HAMLET 2

HAMLET II: THIS IS NOT YOUR CHILDREN'S HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL!

T'was the night before Christmas and all through my place, the movies were playing, and this I embraced...

A failing drama teacher, Dana Marschz (exuberantly portrayed by Steve Coogan) has been told that the drama department, like the music and arts programs, has been cut due to lack of funding. So, as a final farewell Dana produces his opus and production has begun on the most hilarious and SO un-politically correct play to any school's date. This was a refreshing, unpredictable and fun movie: a cross between Saved, High School Musical and South Park. When faced with a stereotypical class, we find pleasant twists and turns than has been seen in movies like Dangerous Minds.

The characters these actors portray are priceless. Catherine Keener is Dana's bitch of a heartless wife. Amy Poeler an enthusiastic ACLU defender of the 1st Amendment and Elizabeth Shue, who we find working as a nurse to 'get out of the business'. The kids (probably in their early 20's) performed seamlessly. All of them were outstanding; you couldn't just pick one. This film was the most unconventional and I found myself laughing at the most crude, physical humor (no, not like Step Brothers). The melody of "Rock Me Sexy Jesus" playing in my head this eve of the birth of Jesus, will let you know where the smile came from. Not terrible clever for dialogue, but the plot and it's winding road combined with Dana's sheer enthusiasm make for good entertainment. Watch the way his body moves; reminiscent of a young Drew Carey. It looked so authentic and real. Charming.
PICK: A bit over the top and an excellent performance from Steve Coogan makes this a gem.

BURN AFTER READING

BURN AFTER READING IS FIRE PROOF

What a bunch of dorks, and that is meant in the best way possible. The Coen brothers whose NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN shocked and amazed us, pulled off another coup de grace in this film.

It revolves around a newly 'fired' CIA analyst (Maniacal John Malkovich), a fitness gym and a handful of their vacant employees (Frances McDormand and Brad Pitt) a few affairs and a lot of middle aged people in crisis doing dumb stuff. The movie was written with the majority of the actors in mind so to see them so well cast is not surprising.

George Clooney as Harry Pfarrer (having an affair with Cox's wife, the amazing Tilda Swinton) looks like he is having fun. He has been known for his pranks on fellow actors but here the joke is on him and he embraces it fully. Harry Pfarrer's obsession with staying in shape is probably an in-joke about Clooney's infamous weight gain for his role as a CIA agent in Syriana. Really delightful to see him not so somber. McDormand is a silly witless fool who keeps her eye on the prize; cosmetic surgery. Brad Pitt is her partner in crime, Chad Feldheimer who is perhaps the most dorky of them all. Upon meeting Cox, he uses the name 'Mr. Black' from the movie Meet Joe Black. He would have owned the movie had his fellow actors not been so high caliber.

It is difficult to keep track of who's what and with who when, but the movie wraps it up by the end. There are several shocking and very serious moments and it shatters the lighthearted dorky film into something more. Although it doesn't wallow in the serious, it is enough to give a startle and appreciate the craft of how well written this is.

The Coen's managed to make me gasp at No Country and I was close to doing the same here. We are disjointed and interconnected all at the same time; however, this film tends to focus on the more dull minded. Delightful romp of murderous fun. Be prepared for "strong language". "The word "fuck" is uttered 60 times, including 6 times in the first 2 minutes." From INDB.

PICK: Excellent work from conception to completion. Another Coen hit worth watching.

TURN THE RIVER

TURN THE RIVER TURNED MY STOMACH
Good grifter stories are hard to come by because you secretly never want to know exactly how good or bad they really are. TURN THE RIVER is a character study if ever there was one. Kailey Sullivan (beautiful Famke Jansen) is a shady character by day and hustler by night. Somewhere in there she is also a mother with no custody but wants to take her son and wander off into the sunset. Of course she needs money and of course since she is a pool player on the grift she will have some hustling to do. All the of courses are due in large part to the fact that we see all this coming. The end is predictable just as ever other part of this movie is. The problem is her character. There is little plot and less of anything else, so the movie rests on her head. Pretty as it is, the character never turns into someone we want to know and/or care about. Basically it makes for an overall lukewarm at best movie not worth the view. Rent The Grifters with John Cuscak, Annette Bening and Anjelica Huston instead.
NOT a pick: A character-driven film needs a solid character. Don't bother.

WANTED

WANTED... MORE ALIVE THAN DEAD

Hold on to your seats kids. Worker bee Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy) is sleep walking through his life. He has a cubicle at a job he hates, ("Wesley: Want to hear something sad? I use an ergonomic keyboard to keep my repetitive stress injury in check. Just the fact that I repeat something enough that it causes me stress is fucking sad. ") an unfaithful girlfriend and an asshole of a best friend. So one day, he's minding his own business when suddenly, Fox (Angelina Jolie), appears at his side, sexy and smooth, and then all hell breaks loose. Mystery man, Sloane (Morgan Freeman, as kick ass as ever) introduces him to a brand new world. Life in technicolor. Heavy metal, lock and load, this film is kick ass from start to finish. At the most minimalist of terms, it's the story of a young man who finds meaning in his life and makes the transition to manhood. McAvoy is perfect and believable Dilbert office drone as much as Jolie is a smoking hot babe who can and will kick your ass in a heartbeat. Terrance Stamp takes a small role and makes it big. Outstanding choreography help to make the stunts and fights look authentic. It is sleek and stylish, which add to the film, not detract. Unpredictably, the plot holds twists and turns that you never see coming.

BIG PICK: Sexy, stylish and thrill-a-minute, fantastic movie to experience. LOVED it!

STEP BROTHERS

STEP BROTHERS... KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY
I will pull no punches. This movie is riddled with obscenities, vulgarities and any other 'ities' you can name. It is crude, immature and offensive. That being said, I laughed my ass off. I literally have no more ass because the film took it from me. Another Ferell/Reily movie and I wasn't expecting anything much due to its short stay in theaters. Granted it is not for everyone, but along the lines of SUPERBAD, this movie teases you to guess what will happen next. I assure you, it is wasted effort. The story centers around two 40 year old men who still live at home with their parent. The parents marry leaving these two socially awkward and unbelievable men to deal with each other. Together they go through their ups and downs. There were scenes that made me gag and then others that sent me back to laughing. It is that fine balance that makes up for the absolute collision of a film. Be sure to watch through the end credits to see vengeance served and check out the Line-o-rama feature where the actors use alternative dialogue. I don't care if my "readers" think it's too over the top. It was; so suck it.
PICK: Finally a winning combination of these two great actors into one hilarious film.

