THE SOLOIST

THE SOLOIST: A PERFECT DUET


Being a psychology major in college, I've gained a discerning eye with regard to films about the mentally ill. My complaints usually stem from the usual stereotypical behavior assigned to each condition. This film, however, did an exceptional job of showing the reality of a terrible majority of those who suffer mental illness and homelessness. It's not perfect and to me, ended up being more about homelessness than mental illness. Over time, many people who endure mental illness have also been blessed with genius; painting, writing, playing music. That's where this movie starts. Steve Lopez (Robert Downey Jr.) is a reporter in Los Angeles who, while searching for story ideas, comes across an interesting character, Nathaniel Ayers (Jamie Foxx) who can make a two-strung violin sound like angels from heaven.

LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT

LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT GIVES NEW MEANING TO HORROR FILM; WARNING, THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS

This was, by far, the most horrifying horror film I've seen in a while. It's not because it was that good. It's due to its over the top, graphic and painful violence. Characters like Jason or Freddy are surreal. They kill at random and usually in an over the top, not so believable (get out of the house!) way. Haunted house flicks are suspenseful and may have bloodshed, but it's from unearthly beings, which again, makes it less believable. Last House, however, is so realistic and "it could happen to anyone-ish" that it is unbearable to even hear some scenes, let alone watch them. The story is a nice doctor and his family go to their summer house. The young girl, as usual, wants to visit her friend and heads into town. One thing leads to another and soon the young girl is beaten, brutally raped, shot and then left for dead by a rag-tag bunch of psychopaths. As the rain hits, the psychopaths end up at the girls house, unwittingly asking her parents for shelter from the rain. It is tense and even more suspenseful than a grade B horror flick.

QUID PRO QUO: Quick Bite

QUID PRO QUO: NOT AN EVEN TRADE

Was more like 'Quid Pro NO' as far as I'm concerned. David Cronenberg had a controversial film in 1996 called Crash (no, not that one) where it was a mysterious mixture of damaged people and sex. From the jacket, this was supposed to be the same type of film and it missed the mark. Issac Knott (Nick Stahl) is a radio reporter who gets a leed for a story about people faking being confined to their wheelchairs. The twist is that he is paralyzed from a car accident when he was young. So he does his detective work, meets a mysterious woman, Fiona, (Vera Farmiga)and then the plot tanks from there. By the time the movie should have climaxed, it looses it's hard on and the revelation falls on an empty movie theater (if it even made it that far). Boring, boring, boring and SO not sexy.

Bite Me: Go rent the original Crash and watch a truly twisted and sexy film.

17 AGAIN: Quick Bite

17 AGAIN: CAN'T TELL YOU WHY...

Think of this as the guy's answer to Freaky Friday. A man (Chandler, I mean Matthew Perry) whose life is not turning out the way he hoped mysteriously morphs back into his 17 year old body (Zac Efron). Who would want to be 17 again is a far more mysterious thought to me. It doesn't take much effort to see where the jokes fall, and the physical humor is a stretch. Chandler, I mean Mike's friend, Ned, (Thomas Lennon) who pretends to be his father is amusingly worth watching. I lived to see it to the end of the movie, but I still wouldn't recommend it to anyone over 17.

Mini Bite: Not a terrible movie, but not clever, or unpredictable either.

PUSH: Quick Bite

PUSH: JUST LIKE HEROES FROM TV.... SERIOUSLY

That's pretty much the film in a nutshell except we see Dakota Fanning working on keeping her career alive now that she's not a cute little kid. Basically a group of people (like in Heroes) are trying to track down young pretty people with "abilities" (just like Heroes) and use their powers for evil not good. It takes place in Hong Kong, so that's different, otherwise it's a cheap knockoff.
No Bite: Instead, rent the first season of Heroes and catch up before the new one starts.

I LOVE YOU MAN: Quick Bite

I LOVE YOU MAN... I LOVE YOU A WHOLE LOT

Just when I've given up on love, in walks a movie with a whole different twist. Peter Klaven (Paul Rudd) and Zooey (Rashida Jones) are about to get married. Problem is, once all the wedding plans are in motion, it becomes painfully obvious that Peter doesn't have any guy friends. So this is a love story about a man, a woman and another man; but not in the way that you think. This is a fresh and hilarious movie, perfectly cast and acted, that was so funny I thought I might pee my pants. Sydney (Jason Segel) is a perfect answer for Peter's plight. His actions and the twists and turns keep you guessing and also points out how cynical we can be. Rush fans need apply.
BIG BITE: Be sure to watch the extras. The gag reel alone will make you chuckle.

THE UNBORN: Very Quick Bite

THE UNBORN SHOULD HAVE STAYED THAT WAY

Bad acting, cheap screams, convoluted plot, dud of an ending. The only thing that kept me watching, aside of feelings of duty, was the Rabbi who breathed fresh air into the movie and performed an entertaining exorcism.

