I'M STILL HERE... I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?

In September 2010 director Casey Affleck confirmed that this movie is not a real documentary, but fake. The public has been wondering ever since Joaquin Phoenix announced his retirement from acting in order to become a rapper in October 2008, whether it was all just an act or if it was for real.

Unfortunately, there is more to say about the controversy surrounding this film rather than the piece of work itself. Unless you were hiding under a rock, Joaquin Phoenix announced his retirement from acting to pursue a career as a rap artist and his brother-in-law Casey Affleck took the film it as a documentary. This was news. This was Britney Spears shaving her head kind of news. I think mostly judging by the way the actor started to look with his mangled beard and scraggly head of hair fueled by gossip, speculation and given almost no answer for his actions, the world simply thought that Phoenix had lost his mind. Now, knowing that the whole thing was a hoax, it is difficult to watch the film and take it as it was meant to be seen. Phoenix looks insane, acts insane and meanders around mumbling to himself. Many people thought that his performance was "genius", which I do not understand. Like any other actor, he was playing a part it's just that he was playing it 24 hours a day seven days a week. Curiosity got the best of me and so I turned on the commentary which proved to be much more enjoyable than just watching the movie alone. It was like listening to the cast of Jackass or a bunch of fraternity boys. What I did find out was how many people were in on the joke, how many stunts were planned, and how many times it took to film a certain scene. I think it was terribly selfish of Phoenix to take on this project while he was obligated to promote his latest film Two Lovers. It seems as though the joke may be on him, as it doesn't look like he has any current projects on the horizon, which is too bad because he is one of my more favorite actors.

EAT, PRAY, LOVE... PREACH, GLAMORIZE, SEND HOLLYWOOD MORE MONEY

What was this, the newest version of the Wizard of Oz? A woman who doesn't know what she wants has to travel to a distant land in order to find that she had the answer all along. I was shocked by Ryan Murphy's involvement with this as he is the mastermind behind Glee and Nip Tuck, two of my favorite television programs. Needless to say, this was quite a side trip from his usual fare. While I think it was a well written script it came off as too preachy and too rehearsed often times. I'm not a big Julia Roberts fan in general, but specifically I think that she was miscast in this film. However, all of the men that seemed to pepper her world where lovely and fitting. I know this is based on one woman's story, and I think it's both sad yet accurate that so many women have been able to identify with it. I know that movies are supposed to be filled with beautiful people, but that would have liked to have seen the same story with both actors and actresses who were not beautiful and lovely, as they are the target audience. I say save on the airfare, eat lunch at the Olive Garden and then go see Blue Valentine for a more accurate depiction of relationships today.

THE OTHER GUYS: THAT'S WHY THEY AREN'T THE GUYS



P.K. Highsmith: You have the right to remain silent... but I want to hear you scream!

In preparation for this year's movie awards season, I was lucky enough to recently take in a showing of The Fighter with Mark Wahlberg. I think he trained about five years or something to prepare for that role and although all the attention is getting paid to Christian Bale, Wahlberg showed a quiet strength in that film. However, The Other Guys, I don't know what he was thinking. The good news, is that the first five or 10 minutes of this film is actually kind of amusing. It mainly focuses on two hot shot cops, Samuel Jackson and Dwayne Johnson, Highsmith and Danson. These are the type of characters were used to, the ones with the funny one-liners, lots of testosterone, who take risks and literally put their lives on the line. Unfortunately, they cross the line which leaves a big gap, unfortunately a gap large enough for Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg to try to enter. Luckily their performances were flat enough, no chemistry between them, so that they could enter that gap. It might be a guy thing, but this was a pretty crude movie with lots of jokes about bodily functions. I find that the worst jokes are the ones that need explaining, and there were plenty in this film. I will admit to being amused to be song references constantly being tossed at Michael Keaton, who was the bright spot in this film. Keaton is the Captain of the squad where these detectives to work and his second job managing a Bed Bath and Beyond. In the bonus features there is an extended scene of Keaton in his managerial role as he addresses his employees and that was worth sitting through the rest of this film.

SALT: JUST A LITTLE PLEASE

Peabody: I'd say she's a trained goddamn liar, and everything she's said up until now has been to protect her cover.
Ted Winter: Why don't you tell me how you really feel about it.

Typically, my favorite kinds of movies are the ones with strong female lead characters. Considering I could probably bench press stick figure Angelina Jolie with one hand, Salt was less than thrilling for me. However, she proves to be quite the runner. See Angie run. See Angie jump on truck. See Angie run, kick some ass, shoot some guys, and run some more... it wasn't a bad movie per se, it was just rather bland for being named salt. Evelyn Salt is a product of the Cold War. If you watch carefully enough, you can practically see the moment when we know exactly what kind of agent she is. The thing is, that once we find out, we really don't care. This is more of a "big" picture movie where Liev Schreiber steals the thunder. The worst part of this movie is that they left the ending open for a sequel. Maybe by then they will be able to add some more spice.

EASY A: EASY GRADE TO GIVE THIS FILM

The rumors of my promiscuity have been greatly exaggerated.