TROPIC THUNDER

A MOVIE ABOUT SOME DUDES, PLAYING SOME OTHER DUDES WHO ARE DISGUISED AS SOME OTHER DUDES

This is Robert Downey Jr.'s movie hands down (deliberate pun for Nolte.)

Kirk Lazarus: Man, I don't drop character 'till I done

the DVD commentary.

And true to his word, he didn't. I listed to the film after watching it and RDJ stayed in character until the credits began to role and then he slipped into an Aussie Kirk Lazarus before finally speaking in his own voice. I can call this as 'his' movie because although Ben Stiller pulled through solid performance, he was directing too, so I imagine his thoughts were elsewhere. As well, not to let Jack Black fade into the background (not possible) and also lesser credited Brandon T. Jackson as rapper/actor Alpa Chino. That name in itself and the introduction to the other actor's previous work is pure genius and so close to home (Hollywood that is). It was an all-star cast and an entertaining look at Hollywood; specifically their power in and out of Hollywood. There are so many and yet so few things I can say about Tom Cruise playing a bloated, immoral agent who likes to dance. He mouth spewing expletives and full of spit sounded was too convincing. He looked different, but barely sounded different and that steely gaze of his eyes reminded you that this was just a silly romp of a role for him. If you don't laugh he will come to your house and mess you up... if he can reach that high. If he was going to do something it was going to be his way or no way. At least that's the impression I received from the commentary.

RDJ can do better than this, but I think he jumped in to have fun and his acting reflects that. It was a bit crude and sophomoric, and the comedic bits are scattered amongst the few pieces of "real" drama. Great bits from other stars and celebrities is the cherry on the napalm. Be sure to check out the "Viral Video" Ben, Robert and Jack made for the MTV Movie Awards. THAT was hilarious!

PICK: Silly and laughable, a much needed comedic vacation... that isn't a vacation at all, but a movie...but a good movie, that you should rent, unless you don't need a pretend vacation.

88 MINUTES

88 MINUTES= 88 REASONS NOT TO SEE THIS FILM
Oh, why list 88 when all you need is one. BECAUSE I SAID SO. Ok?! In 88 minutes: I could have cleaned my apartment, caught up with an old friend on the phone, get a manicure and a facial or simply sat on the sofa, watching my toes wiggle and ANY of these choices would have been more entertaining than this movie. Consider it a lengthy episode of Law and Order CI with Pacino as the guest star. So, Pacino is the typical forensic psychologist who has made catching serial killers his life's work as he molds young minds as a professor at a Seattle college. So blah, blah, blah, he plays a cat and mouse game with a killer who gives him 88 minutes to live. See Pacino run, dodge bullets, blah, blah, blah... and then the movie ends. This was a terrible, train wreck of a movie; entirely predictable and formulaic. Pacino looked like he just tumbled out of bed and onto the sound stage and then acts like he's sleep walking.

NOT a PICK: Waste of time, but if you must see it, use the library so you don't waste your money too.

BLOGGERS UNITE FOR WORLD AIDS DAY, 2008

On December 1st, bloggers from around the world will unite for World AIDS Day 2008.

It's obvious that there are so many movies made about AIDS: getting it, giving it, living with it and dying with it. Philadelphia Story with Tom Hanks is among the best. Angels in America, an epic movie about AIDS if there ever was one. Instead, I am going to talk about my own experience.

In the mid to late '90s I was a writer for a local entertainment magazine. I wrote about bands, conducted interviews, wrote a series of "how-to" make it in the industry. Then things became serious. The song by REM, "Everybody Hurts" turned into the title for my feature on suicide. "For One More Day" wasn't a song at all. It was the wish of a man I met who was dying of AIDS. Jonathan didn't practise safe sex; only later to find out his partner had lied to him about his disease. When we spoke he was angry, not bitter. He blamed himself for not being more careful. He had a drastic sense of humor. Nothing could put out his 'flame'. He was pleased with the article. He didn't want others feeling sorry for him. He wanted to inform. We talked for months after the article was published. He didn't want to see me because, according to him, he had become ugly. After a while the calls stopped and the number I had was disconnected. I like to think he moved back to Seattle to be with friends; his family all but disowned him. We both hoped that the article would inform others. He hoped for just one more day.

WAR, INC.

WAR, INC. ... WELCOME TO PLANET STARBUCKS

"When deep space exploration ramps up, it'll be the corporations that name everything, the IBM Stellar Sphere, the Microsoft Galaxy, Planet Starbucks." From Fight Club, by Chuck Palahniuk

IF you loved Fight Club, have a thing for dark comedy and sardonic wit and John Cusack then WAR, Inc. may just be the movie for you! There is no way to even attempt to describe the actual plot of the movie. John Cusack is Brand Hauser, a mercenary type who runs on hot sauce. He is sent on a mission to kill Omar Sharif, and from then on it just gets more complicated. What isn't complicated are the other actors: Marisa Tomei, Joan Cusack, Ben Kingsley, Dan Ackroyd and Hillary Duff. It's so much fun to watch Joan and John interact together onscreen and Joan owns her part loud and clear. This film is all over. One minute it's a comedy, then a romantic comedy then a drama then sci-fi... but all of it, in its jumbled mess works. Clear and concise statements about war. It's all in there and I loved it. There are explosions and "car" chases and drama and comedy and I loved it. However, it is not for everyone. You must appreciate sarcasm and understand subtle asides. The interaction with the Guidestar is clever enough on its own. So very clever and sharp.

PICK: Cutting wit and insane dialogue and story plot makes for a great thrill ride!

WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE YOUR FATHER

WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE YOUR FATHER?
For any man who ever had or has a father

"A parent and a child. The past and the present. Memories and secrets.

Can you know someone for a lifetime.... and not know them at all?

The life of a father. Through the journey of a son."

