THE HAUNTING OF MOLLY HARTLEY

THE HAUNTING OF MOLLY HARTLEY WASN'T
It wasn't haunting, scary or memorable. I don't do slasher flicks, but once in a while I'll rent a hope-to-be thriller/scary movie. This one was regrettable. It had Rosemary's Baby aspirations and fell so short of that I would use negative integers to grade it. Basically the movie is a cat and mouse chase. The ending tries to be clever and tosses in, basically, a whole new movie and plot line.
This one bites: Terrible, terrible, terrible...

NIGHTS IN RODANTHE

NIGHTS IN RODANTHE, DAYS IN HELL

Dr. Paul Flanner: We all make choices, Adrienne. You chose that life, you chose that man. Do you even remember who you really are anymore?

Adrienne Willis: Just stop it.

It just gets worse from there. Through a totally predictable set up we meet Diane Lane (Adrienne) and Richard Gere (Paul) in the same place at the right time. It was contrived if ever there was anything more true to the word. Both characters were less than authentic and watching the actors try to bring them to life was both sad and pointless. The dialogue was hollow and oh so terrible. It's hard to understand that these two talented actors would have chosen this to do anything but fund raise (which seems to be going around). I don't know if the movie was worse than the ending, or not, as it was hard to watch the TV screen and throw up at the same time. Total fatal movie.
BITE this: Put the clock next to the screen and watch your time wasted on this film. Yuck!

TRAITOR

TRAITOR NOT ON MY GOOD SIDE
Don Cheadle is one of my most favorite actors. I guess actors need to pay the bills, so someone shook him awake, propped him up and made this film. While I am glad he has the money to go buy groceries, I am upset with the lack of pulse this film offered. Think The Departed and then think bigger than that and you've got the story. Who do you trust? Who are the bad guys and are all of them bad? Not a significant original approach by ways of plot, action, characters and so on. Guy Pearce is also in the film. Even just writing this review I feel tired and would rather rearrange my sock drawer. The film wasn't engaging or interesting and it was very hard to follow. Trust me, don't wast the time or money.
This BITES: Tired worn out plot meets tired in need of cash actors. Total dud!

MAX PAYNE

MAX PAYNE INDEED PAYNEFUL



Oh, where to start... This movie was very, very, very, very, pretty. The use of shadows disbursed with primary colors gave it an unoriginal, but pretty look. I didn't know this movie was based on a video game when I watched it. Noticing the first part of the movie was full of scantily clad, silicone women I can now see the intended demographic. The plot was so thin and recycled it almost didn't exist. Instead the dark shadows and Max Payne's (Marky-Mark Walhberg) brooding stare took center stage with the snow. The whole movie had this huge snowfall, that never seemed to stick. It was pretty too. Of course there was the clique bad guy, the one who seems most helpful then turns around and stabs the hero in the back. Chris O'Donnell was unrecognisable in the film and he did something too. None of this movie even tried to make sense and none of the characters were consistent. The ending was not only unsatisfying, but really stupid.

True to form, Marky-Mark (If you weren't born then or didn't know, Marky-Mark started out his career as a "rapper" with a lot of underwear ads for Calvin Klein. Now by just going by Mark and trying to act, he tries to fit in where he doesn't belong. He seems to operate in one mode as portrayed by Andy Samburg of Saturday Night Live (look it up on You Tube).

BITE me: A sorry waste of time both to film the movie and to watch it.

VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA

VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA: "Speak English!"

Who would have guessed that one of film making's worst and scariest bad-guy Javier Bardem in No Country For Old Men, would turn into a Lothario, dripping with charisma and raw sexuality?

Vicky (Rebecca Hall) and Cristina (Scarlet Johansson) head off to Barcelona on a summer romp. Vicky is due to be married soon, to fit into her "role" as a woman, and Cristina is a restless soul, unsure of what she wants (but sure of what she doesn't want). It is there that they meet up with Juan Antonio (Bardem) who directly asks them both to join him on a plane trip to a nearby town and a night in bed. Despite all the warnings of how women need to act while traveling abroad, the two join him and the rest is a complicated Allen-esk tale of love, relationships, sensuality, romance and the complicated nature of combining all together. Woody is on top of his game with this film. The less I know of his personal life, the more I find myself enjoying his films. The dialogue was sharp and clever, but not pretentious. The plot held just enough suspense to keep it both real and enjoyable. The acting, by far, was top notch. It seems that Woody has his favorites and now it is Johansson. He wrote the part with her in mind and it shows. Hall and Bardem are also just right for their roles. However, it is Penelope Cruz, Maria Elena, Juan Antonio's ex-wife who cuts through the story like a wildfire. She is the perfect passionate Latina who is just crazy enough to be exciting and engaging. Just when the story takes another turn and you start to predict, you are thrown into another direction, much like Bardem who had to learn to drive for this film. This film is enjoyable and endearing, from the writing to the actors. The only explosion comes from Cruz and the chase scenes are much more sensual than frightening. Not to be missed.
BIG bite: Thoroughly entertaining and mesmerizing. Another tightly woven piece of film making art.