THE UNINVITED

THE UNINVITED... MAYBE THEY SHOULD HAVE CALLED FIRST
Yes, another knock off from an Asian original. Simply, Hollywood should end this practise now. Japan, China and now Korean are steeped in their own cultures and each object or person, most times, was based on cultural meaning that is only relevant to them. Then we Americans get up and try to do a remake based on story alone and it seems to get all tangled up. When will the maddness end?! It isn't bad for us to try to branch out. It's just more pieces would fit together in their own cultural reference point.

That being said, the movie is set in a small town and on this day, Anna (Emily Browning) has just been released from a mental institution after a breakdown she suffered at the time of a terrible fire and the death of her invalid mother. She's happy to be back with her sister, but doesn't like the new addition of Rachel (Elizabeth Banks) her father's new girlfriend. From there, dark shadows threaten, doors slam, nightmarish dreams and her new "mommy-to-be" all taunt and threaten to return Anna to her previous mental breakdown. At least she has her sister to help.

This film feels like the viewer is expected to be scarred here, relieved here and then frightened... now. It's forced and just pretty boring.
This Bites: Rent the original

JUNE 25, 2009

RIP: MICHAEL JACKSON AND FARRAH FAWCETT


I'm still in shock. Before all the craziness and the paparazzi... Jackson made music that touched people all over the world. I remember liking him for his music and no one cared about his eccentricities. He was a true star and talent. He will be missed.


Fawcett's famous picture was on my older brother's wall and she was just the best thing since sliced cheese. While at recess there were fights over who "got to be" Jill (her character in Charlie's Angels). She was a beautiful actress and many have said her videotaped log kept during her cancer put a face on the disease. It's a sad day.

TAKEN

TAKEN: A GRIPPING THRILL

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

Brian Mills (Liam Neeson) is one bad ass mother f*@#*!. Do not mess with him if you want to keep your life. On the surface, he appears to be an ordinary man with a irritating ex-wife, spoiled daughter and long time friend. That is, until his daughter is abducted. Then this seemingly harmless man resorts back to his old ways as an expertly trained secret agent. And that's just the beginning. He's the type of guy who can diffuse a bomb with chewing gum and a paper clip without breaking a sweat. He is calm and methodical, taking the time to notice the little clues in hopes of locating his abducted daughter. The result is a dad who turns on the bad ass mode and we're all lucky enough to join the ride. Taken is very well written. There are enough comical moments as there are kick ass hold your breath moments. It is sleek and stylish and makes a total film gift package without the bow. It can be hard to watch things blow up or get beaten that it gets difficult to suspend your attachment to reality. Not so here. No, it's not probable that this would happen. It is plausible that this could happen.

BIG BITE: Watch this film.

LAST CHANCE HARVEY

LAST CHANCE HARVEY WORTH ANOTHER CHANCE

Harvey Shine (Dustin Hoffman) isn't the most successful man in life. In fact, the older he gets, the more the important things slip away; his now ex-wife, his job and now, on the eve of her wedding, his daughter. He's kind of a please-and-thank-you man. No waves, no stirring of the pot, not even as much as a whimper. He heads to London to the wedding, waiting for an important call back about the last jingle he has written. As he finds himself cast off from the 'new' nuclear family; which involves his ex's new husband and his daughter's 'new dad'). He almost melts down into a pool of despair and then he meets Kate (Emma Thompson). Thus begins the hint of a romance at in addition, Harvey finds his self-esteem. This is a typical Yankee man who lives his life around work instead of relationships. The transition he makes from wimp to super man; kind of. His "super man" is just a regular man who has found that he can be assertive, a rebel, and a man who takes from life rather than a spectator. It's a movie about real people, real relationships and real triumph.

BITE: Slow to build, but very fulfilling character drama.

THE LIFE BEFORE HER EYES

THE LIFE BEFORE HER EYES: BEAUTIFUL AND FULL

I'll be honest. This is a 2007 film that I never wanted to watch. Despite my love of Uma, and utter contempt for Evan Rachel Wood and never liked her acting beyond what she did in Thirteen; until now. There are too many ways to spoil the ending, so I tread lightly. Both actresses portray Diana; young and older. The younger Diana (Wood) is somewhat the typical teenager aside from some provocative tendencies. Her best friend, Maureen (Eva Amurri) is more naive than Diane, but they remain best friends. Then we meet "Diane", Uma Thurman who even though a little too easy to startle, seems like the younger Diane. After a while some strange things start to happen and Diana travels to her past in memory. From here on in, I stop. There are more flashbacks and with each one we discover why Diana is so jumpy. Uma Thurman was nothing less than remarkable. I can not recall a movie where she plays such a serious role. Surprisingly, Wood was also prepared for her role and did so in a not-too-obvious way. This is the only movie that I have seen that portrayed random high school violence and I felt it as the back of the hairs on my neck stand up.