Parents are both idols and heroes at different times in our lives. We love them. We hate them. They are dreamily hypnotic and terrifyingly embarrassing. Colin Firth, in perhaps the best role to date, is Blake, son of Arthur (Jim Broadbent) who is dying from cancer. There have been all sorts of grown children helping their terminal parent and making that shift from adult to really an adult. This is perhaps the best one yet. The scenery is lush and green. We see Blake in different years of his life and his father's role during them. It is serene and gentle. Definitely a character-driven movie, each actor bringing their hearts and souls to breathe life into the characters (based on a real story). A subtle and graceful film.

PICK: Brilliant performances bring father-son story to life. Beautiful and moving.

TRANSSIBERIAN

TRANSSIBERIAN PICKS UP PACE
One of the most terrifying things that can happen when travelling in a foreign country is a display of social unrest, not playing by the rules, or rather, playing by their own rules. When travelling in France many years ago, the truckers and produce farmers both decided to strike. They did so, not with picket signs, but by "parking" on major roads, leaving no room to pass and too much time to ponder. Naturally, my first thought was, "but we're Americans!" We were stuck, Americans or not and that is the vulnerable feeling this film projects; except they add in guns, drug smuggling and murder. Woody Harrison does a fantastic average American tourist gag. Emily Mortimir is off the charts as his wife whose past drives her onto a very unusual path. Of course, the true star is Ben Kingsley as Grinko. Is he a good guy or a bad guy and just how bad are Russian bad guys? The ending gives big payoff where it is due and is satisfying. Cold weather. Colder villain.
PICK: Slowly works up to full steam and a wouldn't-have-guessed-it ending.

LEATHERHEADS

LEATHERHEADS SWELL PICK
What did people do on Super Bowl Sunday before there was even an NFL? This film presents the "birth" of pro-football in the 1920's. George Clooney not only directs this movie, but also portrays Dodge Connelly, the driving force that brought it all together. Renee Zellweger is the "love interest", Lexie Littleton who is very much a woman reporter in a man's world. She is sharp and quick and a great match for the fast talking, borderline con-man Dodge. John Krasinski is the "star" player of the team after he returns from the war with a larger-than-life hero's following. The lights sure shown bright on this film. The story plot is tight, dialogue quick and acting flawless. It is this kind of movie that reminds us what films were like before all the explosions, rapid gun fire and strong language. Admittedly, I am not a football fan, but the sub-plots and comedic, almost slapstick fun, is sure to be a clean choice for fans and non-fans alike.
PICK: One of few clean films that are sharp, funny and romantic. Nice treat.

DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN and THE LOVE GURU

DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN and THE LOVE GURU:
Special 2 for 1 review!

Is your glass half empty or half full? Depending on your taste for funny films, you might have a full glass or go thirsty with these two movies. I include them for their similarities. Both movies have stereotypical crude depictions of Israelites and East Indians. Both movies use humor that is crude, immature or offensive. Both have guest cameo appearances or "star power". SO, if you are easily offended, don't see either. If you appreciate silly, dumb or moronic 'humor', you found it here!

In Don't Mess With the Zohan, Israeli Special Forces Soldier, Zohan Dvir (Adam Sandler)grows weary of his life and decides to follow his dream of "making people silky smooth" aka hair stylist. He fakes his own death and comes to America to cut hair at Paul Mitchell. When that doesn't work out plan B ensues and Zohan finds a niche. The rest of the movie rolls slow and the ending tries to wrap itself in a neat red bow. Personally, it was bearable at best and funny in only 3 or 4 minutes of screen time. The star power in this movie is: Mariah Carey, George Takei, Chris Rock, Lainie Kazan, and most magnificently, John Tuturro.

Mariska Hargitay, Love Guru. Of the two, Love Guru was a much more thoughtful movie. There was the obvious comedy and then the more dry 'asides' . This film understood the comedic bar and pushed way past it. Mike Myers is Guru Pitka, whose goal it is NOT to be a poor man's Deepak Chopra. He is hired by Jane Bullard, YAWN (Jessica Alba) to help a hockey player get back his game. In an extra, Meyers said it was his way of combining the things he likes most: hockey and Eastern Religion. The story line is pretty weak, but it also has some pretty good jokes. We hear Samuel Jackson's voice over and as the camera pans, we find Meyers talking into the microphone set on "Samuel Jackson". Hands down, this movie belonged to Justin Timberlake. Yes, that's right. He was hilarious as a French-Canadian sexy hockey player. Jacques Grande: "Don't look at me with that tone of voice or I will punch you in the shirt! " It was worth the bad parts just to see his performance. Lastly, this movie rules for its star power: Ben Kingsley, Jessica Simpson, Kayne West, Deepak Chopra, Stephen Colbert, Mariska Hargitay, and Val Kilmer.

Let's face it. Neither film will end world hunger or cure AIDS. Neither film was so well done I wet myself. BUT, both films can be amusing if you have NO expectation of great film making. I enjoyed The Love Guru more than Zohan, but either work to distract from the election and all the silliness.

PICK: Even though I didn't care for either film, they were silly and entertaining to watch.

BOY A

BOY A... IS MORE LIKE 'BOY A+'

The main character in this story, Jack Burridge, (a brilliant Andrew Garfield) unfolds much like a blooming flower. Upon first glance, we know little of this vacant, awkward fellow. He works with his "mentor", Terry, (Peter Mullan) but we aren't sure of what's going on. Once he has begun this "new life" we begin to see the flashbacks. He has just finished serving a term for a crime he committed as a boy. Interwoven in the film is another plot as seen in flashback. We meet the young boy and see how events went so wrong to incur the wrath of the community. This is a genuine film that, if you make it through the heavy accents, shows the path the boy took and the one he attempts once out of jail. Garfield portrays a very mixed up young man and although this was his movie all the way, Mullan gives his heart and serves it up on a silver platter for us. We ache with him as well as celebrating this masterpiece of a functional contributing member to society. You can't take your eyes off the screen for a minute.

PICK: Fine film with heart, depth and sorrow. So worthy of watching!

CHAPTER 27

CHAPTER 27... WRONG BOOK, WRONG MIND, RIGHT MOVIE

"I believe in Holden Caulfield. And in the book, and what he was saying, what he was saying to a lost generation of phony people."

