pretty soon we are alone in the woods with a werewolf. This film was lovely to look at but almost totally void of emotion. You cannot force sensuality. In the end, the story is brought together much like the "ah ha" moment of a Law and Order episode where we see the connection between all of the characters and the purpose for the crime. However, this summary was less than thrilling. There is nothing to miss here.  

HALL PASS: FROM THE FARRELLY BROTHERS... WATCH OUT

This movie, brought to you by the Farrelly Brothers,joins their latest body of work which begs the question, is it funny or is it just plain gross? We need a group of married guys who take their wives for granted. Knowing that these men are pretty much all talk, the wives agree to give them a hall pass.This past gives them one week off of being married, so they can do what ever they want and not worry about the consequences. And as the movie goes, yes, they pretty much are all talk, however the twists comes when the wives find themselves starting to stray. I liked how they used the Law and Order sound bite when counting off the days. It is however, typical Farrelly Brother's gross out scenes including, full frontal shots and the most graphic sneeze I have ever seen. All I can say is, these guys are in a class all by themselves. Should you see this movie, consider yourself warned.  

CEDAR RAPIDS: A BIG BAD WORLD AND A GOOD MOVIE

Tim Lippe (Ed Helms) is a little fish in a little pond. He is an insurance salesman in a small town which he will probably never leave. Finally, he gets his big break and is asked to leave on a very important company trip to an insurance convention in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Once there, he rapidly finds new friends: John C. Reilly, as the bad influence and party boy, Anne Heche as the seductive,live for the moment and let your hair down kind of woman and straitlaced, rule following, Isiah Whitlock, Jr. The four of them bond quickly and form a believable alliance. Helms is naïve and wide-eyed and totally believable in a part that could've been played over the top. In fact, the cast struck a comfortable tone that complemented one another. Of course with such bad influences, Lippe gets himself in to trouble and then out of trouble again with the help of these friends.  This was a sweet film with many entertaining and funny moments. My favorite, is when Whitlock launches into his favorite character from Oz the HBO television series about prison life. A very sweet movie.

CHATROOM: COME ON IN... IF YOU DARE

I wasn't sure quite what to expect from this film, but I did know that I adore the main character, actor Aaron Johnson, from two of my past well-liked movies, Kick Ass and Nowhere Boy. He plays William, an introvert who is disarmingly charismatic and charming. However, we find that he is more disturbed than one can imagine. In a highly clever and original style, this movie brings the concept of Internet chat rooms into a very visual medium. In this "place" (which is of course the Internet) we find many doors with intriguing titles on them and watch as William takes one for himself. This is his chat room. Slowly, other people join in, namely Eva, Jim and Emily. Our view switches back and forth from names in a chat room to where and who they actually are on the other side of the computer in real life. The dialogue is beautifully written so that it sounds like what someone would type in when chatting but yet acted out in a way that sounds like normal conversation. Johnson is the only actor I recognized, however all other actors in this film are excellent and did outstanding work. We learn about all of the people in the chat room and what their real lives are like. As we get to know them, we also get to see how twisted William really is. He acts as a sort of puppet master and gets his new friends to do things they probably wouldn't have done before. William sinks farther down into both depression and depravity as the film grows darker and darker. It is a suspense filled psychological drama and I found it 10 times more scary than Paranormal Activity. I could go on a bit about how good William is in this role, but I won't. I just want you to know that I could. It is a sad film and a tad depressing, but more than anything I found it intriguing, interesting and entertaining. What more could you ask from a film? Loved it!   

ARTHUR: DRUNKS NOT AS FUNNY AS THEY USED TO BE

Alcoholism just doesn't pack the same amusing punch. This remake by the same name doesn't mean the same thing as it did in the original. Hobson is now a woman (Helen Mirren) and Arthur is a young party boy (Russell Brand) who has  "savant-ish gift for defying death with fun." His overbearing mother pushes for his marriage to Jennifer Garner, another overbearing woman with dollar signs in her eyes. Brand has some funny one-liners and scenes (boxing with Evander Holyfield, bidding in an auction against himself) but then he tries to fall in "real" love with Greta Gerwig (???) who has the opposite of funny one-liners and whose performance falls worse than flat. The funny just isn't consistent and then at the end it gets all serious and dramatic. No one wants to see Arthur in rehab. This was not a brilliant remake AT ALL. I like Brand but he isn't enough to carry the movie. Mirren is lovely, but not enough to save the movie. Garner is nice but doesn't belong in this movie. Gerwig... she was in this movie??? Sorry, I forgot.