BIG BITE: Very serious and sit on the edge of your seat kinda flick.

RAMEN GIRL

RAMEN GIRL NOT SERVED HOT
It wasn't a terrible film. If you can choke down how extremely naive and/or dumb Abby (Brittany Murphy) is then maybe it's your film. This particular American "girl" has set out to join her boyfriend in Japan, but instead gets a Kimono upside her head. After a while of self pity, she sets out to a local ramen house and it makes her so happy that she decides to stay in Japan (without knowing the language or anyone) and train to be a ramen chef. It wouldn't have been so terrible except Murphy is over the top American apple pie with a side of sparkle. The story was compelling and her Sensi, Toshiyuki Nishida, was equally complex and entertaining.
Nibble: Sorry to use the verbage, but a definite "chick flick".

QUICK BITE: FLASH OF GENIUS

FLASH OF GENIUS FEELS LIKE A KNIFE TO THE HEART

There are no tornado's, explosions, knife fights or extortion schemes in this movie. Instead, this is a film about an extraordinary man, Bob Kerns (Greg Kinnear) and his battle with big business to just do the right thing. He and his wife and their children live a suburban life with the normal life and so on. However, struck by a problem with this car, he is ignited to design an alternative method and thus begins the complications.He is a 'nice' guy and half-heartily accepts the word from Ford to use his design. However that falls through and he gets screwed in the process. Excellent acting by Kinnear. The good part is that the film doesn't place him on a pedestal. He can be an asshole and we're shown that which I find noteworthy. Many actors, fine jobs, but the one thing that stands out in this whole folly of litigation is what's fair. It is not an easy conclusion because little by little you see this man being scammed and abused and it hurts. How is it fair that Ford steals his idea and won't share the wealth? Doesn't matter. Kerns wants his credit, not money. It wasn't face paced and at times a little tedious, but is sure had a rightful ending.
BITE: Even if show, this is a fine film with Kinnear battling with the best.

BRIDE WARS

BRIDE WARS: CREATIVE REVENGE SERVED COLD

Emma: [to Liv] Your wedding's gonna be huge, just like your ass at prom.

Liv: Your wedding can suck it.

Liv: If I were your wedding, I'd be sleeping with one eye open...

"Bridezilla" has found itself into today's lingo, citing how the overwhelming feelings/thoughts and/or opinions brides get before their actual wedding. Emma and Liv, as children, planned for the most special day a girl can have; her wedding. So the women stay close in their friendship and concurrently become engaged. Hear me now, this wasn't a particularly good movie and too many things don't make sense. Men should not view this movie else wise they'd be blind grooms. So, that being said, it was an okay movie. It was like a woman's War Of The Roses. Both Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson were funny. The both had great comedic timing and worked very well together. Sure, it was a bit over the top at times, but when they got down to it. Men come and go, but women's friendships are forever.

BITE: Not Mensa, but entertaining and fun.

RIP David Carradine aka: Caine, Bill

Bangkok (AP) - Actor David Carradine, star of the 1970s TV series "Kung Fu" who also had a wide-ranging career in the movies, has been found dead in the Thai capital, Bangkok.

Carradine was born John Arthur Carradine in Hollywood, but changed his name to David after launching his acting career following a course in drama at San Francisco State University. He appeared in dozens of films and TV dramas but was best known for his roles as Kwai Chang Caine in the 1970s series Kung Fu and as the title character from Quentin Tarantino's martial arts movies Kill Bill Vols. 1 & 2.

A spokesman for the U.S. Embassy, Michael Turner, confirmed the death of the 72-year-old actor. He said the embassy was informed by Thai authorities that Carradine died either late Wednesday or early Thursday, but he could not provide further details out of consideration for his family.

Quick Bite: Passengers

PASSENGERS: IT'S ABOUT THE JOURNEY, NOT THE DESTINATION

I see dead people. I also see this film being the product of combining Fearless and any M. Night Shamalamadingdong movie. It wasn't awful. Anne Hathaway is Claire Summer, a therapist assigned to treat the survivors of a recent plane crash. We see her treat her patients and without giving much more away, suspicious instances start to occur. I am a huge fan of the 1993 drama, Fearless which also deals with the aftermath of a crash. However, Fearless is a much better picture with much more of a satisfactory ending. Nonetheless, Passengers is a decent thriller/suspense movie with a twist at the end.