Mark David Chapman

"You either get tired fighting for peace, or you die." John Lennon

Jared Leto scares me. Where oh where did my love from My So Called Life, Jordan Catalano go? Leto OWNS this movie. Another Hollywood actor bulking up or trimming down to portray a real person, not just a character. Leto was Chapman. His voice struck me the most, a southern drawl that could have turned Capote-esk, but didn't. When Chapman took Lennon's life on that ill fated day, he took away one of our most outspoken and talented stars. Chapman's mind, his reasoning was slightly comforting to try to understand. For the most part, he was a very troubled man and it was a horrible event that changed lives as the Kennedy assassination. I don't feel any pity for the man, but it was a good representation of the event. Lindsay Lohan was also in this film for about 10 minutes. She lent nothing to the story and her "acting" was terrible. Hard to watch in some ways, but the other ways that were good and true made it ok.

PICK: A fantastic performance by Jeto in a heartbreaking time. Worth the watch.

THE HAPPENING

THE HAPPENING SHOULDN'T HAVE

Without giving away the secret in the movie, perhaps I can save one person from attempting to challenge my movie report. It is a very "green" movie and tries to make an important statement about how we live. The key word is 'tries', because it ultimately makes a movie that takes itself way too seriously and the message has little punch regarding the characters and plot. In the DVD extras, there was a piece where M. Night talks about how this movie was a "hard R" for it's graphic violence and how they thought it was crucial to the plot. Watch any Quentin Tarantino movie, even a bad one, and you'll get the same violence central to the plot. Long story short, re-rent The Sixth Sense and your money will be better spent.

NOT a pick: Nice try, but it didn't work. Go talk to a tree.

"Lisbeth Wheelehan"

THE SECRET

THE SECRET SHOULDN'T BE KEPT

An ordinary, average family, expected teen angst, mother daughter "issues" all is running normally until the accident. Mother (Lili Taylor) and daughter (Olivia Thirlby) are in a serious crash and both are rushed to hospital. Husband/father (David Duchovny) arrives and stands vigil between them, holding their hands until his wife goes into cardiac arrest. Freaky Friday was never so freaky. Mother/wife dies and their daughter wakes up, but it is the mother's soul who inhabits the body. It doesn't get much more Freudian than this. The film makers could have let this go over the top, but it is surprisingly less shocking than the description of the film may suggest. Duchovny and Taylor are strong performers. Relatively newcomer Olivia Thirlby takes the show. She is lovely and amazing. You can see Taylor's mannerisms when she is inhabited. Too bad these films fall beneath the cracks.

PICK: Well done and sharp acting. Don't keep this a secret.

IRON MAN

IRON MAN: "Give me a scotch. I'm starving."

"Is it better to be feared or respected? I say, is it too much to ask for both?"
"Lisbeth Wheelehan"
So as not to show any bias, for the record, I LOVE Robert Downey Jr. I have seen every film he has ever made. Iron Man is his time to shine. Through all the turbulent times he has gone through, little by little he proved that he was now stable and ready to work (Zodiac, Charlie Bartlett, Lucky You). Tony Stark/Iron Man fit Downey like a glove. Much like Batman and Bruce Wayne, Stark was a high profile man about town with more money than Oprah. After a life altering event, he decides to use his power for good, not evil and hence forth comes Iron Man. At that point, the movie takes a left turn right into a brick wall. Downey is still fine as are Gweneth Paltro (only kinda wasted as a background fixture, but also not a "girl") and an almost unrecognisable Jeff Bridges (who really shaved his head). However, the script, the plot and the ending just fell flat. I'm glad Iron Man had power, because the last part of the movie didn't. Until then, everything was high octane and full of testosterone. Even though I disliked the end, what I liked in the beginning was what will earn this flick a pick. Downey does a lot of improv so what you see is him, top to bottom. Not a masterpiece, but still a kick ass movie.

PICK: Not a perfect movie, but Downey colors outside the lines. A head-banging pick!

DECEPTION

DECEPTION DECIEVES US THAT IT IS A CLEVER FILM
Sometimes, after a movie I've just seen I'll linger to watch the credits. As I lingered over Deception, I noticed that Hugh Jackman was one of the producers and then it made sense; that's why this movie sucked. Vanity films are so not flattering and usually terrible. This one is no exception. Poor pimply faced Johnathan (Ewen McGregor) is an ordinary, nerdy accountant (read: stereotypical). Once he meets Lothario/playboy Wyatt Bose (Hugh Jackman) his world turns upside down. I was ready with this line, 'as the events twist like a rubber band, Johnathan gets in deeper and the plot twists and snaps back hard in his face.' Except the ending was left limp as an overused rubber band. The plot is repetitive and done better in other films (Mr. Ripley). The acting is okay, not a stretch for anyone. Michelle Williams (as Johnathan's true love) gives a sensual performance that I have not seen from her previously. It was a pretty film however it was not the passion-filled romp that it has been marketed as. Sure, there is sex and a few breast shots, but that's it and it's boring. It wasn't a horrible film, except the last 1/4 of the film needed to be faster and more clever. I was waiting for a twist or shock or surprise. It ended on a limp note for a 'provocative' film. "Lisbeth Wheelehan"

NOT a pick: Without a sharp and original script this movie is purely icing.

SAVAGE GRACE

SAVAGE GRACE... MORE SAVAGE THAN EXPECTED
WARNING: The images in this movie may cause blindness, paranoia, motion sickness, anxiety, depression and/or gastronomical distress. This film belongs to Julianne Moore as Barbara Baekeland and it's a shame that it was treated poorly due to its subject matter. Baekeland was a socialite extraordinaire, jet setting with her husband Brooks (Stephen Dillane) and their son Tony (Barney Clark/Eddie Redmayne). Brooks and Barbara live large by old money. She is prone to almost manic episodes of temperament while Brooks keeps it close to his vest. The movie begins with Tony as a baby and end with Tony as an impaired young adult. The one thing she could count on was her relationship with her son; unconditional and loving. As events unfold, it seems that they are two against the world and the world is winning. The movie is stylish, lush and ornate. Unfortunately, the characters are broken, depraved and indifferent. Moore presents a roller coaster of emotions during this film and was placed in some not to comfortable situations. It would have been easy to villanize Baekeland, yet Moore is able to find at least one hair, a thin strand of compassion, as misplaced as it was. The ending to this essentially one-woman monologue builds piece by piece until the last scene that I remind you, is not for the faint at heart. I myself can stomach a fair amount (Shortbus) but this made my arms hairs stand straight. When I thought it had reached the crucial scene, it was made more disturbing by the afterword on each character as the film was based on real life. How much love is too much and how much is too little?

