THE BLIND SIDE: WAS BLIND, BUT NOW I SEE

Leigh Anne Touhy: If you so much as set foot downtown, you will be sorry. I'm in a prayer group with the D.A.,

I'm a member of the NRA and I'm always packing.

Leigh Anne Touhy is definitely a woman you want on your side. She's fiery, passionate and compassionate and this film is based on her ability to practice what she preached. The movie is about a successful family with a strong willed mother and wife at the helm leading her children to do their best, do what's right and do the good thing. Shortly after being abandoned by his mother, Michael Oher, a big, strapping hunk of a young man from "the other side" of the tracks collides with Touhy's force of nature and the rest makes for an inspirational film. Yes, there is a lot about sports and some notable football people make cameo appearances in the film, but it's not all just about football. It's about doing the right thing for the right reasons and showing kindness for no other reason but to do just that. Sandra Bullock easily won best actress for her portrayal of Touhy and she earned what didn't come easily. Quinton Aaron as Oher blends the best mix of naive young man with street smart witness and is humble and soft spoken. This film is about values and morals and following the path of the righteous. It has just the right mix of emotion and determination which makes it a pleasure and an honor to witness.

BIG bite: A valuable contribution and refreshing decent story.

BRIGHT STAR, BRIGHT FILM

A poem needs understanding through the senses. The point of diving into a lake is not immediately to swim to the shore but to be in the lake,

to luxuriate in the sensation of water.

You do not work the lake out, it is a experience beyond thought.

Poetry soothes and emboldens the soul to accept the mystery.

-John Keats

Brought to us on the wings of a dove by Jane Campion, this understated story is as much about the story telling as it is about the story itself. Simply put, it is a period piece about the poet John Keats (Ben Wishaw) and his love of Frances Cornish (Abbie Cornish) before his early death in his mid-twenties. If you can slow down to the mellow pace of the film, it surrounds your senses. Lush and rich, the greens are full and deep and have a feel to them. The wind blowing through the windows, making the curtains dance seem to leak out of the screen and through your hair. The bountiful fields of flowers and their velvet petals pale only to the fragile butterflies colored just as vibrant. It is a set, a scene where these two strangers fall deeply and madly in love with one another. Paul Schneider does an excellent job as Frances' rival for Keats attention as Charles Armitage Brown. The snippy dialogue between the two make for humor in a story where all else is so proper and prim. For the time, the love affair was made exciting and passionate. I did not find Wishaw to be a particularly handsome man and was surprised by the casting, but his acting and stance muted my objections. Even knowing the ending, I felt tears come watching Frances suffer from her grief from losing him to both his travels and his death. It was superb.

Big bite: A passionate tale told in a a fairy tale world of poetry itself. 

SURROGATES: THEY DON'T MAKE THEM LIKE THEY USED TO

Think Stepford Wives but easier to explain. In the future, people activate avatars who look and sound like they do while they stay at home hooked up to a computer. When we first meet our hero he looks young and well polished, until we discover that he is not exactly what his "surrogate" looks like. This happens with many people, as it does in the real world where people hook up to online games to become the powerful and almighty before being told to clean their rooms and do their homework. Good cop, Tom Greer's surrogate is destroyed and instead of opting for a loaner, he continues his investigation in his real world body. Will he survive?

THE STEPFATHER: WHO'S YOUR DADDY NOW?

A remake of the 1987 thriller by the same name with more skin shots. It was a disappointment to see Dylan Walsh who I adored in Nip/Tuck feel that he had to show the "bad guy" part of his acting chops. Pretty much of a waste of film.

No bite: May have well been a movie about garlic.

PAPER HEART, FLIMSY BODY

"Seth Rogen: Your love glass is half full."

Charlyne Yi can't speak. Watch the bonus features and see how many takes it took to get what you see on screen because she giggles and stutters and has no composure whatsoever. She is a geek, but that is part of her appeal so we let that suspension of reality go for the time being. She has decided, with director Nick Jasanovec (who hired an actor to portray him onscreen) to go on the road and travel to all sorts of places to meet all sorts of people to try to find out what love is.

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE IS

Carol: We were gonna make a whole world like this. Now, everyone used to come here, but you know... you know what it feels like when all your teeth are falling out really slowly and you don't realize and then you notice that, well, they're really far apart.

And then one day... you don't have any teeth anymore.

Max: Yeah.

Carol: Well it was like that.

Childhood can be a fatal condition. It's amazing that anyone ever grows up. Like many others I anticipated this film, dreaming of the magical kingdom that would emerge from Spike Jonze fertile imagination. Unlike many others, I was disappointed in the result. The story is an adaptation of the children's book by Maurice Sendak where a naughty boy gets sent to bed without his supper (by his mother Catherine Keener) and creates a magical world where he can be "wild".

THE INFORMANT

THE INFORMANT: BOY ARE MATT DAMON'S PANTS ON FIRE

Mark Whitacre: When polar bears hunt, they crouch down by a hole in the ice and wait for a seal to pop up. They keep one paw over their nose so that they blend in, because they've got those black noses. They'd blend in perfectly if not for the nose. So the question is, how do they know their noses are black? From looking at other polar bears? Do they see their reflections in the water and think, "I'd be invisible if not for that." That seems like a lot of thinking for a bear.

I loved this film!!! No car crashes, chase scenes, drug using or foul language and I still loved it!  Based on real life events and directed by Steven Soderbergh, Matt Damon is Mark Whitacre, the Vice President at an agricultural company, who decides to "blow the whistle" on his employers and their illegal price fixing practices. He joins with the FBI, Scott Bakula as Agent Brian Shepard and Joel McCale as agent Bob Herndon and begins an elaborate operation of recording conversations and meetings to strengthen the case. However, the FBI doesn't know that their star witness is Bipolar and his stories keep spinning a web so elaborate that even he can't keep track of what's real.

THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE

THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE: THE STORY OF AN ICON

Anna Wintour: I think what I often see it that people are frightened about fashion because it scares them or make them feel insecure they just put it down. On the whole people that may say, the mean things about our world I think that's usually because they feel, in some ways, excluded or, you know, not a part of 'the cool group' so as a result they just mock it.

Words of wisdom from a fashion icon. This film is a documentary about Vogue editor Anna Wintour and the equally iconic Fall issue of Vogue magazine that reaches upwards of 750 pages or so. It is mind bending to comprehend how our fashion choices are essentially dictated by by one powerful woman at the drop of a hat. I think the reason Wintour rubs people the wrong way is that she's a powerful woman. No powerful men have been called into question for being emotionless or cold.

THE BOX

THE BOX: HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE

Arlington Steward: I have an offer to make. If you push the button, two things will happen. First, someone, somewhere in the world, whom you don't know, will die. Second, you will receive a payment of one million dollars. You have 24 hours.

Somebody get me a cigarette fast because I have just been thoroughly mind f#&*ed! Maybe if had more Tang and sat through more Twilight Zone episodes in the '70's I could have made better sense of this film. I won't go into much detail except the year is 1976 and this nice Virginia suburban family is having money troubles. However, that's about to change.

2012

2012 PARTY OVER, ALMOST OUT OF TIME

"So tonight we're gonna party like it's 2012..." Yeah, the movie didn't work either. Damn solar flares! Just when you think you have the whole 'end of days' stuff down, the Mayan calendar comes along and within minutes, predicts the end of the world as we know it and I don't feel fine. So much buzz on this movie and SO much disappointment. Basically, the earth turns into a big pond and hurray, John Cusack and his family survive. Don't get me wrong, I love John Cusack and Amanda Peet, but come on. Yeah, that may be a spoiler, but too bad. If you can sit through that much of this film then you at least deserve to know the stupid and unreasonable and unrealistic ending. At 158 minutes, "2012" is Roland Emmerich's second-longest film and needs editing. Some of the special effects are kinda neat looking, but nothing groundbreaking or thrilling to watch. The characters are unbelievable and make likewise decisions during the course of the film. It just doesn't make sense. The realization of what is going on behind the special effects is sickening and for there to be some hint of a happy ending doesn't work. This was just a really poorly executed (bad pun) film with throwaway characters (except Woody Harrelson who was fun but wasted) (wasted as an actor not stoned) (although he might have been, who knows). I'm just glad I got the movie from Redbox and only had to pay a dollar. It wasn't worth it, but better than $9 at the theater.
Lack of a bite: Really bad movie

COUPLES RETREAT

COUPLES RETREAT NEEDS A RETREAT FROM THE RETREAT

Somebody in Entertainment Weekly, it may have been Stephen King, wrote that if the cover of the movie says "#1 Comedy in the Nation" it translates to mean, this movie is so not funny but we fooled everyone else into renting  it (because no one saw it in the theater), or something to that point. It certainly rings true with this dud. Despite have a feasibly competent cast this bromance for married men flops miserably. Vince Vaughn, his dad, Jon Favereau, Jason Bateman, Kristin Davis, Kristen Bell, and lots of others all disapppointed greatly. The only mildly interesting character was Carlos Ponce, Salvatore, the boundaryless yoga teacher who was also pleasing on the eyes. This movie was filmed in Bora Bora and is beautiful, but save the rental fee and get a travel brochure instead.

NO bite: Two pretty sights do not a good movie make. A waste of a cast and film.

ICE CASTLES

ICE CASTLES ARE EASILY BROKEN WHEN REMADE POORLY

If I sued remakes based on how terrible they were, I would be a rich woman. Going into the preliminaries I knew it would not be a good film. There was no star power, in fact, the lead, Lexi (Taylor Firth) is an ice skater NOT an actress... and it shows. The original Ice Castles wasn't Gone With The Wind, but it was simple and dopey and magical and romantic and had Robby Benson and Colleen Dewhurst and Tom Skerritt and you rooted for Lexi both before and after she got injured. There was chemistry between Nick and Lexi.

Nick Peterson: Here. There's a hand in front of you. Grab it.

Alexis Winston: What are you doing here?

Nick Peterson: [affectionately] Came to see you break your ass.

Alexis Winston: Can't see you very well. I don't know if you're kidding.

Nick Peterson: Just listen to my voice. I'm not kidding.

So much of a lack of a bite it's impossible to say: See the original. Cheesy, but so much better and romantically rewarding.

EXTRACT

EXTRACT MAKES FUN LITTLE FILM SWEET

Joel: What is it with women? Y'know, they say they don't care about looks - they just want a guy who's smart and funny - but they always just end up laughing at whatever the good-looking stupid guy says.

Mike Judge of Office Space and Beevis and Butthead fame has put together a film that has slipped under the radar. It is nowhere as good as Office Space, but it is entertaining and worth the watch. Jason Bateman is Joel Reynolds, a pretty ordinary guy who happens to run an extract bottling factory. He is literally surrounded by characters; his co-workers, nightmare of a  nieghbor, wanna be dude best friend and seemingly frigid wife played by Kristen Wiig, who seems to act in almost everything right now. The comedy lies in the subtly and Bateman has just the right control over both. Judge is all about characters and this movie is in no short supply.