HAMLET 2

HAMLET II: THIS IS NOT YOUR CHILDREN'S HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL!

T'was the night before Christmas and all through my place, the movies were playing, and this I embraced...

A failing drama teacher, Dana Marschz (exuberantly portrayed by Steve Coogan) has been told that the drama department, like the music and arts programs, has been cut due to lack of funding. So, as a final farewell Dana produces his opus and production has begun on the most hilarious and SO un-politically correct play to any school's date. This was a refreshing, unpredictable and fun movie: a cross between Saved, High School Musical and South Park. When faced with a stereotypical class, we find pleasant twists and turns than has been seen in movies like Dangerous Minds.

The characters these actors portray are priceless. Catherine Keener is Dana's bitch of a heartless wife. Amy Poeler an enthusiastic ACLU defender of the 1st Amendment and Elizabeth Shue, who we find working as a nurse to 'get out of the business'. The kids (probably in their early 20's) performed seamlessly. All of them were outstanding; you couldn't just pick one. This film was the most unconventional and I found myself laughing at the most crude, physical humor (no, not like Step Brothers). The melody of "Rock Me Sexy Jesus" playing in my head this eve of the birth of Jesus, will let you know where the smile came from. Not terrible clever for dialogue, but the plot and it's winding road combined with Dana's sheer enthusiasm make for good entertainment. Watch the way his body moves; reminiscent of a young Drew Carey. It looked so authentic and real. Charming.
PICK: A bit over the top and an excellent performance from Steve Coogan makes this a gem.

BURN AFTER READING

BURN AFTER READING IS FIRE PROOF

What a bunch of dorks, and that is meant in the best way possible. The Coen brothers whose NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN shocked and amazed us, pulled off another coup de grace in this film.

It revolves around a newly 'fired' CIA analyst (Maniacal John Malkovich), a fitness gym and a handful of their vacant employees (Frances McDormand and Brad Pitt) a few affairs and a lot of middle aged people in crisis doing dumb stuff. The movie was written with the majority of the actors in mind so to see them so well cast is not surprising.

George Clooney as Harry Pfarrer (having an affair with Cox's wife, the amazing Tilda Swinton) looks like he is having fun. He has been known for his pranks on fellow actors but here the joke is on him and he embraces it fully. Harry Pfarrer's obsession with staying in shape is probably an in-joke about Clooney's infamous weight gain for his role as a CIA agent in Syriana. Really delightful to see him not so somber. McDormand is a silly witless fool who keeps her eye on the prize; cosmetic surgery. Brad Pitt is her partner in crime, Chad Feldheimer who is perhaps the most dorky of them all. Upon meeting Cox, he uses the name 'Mr. Black' from the movie Meet Joe Black. He would have owned the movie had his fellow actors not been so high caliber.

It is difficult to keep track of who's what and with who when, but the movie wraps it up by the end. There are several shocking and very serious moments and it shatters the lighthearted dorky film into something more. Although it doesn't wallow in the serious, it is enough to give a startle and appreciate the craft of how well written this is.

The Coen's managed to make me gasp at No Country and I was close to doing the same here. We are disjointed and interconnected all at the same time; however, this film tends to focus on the more dull minded. Delightful romp of murderous fun. Be prepared for "strong language". "The word "fuck" is uttered 60 times, including 6 times in the first 2 minutes." From INDB.

PICK: Excellent work from conception to completion. Another Coen hit worth watching.

TURN THE RIVER

TURN THE RIVER TURNED MY STOMACH
Good grifter stories are hard to come by because you secretly never want to know exactly how good or bad they really are. TURN THE RIVER is a character study if ever there was one. Kailey Sullivan (beautiful Famke Jansen) is a shady character by day and hustler by night. Somewhere in there she is also a mother with no custody but wants to take her son and wander off into the sunset. Of course she needs money and of course since she is a pool player on the grift she will have some hustling to do. All the of courses are due in large part to the fact that we see all this coming. The end is predictable just as ever other part of this movie is. The problem is her character. There is little plot and less of anything else, so the movie rests on her head. Pretty as it is, the character never turns into someone we want to know and/or care about. Basically it makes for an overall lukewarm at best movie not worth the view. Rent The Grifters with John Cuscak, Annette Bening and Anjelica Huston instead.
NOT a pick: A character-driven film needs a solid character. Don't bother.

WANTED

WANTED... MORE ALIVE THAN DEAD

Hold on to your seats kids. Worker bee Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy) is sleep walking through his life. He has a cubicle at a job he hates, ("Wesley: Want to hear something sad? I use an ergonomic keyboard to keep my repetitive stress injury in check. Just the fact that I repeat something enough that it causes me stress is fucking sad. ") an unfaithful girlfriend and an asshole of a best friend. So one day, he's minding his own business when suddenly, Fox (Angelina Jolie), appears at his side, sexy and smooth, and then all hell breaks loose. Mystery man, Sloane (Morgan Freeman, as kick ass as ever) introduces him to a brand new world. Life in technicolor. Heavy metal, lock and load, this film is kick ass from start to finish. At the most minimalist of terms, it's the story of a young man who finds meaning in his life and makes the transition to manhood. McAvoy is perfect and believable Dilbert office drone as much as Jolie is a smoking hot babe who can and will kick your ass in a heartbeat. Terrance Stamp takes a small role and makes it big. Outstanding choreography help to make the stunts and fights look authentic. It is sleek and stylish, which add to the film, not detract. Unpredictably, the plot holds twists and turns that you never see coming.