PICK: Disturbing to watch. A period-piece delight and engaging and unusual story.

RUN FAT BOY RUN

RUN FAT BOY RUN IS WORTH TRAINING FOR

Gordon: Go on then, run!
Dennis: Isn't there some kind of like... special technique?
Gordon: Well... yeah... you put one leg in front of the other over and over again really really fast.

Dennis (Simon Pegg) likes to run; mostly figuratively than literally. He works as story security, but is much out of shape from smoking and living on the couch. Five years ago he ran away from his pregnant bride, Elizabeth (the lovely Thandie Newton). Since then, they have kept in touch as Dennis does his best to be a good father to his son, Jake. However, Elizabeth has moved on and is in a serious relationship with Whit (Hank Azaria). I have never seen a whiter American man portrayed to aptly than Azaria. Whit runs, and is planning on running in a local marathon, so to try to win Elizabeth back, Dennis begins to train for the marathon too.

This film has it's touching dramatic moments and even somewhat predictable scenes. The nasty, slap stick comedy is what made me laugh so hard I almost snorted diet Coke out of my nose. It has all the falls, farts and spatulas than one can handle. Pegg was in another fabulous movie, Hot Fuzz, that had similar gags, but owns this film. From laughter to tears in my eyes I enjoyed every minute of this film.

Big PICK: A love story/comedy/drama that will more than entertain you.

THE FALL

THE FALL CONQUERS GREAT HEIGHTS

Luigi: [reading from Evelyn's locket] My dearest daughter, never marry for money, fame, power or security. Always follow your heart.

Your ever loving father

Blue Bandit: It says all that on that little locket?

Luigi: Si

If you see one movie this year, I would ask that you chose this one. This is a golden fairy tale, along the likes of The Princess Bride with more sarcasm, dry humor more blood and death. The story follows an oh so sweet and heartbreaking little girl, Alexandria (Cantinca Untaru) , who is stuck in a hospital while waiting for her broken arm to heal. Curious as a bug, she wanders around, taking in all that she sees with her wide saucer-like eyes. She comes across a man, Roy Walker (Lee Pace) a stunt man who was injured while filming a movie. Thing is, his heart also broke and leaves him suicidal confused man. The two make a perfect odd combination. He tells her an adventure story, which introduces us to other characters, most having a place in the girl's real world, much like Wizard of Oz. The tale of the Blue Bandit begins, however, he makes her bring him things (like Morphine) so that he might be able to kill himself. It is cruel and so selfish of him, but she does not understand his ulterior motives and plays along to get more story. This film is magic. It is as visually stunning as it is full of life and adventure and love. It is NOT a predictable film and even makes light of that during the story telling. I was so enthralled by this film that I watched it again before returning it, which I rarely do. You will laugh and cry and hold your breath as I did toward the ending. The Fall covers a lot of territory and there are many ways the title fits the situations, as diverse as they are. A beautiful film; both visually and emotionally.

Big PICK: What a wondrous world this can be; to old and young alike. This movie broke my heart and reminded me how magical films can be.

SEX IN THE CITY

SEX IN THE CITY... THE SEVENTH SEASON

If you have not followed, cherished or watched the last 6 seasons of Sex In The City, stop here and look for another movie to rent. This movie is for die hard fans only. It follows a year in the lives of these four infamous characters. It's like closure. All the loose ends are tied up and although the ends are not necessarily tied nicely or cleanly, there is a certain satisfaction knowing how "it" ends; or should I say how Mr. Big and Carrie end. It's only a lackluster movie insofar as it stands alone. Without the background from the series the movie falls flat and almost offensively portray worldly women as having a passion for shoes and shopping. There are some "real" moments where the characters express their inner-selves, but only a few. It could have been edited and tightened up so as not to run for 2 and 1/2 hours and some of the "comedy" is what you would expect in a Seth Rogan film. I liked it because I was a fan of the show and lived vicariously through it. NOT a movie I would expect any heterosexual men to sit through. A potential fun fan gathering with plenty of Cosmos.

PICK: ONLY for serious fans of the series. Does not stand alone as an even mediocre film.

THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL

THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL KEEPS HER HEAD HELD HIGH

"In an age where a woman's destiny was determined by her father,

one sister followed the rules. The other defied them."

Who knew? I've been avoiding this film for fear of over acting and a puffy little plot untrue to the history that guided it. Alas, I was wrong. This was some kind of medieval soap opera. Boy gets girl. Other girl gets pissed. Girl's sister gets boy and the kingdom with a mint on her pillow at night. For the first part of the film, I couldn't tell which was the "other" Boleyn girl. At times it was both. For a period piece, the costumes and scenery didn't overshadow the actors. Both Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson kicked monarchy ass. One didn't overshadow the other, which is what I expected to see. I'm not saying this is a great film, but an entertaining one that didn't lose my attention. Worth a look.

PICK: Well done; an unexpected and pleasant surprise.

THE PROMOTION

THE PROMOTION DOESN'T COME SO EASY
This isn't a particular kind of movie. Sure, it's classified in under comedy, and some of it was funny (not enough though) but then they toss a few drama lines that don't make sense. Seann Scott and John C. Reilly are two men in the grocery business and there is only room for one at the top. As witnessed in Election, this film has the dark humor/comedy borderlining on politically incorrect stuff that dreams are made of. I wasn't compelled to the characters, their sub-plots or most anything in this farce. Stay in your place worker bees!
NOT a pick: Go clip coupons and watch Election again.

PAUL NEWMAN: RIP 9/26/2008

WESTPORT, Conn. (AP) -- Paul Newman, the Oscar-winning superstar who personified cool as the anti-hero of such films as "Hud," "Cool Hand Luke" and "The Color of Money" — followed by a second act as an activist, race car driver and popcorn impresario — has died. He was 83.

Newman died Friday at his farmhouse near Westport following a long battle with cancer, publicist Jeff Sanderson said. He was surrounded by his family and close friends.