Finally comes a smart film that does not talk down to its audience, although many of them are of high school age, but rather treats them with the respect that many of them, if not most of them deserve. A cross between Mean Girls and Saved, this film is definitely not your average boy meets girl boy loses girl boy in girl get together at the end and everybody lives happily ever after. Like 10 Things I Hate about You, the underlying tone of the script follows the story of the Scarlet Letter; "A is for Awesome". Emma Stone is Olive, our heroine who is smart, well spoken and has cutting sense of humor. Her parents are both supportive equally as entertaining (Patricia Clarkson and Stanley Tucci). One of the things that makes this film most refreshing the things that you think will happen don't, and the things that you don't expect to happen do. Olive's parents and their quirky sense of humor is definitely part of that. "Any friend of Olive's is a friend of my daughter." Rarely do I mention a writer, but Burt V. Royal deserves props for his work on this. This film was highly entertaining, so much so that I did have to watch it a second time. In a way, it is an homage to the films from John Hughes where teenagers are respected and not denigrated. I have a list of the films that I consider the best films of the year. Some are obvious, like Facebook, Inception, True Grit and the King's Speech. Easy A may not be an obvious choice, but it is my choice and I stand by it. Do not let this movie pass you by.

WALL STREET: MONEY NEVER SLEEPS... BUT IT DOES TAKES NAPS

It's not about the money. It's about the game between people.

For as much grief as I got for it, after watching the original Wall Street I changed my major from psychology to business. Truth be told, I was a miserable business student, flunking my first Econ test. After the glow of the movie had worn off some luckily I decided to return to psychology. Who knew that a bazillion years later Gordon Gecko would agree with my choice. Unfortunately, even though I made the correct decision, the decision to come out with this sequel was not. Certainly it was nostalgic at best to see Michael Douglas come back to us as this very enigmatic man who at the beginning of the movie has nothing. After the glow of that nostalgia wore off I should have made the decision to view another film. I'm not even sure a business major could have followed the extremely confusing trade talk that took up the first part of the film. It was difficult to comprehend who fit where and why and for how much. By the time the actual characters took shape, it was easier to follow but there was no motivation to do so. I was looking forward to seeing Charlie Sheen (probably the only time I will say those words) reprise his role as Bud Fox from the original film. However it was just not gratifying in any way and a waste of Sheen's time, which I think says a lot. Shia LaBeouf and Carey Mulligan just seem to to be along for the ride in Douglas's movie. Perhaps if I had stayed a business major I would've understood the movie better, that I think is a psychology major I made the right choice.

KNIGHT AND DAY: REALLY???? COME ON, REALLY???

If I had not been watching this movie with my friend Susy chances are it would not have even finished it, nonetheless made it through the first 10 minutes. There are so many bad things that I could tell you about this movie but you probably wouldn't believe me. There is absolutely no chemistry Tom Cruise Cameron Diaz, which is surprising what they showed in Vanilla Sky. The plot is unbelievable and treats the audience like they are brainless. Diaz acts just as brainless, until the movie plot needs her to all of a sudden become an intelligent and well trained super spy like Tom Cruise's character. There are one or two, clever pieces of dialogue but that does not make a movie. Be sure to look for this film at an awards ceremony, however, it will most likely be the Razzies.

I AM LOVE: E io sono innamorato di questo film italiano

There are so many good foreign movies, but I must admit to being terribly lazy because reading subtitles is hard work. I was fortunate enough to see this film, the work Tilda Swinton, a story about a repressed housewife, for lack of a better word. She has lived her life doing what is expected of her, for filling her role as hostess, mother, and executive in charge of her family's vast Italian villa. Sadly, amidst all of these roles, she has forgotten the most important part of all, and that is being herself. It is in this lush sensual Italian countryside that she finds who she is and what she wants and she is forced to make the decision to choose a new path. Tilda Swinton is an absolute elegant and strong actress and the result is striking.

SCOTT PILGRIM VERSUS THE WORLD:WINNER!

When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.

Hurray!!! Michael Cera gets to be a 21 year old now! I originally thought this movie was going to be videogame key or rather any other kind of geeks there are, but it turned out to be quite entertaining and fun film. It's not exactly what you would expect, it is quick and engaging to watch. Michael Cera's character, even though he is now "of age", is still pretty much the same old self-effacing wimpy kind of guy, but his character shows growth and by the end of the film we are all on his side. This is a movie I would definitely recommend.

THE LAST AIRBENDER: WHOOOOSH

No. Not for kids, not for adults, not for public comsumption. Drop me a line when you return M. Night Shamalamadingdong.

PS: I want my Redbox fee back.

DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS: THE MAIN COURSE IS SERVED


Barry: Vincent Van Gogh. Everyone said to him, "You can't be a great painter, you only have one ear." And you know what he said? "I can't hear you."

Contrary to popular opinion this is not the worst movie in the world, however it is not exactly the best movie in the world either. It's at times like these that I remind myself that not all movies have to be Oscar contenders and that it's okay to watch something that is silly unbelievable and maybe even borderline stupid. Sometimes, big surprise, I am entertained by stupid stuff. Basically, it's a movie, a "bromance" between two very unlikely men. Tim (Paul Rudd) is the ambitious, yet low man on the totem pole, generic executive worker whose coworkers decide to throw a dinner party. The objective is to bring the most "interesting" dinner guest. After literally running into Uber geek Barry (Steve Carell) and since of course he is an actual nice person at heart, he tries to help him at first, then turns to invite him to this dinner. This is not The Social Network, Inception, or True Grit. It does not even come close. However, there were some pretty funny moments, a lot of those coming from Thermon (Zack Galifianakis). Unfortunately Carell is nowhere near as funny as he is or rather has been with The Office. Despite my objections, I still thought this was a harmless bit of entertainment to partake in. But don't take my word for it, see it for your self and then let me know what you think.