BIG PICK: Sexy, stylish and thrill-a-minute, fantastic movie to experience. LOVED it!

STEP BROTHERS

STEP BROTHERS... KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY
I will pull no punches. This movie is riddled with obscenities, vulgarities and any other 'ities' you can name. It is crude, immature and offensive. That being said, I laughed my ass off. I literally have no more ass because the film took it from me. Another Ferell/Reily movie and I wasn't expecting anything much due to its short stay in theaters. Granted it is not for everyone, but along the lines of SUPERBAD, this movie teases you to guess what will happen next. I assure you, it is wasted effort. The story centers around two 40 year old men who still live at home with their parent. The parents marry leaving these two socially awkward and unbelievable men to deal with each other. Together they go through their ups and downs. There were scenes that made me gag and then others that sent me back to laughing. It is that fine balance that makes up for the absolute collision of a film. Be sure to watch through the end credits to see vengeance served and check out the Line-o-rama feature where the actors use alternative dialogue. I don't care if my "readers" think it's too over the top. It was; so suck it.
PICK: Finally a winning combination of these two great actors into one hilarious film.

TROPIC THUNDER

A MOVIE ABOUT SOME DUDES, PLAYING SOME OTHER DUDES WHO ARE DISGUISED AS SOME OTHER DUDES

This is Robert Downey Jr.'s movie hands down (deliberate pun for Nolte.)

Kirk Lazarus: Man, I don't drop character 'till I done

the DVD commentary.

And true to his word, he didn't. I listed to the film after watching it and RDJ stayed in character until the credits began to role and then he slipped into an Aussie Kirk Lazarus before finally speaking in his own voice. I can call this as 'his' movie because although Ben Stiller pulled through solid performance, he was directing too, so I imagine his thoughts were elsewhere. As well, not to let Jack Black fade into the background (not possible) and also lesser credited Brandon T. Jackson as rapper/actor Alpa Chino. That name in itself and the introduction to the other actor's previous work is pure genius and so close to home (Hollywood that is). It was an all-star cast and an entertaining look at Hollywood; specifically their power in and out of Hollywood. There are so many and yet so few things I can say about Tom Cruise playing a bloated, immoral agent who likes to dance. He mouth spewing expletives and full of spit sounded was too convincing. He looked different, but barely sounded different and that steely gaze of his eyes reminded you that this was just a silly romp of a role for him. If you don't laugh he will come to your house and mess you up... if he can reach that high. If he was going to do something it was going to be his way or no way. At least that's the impression I received from the commentary.

RDJ can do better than this, but I think he jumped in to have fun and his acting reflects that. It was a bit crude and sophomoric, and the comedic bits are scattered amongst the few pieces of "real" drama. Great bits from other stars and celebrities is the cherry on the napalm. Be sure to check out the "Viral Video" Ben, Robert and Jack made for the MTV Movie Awards. THAT was hilarious!

PICK: Silly and laughable, a much needed comedic vacation... that isn't a vacation at all, but a movie...but a good movie, that you should rent, unless you don't need a pretend vacation.

88 MINUTES

88 MINUTES= 88 REASONS NOT TO SEE THIS FILM
Oh, why list 88 when all you need is one. BECAUSE I SAID SO. Ok?! In 88 minutes: I could have cleaned my apartment, caught up with an old friend on the phone, get a manicure and a facial or simply sat on the sofa, watching my toes wiggle and ANY of these choices would have been more entertaining than this movie. Consider it a lengthy episode of Law and Order CI with Pacino as the guest star. So, Pacino is the typical forensic psychologist who has made catching serial killers his life's work as he molds young minds as a professor at a Seattle college. So blah, blah, blah, he plays a cat and mouse game with a killer who gives him 88 minutes to live. See Pacino run, dodge bullets, blah, blah, blah... and then the movie ends. This was a terrible, train wreck of a movie; entirely predictable and formulaic. Pacino looked like he just tumbled out of bed and onto the sound stage and then acts like he's sleep walking.

NOT a PICK: Waste of time, but if you must see it, use the library so you don't waste your money too.

BLOGGERS UNITE FOR WORLD AIDS DAY, 2008

On December 1st, bloggers from around the world will unite for World AIDS Day 2008.

It's obvious that there are so many movies made about AIDS: getting it, giving it, living with it and dying with it. Philadelphia Story with Tom Hanks is among the best. Angels in America, an epic movie about AIDS if there ever was one. Instead, I am going to talk about my own experience.

In the mid to late '90s I was a writer for a local entertainment magazine. I wrote about bands, conducted interviews, wrote a series of "how-to" make it in the industry. Then things became serious. The song by REM, "Everybody Hurts" turned into the title for my feature on suicide. "For One More Day" wasn't a song at all. It was the wish of a man I met who was dying of AIDS. Jonathan didn't practise safe sex; only later to find out his partner had lied to him about his disease. When we spoke he was angry, not bitter. He blamed himself for not being more careful. He had a drastic sense of humor. Nothing could put out his 'flame'. He was pleased with the article. He didn't want others feeling sorry for him. He wanted to inform. We talked for months after the article was published. He didn't want to see me because, according to him, he had become ugly. After a while the calls stopped and the number I had was disconnected. I like to think he moved back to Seattle to be with friends; his family all but disowned him. We both hoped that the article would inform others. He hoped for just one more day.