MARRIED LIFE

MARRIED LIFE NEEDS A DIVORCE
All dolled up and no place to go. The mere power of the names acting in this film is enough to dazzle and entice, but that's it. It ends with the rental check out. A film-noir-ish style and great period costumes and props garner this film with much ado about nothing. Who's cheating on whom? Who knows they are cheating on the other's spouse? Who cares? Chris Cooper sleep walks through his role as the divided husband who wants to spare his wife (a wasted Patricia Clarkson) the news that he is divorcing her by killing her. And Pierce Brosnan is in it and Rachel McAdams tries really hard to look like Kim Novak. Did I leave anything out? It was entertaining, even in a mediocre, I've got nothing better to do on a rainy afternoon kind of way. The bad news is the ending. When a film comes with alternate endings it is a red flag that their work was not executed well enough to stay with just one. But in most all their alternates (and yes, there were several) the film flip-flopped from a lukewarm thriller to a hardcore drama. It just didn't work in ANY of those endings.
NOT a pick: Everything was set out to make the sandwich but someone had soup instead.

SON OF RAMBOW

SON OF RAMBOW "Make Believe. Not War."

I suppose it's not considered a good review when the first sentence contains the words, 'I wanted to like this film...'
This film is a story about friendships and the imaginable forces that lurk from behind a young boys wide eyes. I wanted it to make me feel something; something other than bored. There were several spots here and there where it was cute or heartwarming, but not enough from start to finish. My biggest compliment is to the film's musical content; a huge bonus for us 80-somethings. Aside from not meeting my high expectations, this is a friendly film with moments of poignancy and wonder.

PICK: Although not a great film, it is entertaining and worth the time.

THEN SHE FOUND ME

THEN SHE FOUND ME AND THEN SHE LOST ME AND THEN I FOUND HER AND THEN...
My first impression upon watching this much hyped film is that Helen Hunt looks like crap. I wondered if she did that on purpose so it really shows us her struggle, so she can look really good at the end of the film or maybe it's to prove her transition into directing, but no, she just looks like crap. This is an attempt at a story about motherhood and what it takes to be one. April (Hunt) hears her biological clock going off like a police car siren. Her adoptive mother dies and suddenly, the biological mother pops up out of nowhere and voila, instant mom. When dealing with men, clocks and mothers, the rest is not easy to summarize. It wasn't a great film, but it did hold my attention and the subtle nuances slipped in between the obvious biological clock/baby/mother and relationship jokes. I'm not sure I liked the ending, but you be the judge.
PICK: Not an obvious film, but provides a new insight into an age old tradition.

THE AIR I BREATHE

THE AIR I BREATHE IS FRAGRANT AND COMPELLING
"Sometimes risking everything is the only choice you have." -Pleasure

This film is magical and moving. By far, it is one of best movies I may have ever seen. Based on the Chinese proverb that divides life into four major emotions: Happiness, pleasure, sorrow and love. When put together they make a whole that defines life and our existence. Like the proverb, there are four story lines that fit together piece by piece. Alone they are interesting character pieces. When combined they tell a story of the human condition.

"No emotion, any more than a wave, can long retain its own individual form." Henry Beecher

Each character is named for their emotion. Forrest Whitaker is Happiness and begins the movie. He is a man who is afraid to breathe and apologizes for his very existence. Brendan Fraiser is Pleasure, a man who is anything but afraid and is able to glimpse the future. Sorrow, is Sarah Michele Gellar who has a name, Trista, which means sorrow. She is a pop star who is trying to escape her life. Kevin Bacon rounds out the stellar ensemble as Love, a doctor who loves with his very being. Yes, for a film that received so little reception, it has strong star power. I've not even mentioned the fine work of Andy Garcia, Emile Hirsch, or Julie Delpy. I watched this movie twice, a rarity. It moved me and struck a chord down deep that is the gift I love most about good movies. There was never a dull moment and when you see how each action sets up the next, the end product is a feeling of total satisfaction. How a film like this never received acclaim is shameful, but believable in a world full of Step Up 2 The Streets and Mirrors. The acting in this film is razor sharp. The story is well written and the plot is gripping. I was moved down to the bone.
Big PICK: Not a movie to miss. It is sharp, touching and well done across the board.

THE SECRET

THE SECRET IS A GOOD ONE TO SHARE

Almost all ages can remember one version or the other of Freaky Friday, the story of a woman and daughter who "switch" bodies and have to literally walk in the other's shoes. Here we have another Freaky Friday of sorts. This one is a dramatic one. Hannah Marris (Lili Taylor) and her daughter Samantha (Olivia Thrilby) have hit the normal progression in time when a teenager doesn't want her mother (or father) so close anymore. It's not cool to love your parents, so 'Sam' acts accordingly. They end up in a serious car accident; enter Dr. Benjamin Marris (David Duchovny) who finds himself standing between the two hospital beds containing his wife and daughter. His wife dies. It gets 'freaky' when his daughter regains consciousness and seems possessed by the spirit of Hannah. This could have gone so many different bad ways, but it didn't. Like the similar movie of years back, Birth staring Nicole Kidman, the implications hang above our heads waiting to "go there" but this one doesn't. It is amazing to be put in this sort of situation, for the most part, Dr. Marris. How do you treat your 'wife' when she is inhabiting the body of your daughter. Hello, Dr. Freud?! They cover a normal range of emotions and limitations in this situation for which there is no president, but they are covered well and believably. A very odd film, but oh, so well done. Trilby inhabits Taylor which in her first role, is awesome.

PICK: Different situation makes for an interesting film.

THE TRACEY FRAGMENTS

THE TRACEY FRAGMENTS DON'T MAKE WHOLE FILM

"My name is Tracey Berkowitz. Fifteen. Just a normal girl who hates herself." And she is not alone in the hate...

I confirmed my suspicion by checking with IMDB. This movie was released just before Juno hit. It was in "post production" for 9 months. Now we see her on the cover of the DVD and want to see more of 'Juno' but instead we get Ellen Page as Tracey. Tracey is having a fifteen year old version of a nervous breakdown, which happens to be every ten minutes or so. At first the images shot are so artsy and well, fragmented. It was a neat trick... until they used it all through the whole movie. At that point, I didn't care. The handheld camera work took me back to the same nausea I felt with the Blaire Witch Project. The plot is thin at best. Tracey runs. Tracey screams. Tracey rides the bus. Tracey goes to therapy. Tracey makes me want to bleed a slow and painful death as opposed to watching the end of the movie. It is a sluggish and damp, soggy excuse for a film.