ALL GOOD THINGS... include Ryan Gosling
Yes, even when his character is a pathological unstable jerk. It didn't start out that way (it never does). Based on a real-life story, Gosling is David Marks, son of a wealthy controlling and over-critical father and absent mother. He falls in love with a "commoner" Katie, Kirsten Dunst, who falls right back in love with him despite his oddities. The marriage turns abusive and Marks keeps getting creepier and creepier. Dunst is lovely and grounded as an abused wife growing more concerned as she runs out of options. It is sad that this film wasn't more of a success so that her performance could have been better acknowledged. The end is a theorized twist, based on the real case from court transcripts. A disturbing movie, well acted and sadly too common.    

BEASTLY: TRITE, BUT NOT BEASTLY
Sometimes I like just watching movies that I usually never watch, and usually never admit to watching and this was one of them. It isn't a good movie, but it also wasn't so bad I turned it off before the ending. Basically, pretty people are bad. Popular high school guy Kyle (Alex Pettyfur) is supposed to be such a jerk and full of himself that school goth-witch Mary-Kate Olsen decides to turn him into a "beast" and will stay that way until he gets someone to love him as he is. Nice concept, but his "ugly" looks more like Mike Tyson's now infamous face tattoo. So sent to live alone and roam the streets only at night, somehow semi-believably the ONE girl from school that thought Kyle was a good guy (Vanessa Hudgens) ends up having to stay with Kyle and his entourage; witty tutor Neil Patrick Harris and wise Jamaican nanny/housekeeper. Do I really have to tell you how it ends? Certainly trite and been done before but not terrible, close though.  

JUST GO WITH IT: MORE LIKE, JUST GO AWAY WITH IT

Seeing reality TV icon Heidi Montague the first 10 minutes of this movie was a sad indicator of what to expect from the rest of it. This was of course one of those typical Adam Sandler everybody gets the truth mixed up kind of movie. Sandler is a tricky bachelor who uses a fake wedding ring to attract women. He isn't actually married, but the catch is that he pretends to be very unhappily married and on the brink of divorce. This setup alone is quite lame. To think that there are actually men out there who do this is also quite lame. So of course he has a meaningful encounter blond bombshell, Brooklyn Decker, and when she finds the ring he has to come up with some big story rather than sounding like the tool that he actually is about why he wears a ring. Enter comes Jennifer Aniston. My favorite. She is a coworker of Sandler's, the plain, unattractive, assistant who of course he has never thought about" that way". So she comes into the story as his soon-to-be ex-wife and of course this involves a makeover. Yes, we need to work that hard to make Jennifer Aniston look hot. So Decker wants to meet his soon to be pretend ex to make sure he isn't lying. Oh no, not lying in here! So hot new Aniston puts on a show and the jokes just fall flat. As if that weren't enough, we drag her children into the lie as well. This movie comes off like a bad Three's Company episode. I begrudgingly will admit to finding enough interest in this movie to watch it to the end There were moments that made it okay, like Nicole Kidman's small part as a past competitive rival to Aniston's character. Overall, if you miss this movie I think you will be able to get on with your life just fine. Spoiler alert, of course you know that Aniston and Sandler get together by the end of the movie don't you? I mean, you just have to see that one coming from a mile away.      

SUCKER PUNCH: BE SURE TO DUCK

I have no idea where to start with flashy looking, music video with words movie. This is the kind of movie that people either love or hate. It could very well turn into a cult classic.It borderlines on pornographic; pedophiles dream come true. A cast of scantily clad, kick-ass babes who for the most part look like they're all under 18, running around copying moves from all of the best choreographed films; Kill Bill, The Matrix, Wanted, and so on. This is a fantasy world where all the men are bad, and or abusive. So, when institutionalized, our main heroine Baby Doll,can't stand the reality of living in an institution and so she transports herself into another fantasy world. However, that world is also terrible enough that she needs to transport herself into yet another fantasy world. Symbolically, this is where she and her captive friends, all scantily clad, fight for their freedom. You might say it's like Inception on acid. Generally speaking, I like films where the women kick ass. However, these girls looked like they were just playing the part. It was an interesting film, that I can't say that I quite enjoyed it. I will have to admit that I did fast forward through bits of the fantasy fight sequence. Not quite my cup of tea.    