Bite Me: Can I have my rental fee back???

REVOLUTIONARY ROAD: Quick Bite

REVOLUTIONARY ROAD, A DEAD END

The breakdown of a marriage carried out by a young couple who leads lives of quiet desperation. I can rave about the work well done for a period picture, but am left far from satiated over the film and the performances. The film, based on a best selling book, doesn't seem to be able to pull off the message. It comes close, but not close enough. I found it boring and pedantic, wondering when 'that scene' would play out and make the movie come to a climax. I love both actors, but found that they didn't have the same chemistry they did as young lovers in Titanic. The acted at each other rather than with each other. I didn't care about either of them, which a good film does; it engages you. I may be the only one who feels this way, but I call 'em as I see 'em.

Polite Nibble: Like being on the edge of orgasm and not finding release.

OBSESSED: Quick Bite

OBSESSED IS MAD CRAZY

There is one and only Fatal Attraction and this film is a cheap knockoff. It's a good thing Beyonce (Mrs. Sharon Charles) can sing, because she certainly can't act. Typical rehash of man, Derek (Idris Elba) who is happily married and wonderful and great and his wife is beautiful and wonderful and great and they have a baby who is wonderful and great. No one in movie land can let all things be so wonderful and great. Ali Larter is Lisa, the more than just hot temp who works her way around Derek's office. Soon she is obsessed (great title!) with him and does all sorts of crazy, boring things to squeeze into the family photo. Larter is a hot babe, but doesn't seem to be able to act like she's mentally deficient as Elba can't seem to act enough to say a believable 'no' to her advances. All over, not even a speck of a good film.

Bite Me: Perhaps it would have been a better movie if someone did bite someone else. Lame.

HAUNTING IN CONNETICUT: Quick Bite

HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT: based on what???

Supposedly this film is "based on" real events. The events in question most likely have little to do with the haunting. Until I have my own ghost, I'll retract my review then. Family unit has a son who has cancer and needs treatment in a town far away from the family home. They get a cheap deal on a local house (which means it's either built over an Indian grave site or another clue that the market is crashing) and cue the drama, lots of unexplained events happen while they are there. Personally, the only thing that kept me awake toward the end was Elias Koteas' presence, which I would love to haunt me sometime.

Baby Bite: Slightly more confusing than terrifying; slightly entertaining at best.

BEDTIME STORIES: Quick Bite

BEDTIME STORIES: Sweet as a gumball

I didn't like this movie at first. Adam Sandler seemed to sleepwalk the first half, perhaps on purpose. Most children's films (Shrek being notable) have something, even if subtly, to offer for the adults who brought their children to the movie to enjoy. I can't say that I felt or saw anything comparable. Sandler is the Uncle to a pair of children and a bizarro guinea pig who ends up telling bedtime stories that turn out to show an incredible similarity to incidents in the real world. Sure, predictable and not that great, but all the same, I felt warm and happy at the end of it. Cute enough for children, but no Emmy winner.

Nibble: For the children, not for the adults.

THE ONION: THE MOVIE: Quick Bite

THE ONION: THE MOVIE, REALLY STINKS

A parody movie that is both dated and not funny. Not worth the breath it takes to utter the name of the film.

Bite me: Ick.

YES MAN

SAY YES TO YES MAN!

"The era of yes has begun."

Too many romantic comedies, serious drama, horror and box office "gold" which nags and berates you to see this "must see" film. Yes Man, however, is music for the masses. Carl Allen (Jim Carrey) is "Joe Nobody". He leads a less than average life, boring, predictable and sheltered. Until one day... that one day where he runs into an old friend acting very different. He strongly urged Carl to join the "yes" movement. Curious, and with NOTHING to lose, Carl attends one of the seminars, though reluctantly. The guru, Terrence Bundley (Terence Stamp in a wonderful and dry comedic timing.) makes contact with Carl, and his life changes dramatically. He is to say YES! to everything; to experience life to its fullest. Along the way, he finds romantic love with the odd duck, Allison (portrayed by a lovely and quirky Zooey Deschanel). His life constantly expanding, what could go wrong?

I find Jim Carey an either/or actor. People loved in in Ace Ventura (which I have never been able to watch the whole thing to this day) or hated Cable Guy (which of course I loved). My introduction to him was Doing Time on Maple Drive, a serious and well acted film. No doubt I love him best for Eternal Sunshine... he is vulnerable and soft and human. Yes Man was perhaps a combination of the two. He is geeky and has his "fart humor" bit in the same way, he has attached a body and soul to those farts. He is flesh and blood and is excited the way most would be; perhaps borderline geeky. Tongue tied around his new object of desire is sweet and cute.

Hands down, this was a laugh out loud movie and I dare you to tell me otherwise.

BIG BITE: Great film, great acting, fun to watch. What else is there???