NOT a pick: Go watch Juno again instead. Nothing redeeming in this film.

WHY DVD RENTAL CHAINS SUCK: AN EPIGRAM

WHY BLOCKBUSTER AND HOLLYWOOD VIDEO CHAINS STORES SUCK
Mind you, I understand why rental prices have increased steadily since Netflix came on the scene and changed everything. I cancelled Netflix after the second or third month because I could go through too many new releases and had to dumb down my movies in queue. So back in the stores renting for a few days despite the option of returning them 'whenever I want'. A GALLON OF GAS IS LESS EXPENSIVE THAN RENTING A MOVIE. Stew over that one a minute. It costs $5 (tax not included) to rent a "new release" at Blockbuster and $4.67 (tax included) at Hollywood Video. Mind you, their definition of "new release" has nothing to do with the actual release date. It is of my opinion that if these stores want to bring customers back to the store is to make them less expensive not more. I am grateful to the Pierce County library system and their taste in DVDs because they are free. It might take a while to get a newer movie, but it's free and still as new as the "new releases" in the stores. I've been hoping to attract movie studios with my blog in hopes of reviewing new to theaters movies, but nothing yet; everyone is a critic. Just food for thought because for every video you rent, a child in Bangladesh goes to bed with no movie at all.

SLEUTH

SLEUTH CUNNING MYSTERY
What a fantastic film!!! I'd put off watching it because I knew it would basically be Jude Law and Michael Caine acting together for an hour and a half and I wasn't sure I was up for that. I wish I hadn't waited. This is a remake of the 1972 version and lots of critics have their knickers in a twist about that. Fine, whatever, but don't miss the tree for the forest. (Caine played Milo in the prior version.) Without prior knowledge, I watched this film unfold before me showing two of the most outstanding performances I have seen. This may have well been Law's best work. He is on fire in this movie and you can feel every drop of sweat from his pretty little head. From the start, this was a game of cat and mouse. The difference was that they kept changing from cat to mouse and so on. It takes place in Andrew's estate (Caine) as Milo (Law- is it hot in here or is it just me?) is there to persuade Andrew to agree to divorcing his wife, who Milo is now intimate with. But it goes so much further than that. It is a duel between charm and intellect; young versus old. Things are not what they appear to be and by things, I mean every thing. Caine and Law play off each other like dancing a tango. It is a constant power struggle and even when it seems that one has the advantage, they really don't. Listen carefully as Milo asks "What's it all about?" which is the tag from Alfie, a movie that Caine starred in and Law tried to star in its remake. These are two remarkable actors and with clever dialogue, it makes for one edge-of-your-seat journey.
BIG PICK: One of the best films I have seen. Top notch and intense acting. Kudos.

THE BANK JOB

THE BANK JOB WORTH A MIL
If Ocean's Eleven had a baby with the Italian Job, you would get this film. Basically it's the fight between the small time crooks outwitting, or not outwitting the higher ups. A little hard to follow because there are only two "leads" that, at least, I knew of. There were two things I liked about this script, because we've all seen this story a million times over. I liked how the main character, Terry Leather (Jason Statham) is married with children. I didn't like the risks he took with them, that was unbelievable, but I do like how he is a different kind of thief. The second part is how the movie seems more realistic than most. There are no high-speed chase scenes or shoot outs; but there is definitely a price to pay and it is difficult to watch the payment. It's not a great film by any means, but a solid story nonetheless.
PICK: Super job from all actors and interesting plot twists.

FELON

FELON EARNS PAROLE FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR
Finally a realistic look at jail life. Wade Porter (an outstanding Stephen Dorff) is a common man. He is unthinkably sent to serve hard time and hard it is. He reflects the shock any one of us might feel in such a bizarre situation. Once the shock wears off, little by little he acclimates to the point where he is even lost by his own behavior. This film was set up to take the viewer on the same journey and as in any good film, it no longer feels like a movie. It feels like the sting of hard cold life. Then we have Val Kilmer. Bless his heart. He gained some decent weight for this role and the paps have been on him like white on rice. He is John Smith, the seasoned lifer. He wished for a death sentence, but instead got life, which he has to find peace with. The contrast between the two is powerful and so human. He has fought his demons and finds no answers to his questions. This is one of his more powerful performances to date. Interesting fact; most of the extras in this movie were actual prisoners or ex/current gang members. Watch the DVD extras.
Big PICK: Solid and stunning performances, script and direction. Well done.

SMART PEOPLE

SMART PEOPLE IRONICALLY DUMB

As much as I enjoyed watching Sarah Jessica Parker not be Carrie Bradshaw for once, I didn't think there was enough in this film to be attractive. Granted Juno, I mean Ellen Page, always gives a solid performance, but it wasn't enough to float this movie. The magic was totally lost on Quaid's role and frankly, I didn't like him. I have gravitated to the imperfect people for just those reasons, but not this time. The ending was forced and unreal. I expected a lot more from this movie, but it didn't live up to the hype.

NOT a PICK: Snooty, rude and implausible.

MISS PETTIGREW LIVES FOR A DAY

MISS PETTIGREW LIVES FOR A DAY AND WHAT A DAY IT IS!

The time is 1938 and Miss Guinevere Pettigrew (portrayed magically by Frances McDormand) has not only just received the axe from her current job, but from the employment agency altogether. By hook or by crook, she needs money and needs it fast. Through a serious of good timing and clever tactics (and sharp writing) she finds herself employed with a popular and very social American actress/singer Delysia Lafosse (Amy Adams). Adams oozes a sweet sexuality and is perhaps the most perky actress I can name. The best, however, is when her realizes her true self and acts accordingly. Beforehand, she was to juggle her many gentlemen callers and Miss P. acts on her feet. There are no guns/gangs/murders/and if any, not much foul language. I was truly amazed and happily surprised at the width of this film, and at its end felt very much engaged to the characters. It may have been for one day, but wow, what a day!

PICK!: Not many films are as sweet and genuine. Excellent plot, acting and directing.