TRUE GRIT A TRUE MASTERPIECE

December is my favorite movie watching month. Usually all the best films are released for the holiday season, a way to get Oscar minded folks to keep these films fresh in their minds. More than likely, True Grit didn't receive the accolades they deserved because the Coen brothers restyled the 1969 John Wayne True Grit. It's not a remake. The dialogue is fresh and snappy, what the Coen's are best at and the plot, while still following the original, has twists and turns that are brilliant. This was the ONLY movie this season that I both laughed and cried at; mind you, gut busting laughter. It's basically a story set in the wild old west where a young woman (a phenomenal Hailee Steinfeld) has "hired" a bounty hunter (an outstanding Jeff Bridges)  to find the man who killed her father; classic tale of revenge. What isn't classic, is the bond formed between this "colorful" character and this wise-beyond-her-years young girl. Sprinkle a little Matt Damon and Josh Brolin in and call it a party! There is comedy, drama, suspense and touching human interaction. What more could anyone want in a film?Watch the end credits where Buster Coen, Ethan Coen's son, is listed as "Mr. Damon's abs double". In reality, he was an on-set assistant to the script supervisor.

RABBIT HOLE: WHOLE HEARTED

They say (who ever "they" are) that the worst possible loss is that of a child. Not only is it tragic when such a young life is lost, but it is out of the order of things when a child dies before their parents. This film is about a young couple, Becca and Howie (Nicole Kidman and Aaron Eckhart) who are struggling to put their lives and marriage back together after their son is hit by a young driver; truly an accident. While the storyline is not new, it is done carefully and with refreshing honesty; grief is messy and unkind. Becca wants to resume life as usual and tries so hard to get back in to the rhythm of life without realizing she is trying to skip over her grief. Howie is the opposite, finding it hard to let go and swimming in a sea of memories. Both actors do tremendous jobs in this film. For the first time in a while, I felt like I was watching a character, rather than Kidman acting. In a film like this it could easily slide into a movie-of-the-week drama, but it stays grounded and truthful. There is no right way to grieve; no time deadlines; no rules. I really appreciated how they ended the film. No one ever lives happily ever after. In this film, however, they do continue to live.

BLUE VALENTINE: PLEASE BE MINE

Dean: In my experience, the prettier a girl is, the more nuts she is... which makes you insane. You're probably nutty coo coo crazy.

This is not your typical love story. It's a crazy roller coaster ride where there is mad crazy passionate love, mad crazy scary vulnerability;love lost and love found. This film follows this crazy dysfunctional passionate relationship between married couple Dean (Ryan Gosling) and Cindy (Michelle Williams) as they struggle to remember what brought them together in the first place and what keeps them together now. Undoubtedly, there is a ton of chemistry between Gosling and Williams. This story is that they moved into this house together and lived for a month before shooting the film. In addition, a great deal of the script was improvised which made it obvious how connected these two people were. The movie flashbacks to when the couple first met and the crazy things they did in the name of love and contrasts that with their routine married life,which didn't turn out exactly how either of them had planned. Gosling is magical. He shows both a vulnerability and assured bravado. Williams, is both alluring and tired of having to be the adult in the relationship. I guess that's why they say for better or for worse. Overall, a well done film. 

THE ROOMMATE: LOVE HURTS... AS DOES MENTAL INSTABILITY

We have already seen this before, most closely resembling Single White Female, but this one is for the new, younger generation and it's nowhere near as good. Small-town girl Sara (Minka Kelly) is new to UCLA in Los Angeles. She is pretty and social and returns back to her dorm room only to meet Rebecca (Leighton Meester) while drunk and about to toss her cookies. Maybe if she stayed drunk, none of this would have happened. But, Rebecca integrates herself into Sara's life and pretty soon is lying and "fixing" things for her. [Note to self: turn off film when cute kitten or puppy is introduced.] The only highlight in this film for me was Billy Zane, Sara's smarmy professor. After all, how can one not think of fashion and Billy Zane, especially after Zoolander?! Even so, he wasn't enough to save this film. The acting was vacuous as were the female leads. You were given advance warning when most of the scary parts were coming and you could predict the others. This was maybe the worst film I've seen all year. Be sure to run right out and rent something else!