BITE: Not my favorite, but it held my attention and I couldn't have predicted the ending.

QUICK BUTE: SHUTTER

SHUTTER: A TRUE KODAK MOMENT

What the Ring did for TV, Shutter does for photographs. A remake, this film has nothing new to offer. We meet a newly wedded couple who move to Japan for his career. The husband immerses himself in his new job while the wife spends the day shopping and being terrified by ghosts. The supernatural world hosts a party entertaining the wife. No blood and guts, but still scary. This film was not screened for critics; the kiss of death.

Bite me: Not great, but enough of a scary movie to satisfy that itch.

Quick Bite: The Wrestler

THE WRESTLER: GOOD ACTOR, SAD CHARACTER

You would think we were well versed in come backs by now. Still, what an amazing job Mickey Roarke do as an actor. Seems like he was nominated for every award possible, appropriately so. Randy 'The Ram' Robinson is a down on his luck professional wrestler. The women in his life are barely in his life. Marisa Tomei is Cassidy, a "hooker with a heart of gold" except that she is neither. Evan Rachel Wood is Randy's daughter who is now almost an adult and pissed at him for his absence. A series of events lead Randy to the edge, where all he has to do is jump. Aside from the too long and forced diatribe at the end of the film, it was one of the best comebacks and films I have seen.

Bite: Aren't we all looking for our 15 minutes of fame? Well worth watching.

QUICK BITE: DOUBT

DOUBT, BACK TO THE BASICS

Before there was CGI and explosions and blood and guts there was acting, pure and simple. This is a bit of a drab movie, packing a huge emotional punch and an unlikely ending. Meryl Streep, Amy Adams, Viola Davis and Philip Seymour Hoffman go to battle over ethics, suspicion and right versus wrong. The gray in this movie is only lightened by the vibrant cast.

Bite: Excellent acting with a heavy hitting cast. Worthwhile X 10.

THE WACKNESS

THE WACKNESS: DON'T JUDGE A MOVIE BY ITS NAME

It is 1994, which doesn't feel like a long way ago. When you see the details put together in this touching and heartfelt film, the nostalgia 'smells like teen spirit'. It was the year Kurt Cobain died. The year when everyone had a pager, not a phone. Luke Shapiro (Josh Peck) is a high school senior who has just graduated and now spends the summer at home. Oh yeah, he is also a major marijuana dealer. Luke forms an unlikely relationship with a school mate's step father, Dr. Jeffrey Squires (Ben Kingsley) who trades therapy (and a bit of wisdom) for pot.

Dr. Squires: "Certain people you just can't trust, you know Luke?

Never trust anyone who doesn't smoke pot or listen to Dylan.

Never trust anyone who doesn't like the beach.

Never, EVER, EVER trust anyone who says they don't like dogs!

You meet someone who doesn't like dogs you alert the authorities IMMEDIATELY and you sure as SHIT don't MARRY THEM!"

Kingsley is magic. His character is so human and vulnerable as is Josh Peck. They form a bond in efforts to help the other; providing support. Dr. Squires wants Luke to experience it all knowing that although painful, living life open and willing is the best medicine. This is Luke's coming of age story and possibly Dr. Squires mid-life crisis. Both actors play off each other so well. Their acting is seamless. I'm having "mad love" for Ben Kingsley. He could have made his character so far out that it wouldn't be believable or credible and it is both. He is amazing and compelling to watch. I thought that Famke Jannsen was a waste in a sub-plot, but otherwise was delightful. Give this movie a chance and learn for yourself what the "Wackness" means. Enjoy your trip back to 1994.
BIG BITE: Touching coming of age story. Very well acted and likable characters.

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL- Quick Bite

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL: GREEN REMAKE

The last thing the world needs is another baby Will Smith (Jaden Smith). The second last thing we need is a remake of an already awesome movie. I will admit that Keanu Reeves makes a totally believable alien. If anyone, that was his role. With all possible effects, this film fell short of anything but bland. It was very dark followed by a thunderstorm of preaching on how we are all killing the earth. Yawn. Stop using plastic bottles and please stop casting Jaden Smith in anything else. Will Smith is money. Can't he let his child just be another kid?
BITE ME: Not enough that could have been better. Remakes and books-to-movies seldom works.