SHORTBUS

SHORTBUS

MORE THAN TRANSPORTATION FOR THE 'GIFTED AND THE CHALLENGED'

"As my dear departed friend Lotus Weinstock used to say: "I used to wanna change the world. Now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity."

-Justin Bond."

Try to hang on past the initial scenes of masturbation, sex, fetishes, orgies and nudity. John Cameron Mitchell, who brought us Hedwig and the Angry Inch has come up with another hole in one. If we, as a culture, can sit through the horrors of Saw (1-27), Aliens, PS I Love You and the nightly news, then what's wrong with a movie with graphic nudity? This is not just another goofy romp through several characters intersecting plot lines. This is a movie that was intentionally made to ruffle some feathers by asking: is sex bad? On first glance the film is pure camp and the actors are doing their own improvisation. There are no "names" in the cast. No faces to recognise. We are tossed into the movie as we watch three plot lines unfold and midway through the movie you realize that these people are not just the sex acts they portray. Past the sex and nudity, both very real, are complex characters and not stereotypes. As there is much improv, there isn't anything very clever or new except for the approach of the concept itself. How hard is it to look for actors who will have sex on camera who aren't porn actors? One of which includes the making of the movie. Aside from being hard to cast, it was difficult to make due to its content. Even with the anticlimactic ending (had to do that) it turned into a film about people who have relationship issues regardless of their orientation. I was all set to slander this film, but I turned out to like it for the big picture and it engaged me to care about these messy lives. After all, aren't all our lives a little bit messy?
PICK: Not for everyone but also not pornographic. A film about sex which is okay.

DAY ZERO

DAY ZERO: (NO) FIRE IN THE HOLE
This is what happens when a potential film goes bad. Three buddies, Aaron, James and George (Elija Wood, Jon Bernthal and Chris Klein) have been drafted by the military since the draft has been reinstated. This is a drama because it deals with war and how it hits so close to our homes as Americans. Give me a break! What a piece of crap this is. Each actor trying to make their well rehearsed monologues come across as dialogue instead of speeches. If you survive the preachy politics and keep watching, you will see the predictable "development" of each character. Unfortunately it falls flat and mouth-to-mouth by Dr. McDreamy couldn't save it. The actors did the best they could and it still was lackluster at best. The two standouts were two of the supporting actresses, Ginnifer Goodwin and Alley Sheedy. Ginnifer was the wife of Klein who had survived a battle with cancer. Sheedy was the psychotherapist of Wood, who would file her nails or read magazines during his sessions. Both women were well acted and came off the page and had some life force. Overall, it was not enough to save the film, which wasn't enough to save our troops. [See also: Lions For Lambs]
NOT a pick: Political monologues do not a film make.

THE WALKER

THE WALKER NEEDS A CANE
"You've got to watch yourself; this is a brutal political climate. Whatever 'ruth' there was in this town, there's 'less' now than ever. -Carter Page III."

Some films are plot driven and some are character driven. This had a little of both and ended up muddied and shallow. 'Car' is played by Woody Harrelson, a man who escorts society women to social events. Unlike American Gigolo, this walking is just that; walking. Good thing too as Car also happens to be gay. The things that I couldn't shake was his thick Southern drawl. It's a mixture of the South and Truman Capote and not one I cared for much. So amidst the social functions, Car is a clever gossip; "just one of the girls" while meeting for their weekly game of canasta. In the gaps between, we witness Car's social life, his long standing partner and just how most of him is illusion. The movie plot, or lack thereof, is nothing different that you can see on any episode of Law and Order. So that leaves Harrelson's performance. He has the capacity to be magical and powerful but in this movie he is flat and stale. It is a departure for most of what he usually does, and could have been lauded for it, but instead will be listed as one of the "rotten tomatoes".
NOT a pick: Watch Capote again for a better film than this.

LIE WITH ME

LIE WITH ME... Too shocked for caption
Leave it to the Canadians to come up with such a blatant in-your-face movie that leaves you with the cold slap of amazement. Why? Because, even through this movie is "un-rated" it gives 9 and 1/2 Weeks a run for its money. There is sex, lots of it, and FULL FRONTAL NUDITY on all accounts. The only actor I recognised was the male lead, David (Eric Balfour) who was Clare's boyfriend on Six Feet Under. Lauren Lee Smith as Leila is unknown to me and delicately beautiful. Leila is a young woman dealing with being young, having flaws and trying to deal with the bumpy road of life. I was pleasantly surprised to realize that I wanted to see the end of the film and find out where the characters landed. This is a fresh, raw and very different movie for us Americans.
PICK: After the shock comes a reward. Not flawless, but still a strong film.

21

21 WINS HIGH STAKES

"I had a 1590 on my SAT, I got a 44 on my MCAT, and I have a 4.0 GPA from MIT. I thought I had my life mapped out, but then I remembered what my non linear equations professor once told me, always account for variable change... I let down my good friends, but as it turns out, they weren't too bad at simple math either. I scored the prettiest girl in school. I got beaten down by an old school Vegas thug who was having trouble accepting his retirement, but I worked out a deal with him that got him a nice pension... And I lied to my mother, but I confessed a lie and well, she still loved me... So my senior year of college I joined this team and I learned this new skill. I went to Vegas 17 times to use it. I made hundreds of thousands of dollars counting cards. And then I had it all stolen from me, twice... How's that for life experience professor? Did I dazzle you? Did I jump off the page?"

No need to summarize when the monologue from our main character, Ben (Jim Sturgess) does it for me. Think Ocean's Eleven meets the Breakfast Club. What could be easier than to be smart, count cards and win money? Well, I think we all know what happens to young people and big money. Ben is sucked into the high life faster than a Hoover with a fresh bag. We all know things won't last, but how they happen and when is still a mystery. This is a very well executed movie. It had an entertaining pace; not too fast and not too slow. Spacey does a lovely job as the charismatic yet deeply selfish professor who takes advantage of his wiz kids. Sturgess makes believable the wide-eyed, amazing naive "nerd" who turns into "McLovin" the pimped out mac daddy. Strong supporting cast, especially Aaron Yoo as Choi, who makes for good comic relief. No masterpiece, but certainly worth a look.

PICK: Well done; entertaining and fun to watch. Sturdy work all around.