WELCOME TO THE RILEYS... NOT YOUR TYPICAL FAMILY

James Gandolfini is a talented actor. He can portray the tough mobster who could kill you for messing up his sandwich order just as easily portray the grieving father who, when meeting a young woman who reminds him of his deceased daughter, decides to give her some guidance and help while asking nothing in return. Kristen Stewart is that young woman who is of course young, naive and a "dancer" who entertains men like him to make a living. She's typically hardened at a young age and obviously skipped her adolescence in order to survive on the streets. Like a feral animal, she reluctantly accepts his help and then grows to enjoy both the company and the improvement he brings to her life. Oh, did I mention he's married? His wife (Melissa Leo) has been mentally fragile and house bound since her daughter's death but finds the strength to find her husband at his out of town "conference" only to find he ditched it in order to help the girl. Rather than storm out and accuse him of wrongdoings, she decides to stay and help and gets to use her dusty mothering techniques. They all need each other and get their needs filled just enough to continue on in this game we call life. Strong performances by all. Broken people trying to put themselves back together. Married people working together rather than attempting to deal with their grief separately. A strong film, unexpected and attention grabbing.

BURIED:  OPEN THIS ONE FIRST!

Dan Brenner:

that your ransom video already has 47,000 hits on YouTube.

 I always thought hell was being stuck on a phone tree or waiting in line at the supermarket while somebody has to do a price check, but it's not... hell is waking up in a plain wood box having been buried alive after having been taken captive in Iraq. Paul Conroy (Ryan Reynolds) is an American truck driver working in Iraq in 2006. He's taken and buried in a shallow grave with a cell phone, lighter, a flask of booze, flashlight and little else. He soon finds out the specifics of how and why he is there and has to come up with a million "money" to pay his random. Along the lines of 127 hours, this is a one man show and Reynolds does a fantastic job with it. This time, however, Conroy is able to use his cell phone and reaches out to many different people, bringing both humor and more terror to the situation. What makes this more scary than a slasher flick to me is that it could really happen. Needless to say, claustrophobics need not apply! The most suspenseful are the last 10 minutes, which I will not elaborate in order to keep some surprises secret. I almost didn't watch this one, but I'm glad I did. It was well done.

THE KING'S SPEECH: (one of the) BEST FILM 2011

King George VI: If I'm King, where's my power? Can I form a government? Can I levy a tax, declare a war? No! And yet I am the seat of all authority. Why? Because the nation believes that when I speak, I speak for them.

But I can't speak.

Oscar award winner for the best film of 2011, the King's speech has everything that a movie of this caliber could ask for. It is hilarious and tender all at the same time, focusing on George VI (Colin Firth in the absolutely flawless performance) who, for lack of a better phrase, needed to step up to the plate and lead his country in their time of need. His headstrong wife, also played to perfection by Helena Bonham Carter, after numerous attempts to cure the King's persistent stuttering problem, finds, for lack of a better word, a commoner embodied by Geoffrey Rush, who uses an orthodox measures to get the King settled in his role as commander of a country. These two men, embark on a journey together and although Carter is along for the ride, a partner to her husband as any strong wife would be, at its heart this is the story of a man who must overcome more than just a studder and in the wake he builds a lasting friendship, both men showing that they have both wise hearts and minds. This film has it all, drama, comedy, tension, suspense, and a triumph of the human spirit. This was perhaps the safer choice to win best picture of the year over The Social network,but do not let that take anything away from such a masterpiece of a movie. I think my only criticism, is that Geoffrey Rush was robbed of this Oscar-winning performance. He is magic. However, there is no doubt that this is Colin Firth's film. However stodgy it may appear, this movie is certainly not, and is one definitely not to miss.