ICE CASTLES

ICE CASTLES ARE EASILY BROKEN WHEN REMADE POORLY

If I sued remakes based on how terrible they were, I would be a rich woman. Going into the preliminaries I knew it would not be a good film. There was no star power, in fact, the lead, Lexi (Taylor Firth) is an ice skater NOT an actress... and it shows. The original Ice Castles wasn't Gone With The Wind, but it was simple and dopey and magical and romantic and had Robby Benson and Colleen Dewhurst and Tom Skerritt and you rooted for Lexi both before and after she got injured. There was chemistry between Nick and Lexi.

Nick Peterson: Here. There's a hand in front of you. Grab it.

Alexis Winston: What are you doing here?

Nick Peterson: [affectionately] Came to see you break your ass.

Alexis Winston: Can't see you very well. I don't know if you're kidding.

Nick Peterson: Just listen to my voice. I'm not kidding.

So much of a lack of a bite it's impossible to say: See the original. Cheesy, but so much better and romantically rewarding.

EXTRACT

EXTRACT MAKES FUN LITTLE FILM SWEET

Joel: What is it with women? Y'know, they say they don't care about looks - they just want a guy who's smart and funny - but they always just end up laughing at whatever the good-looking stupid guy says.

Mike Judge of Office Space and Beevis and Butthead fame has put together a film that has slipped under the radar. It is nowhere as good as Office Space, but it is entertaining and worth the watch. Jason Bateman is Joel Reynolds, a pretty ordinary guy who happens to run an extract bottling factory. He is literally surrounded by characters; his co-workers, nightmare of a  nieghbor, wanna be dude best friend and seemingly frigid wife played by Kristen Wiig, who seems to act in almost everything right now. The comedy lies in the subtly and Bateman has just the right control over both. Judge is all about characters and this movie is in no short supply.

PUBLIC ENEMIES

PUBLIC ENEMIES... 2 QUALITY HOURS OF JOHNNY DEPP

Melvin Purvis: What keeps you up nights, Mr. Dillinger?

John Dillinger: Coffee.

This is a story of a love affair between the law and public enemy number one, John Dillinger. Even though we know how the players in this story end up, it still is an interesting historical piece from Michael Mann's viewpoint. John Dillinger was a celebrity in his day. Women wanted him and men wanted to be like him, except for the men of the FBI.

WHIP IT

WHIP IT CRACKING GOOD FILM

"Whip It" was written by Shauna Cross, a former Roller Derby skater with the Los Angeles Derby Dolls. Cross skated under the name Maggie Mayhem with a team of rouge cops called the Sirens. Many of the teams, skaters, names and plot lines were inspired by Cross' time with the Derby Dolls. IMDB

Whip It is Drew Barrymore's directorial debut and she does a damn fine job. Bliss Cavendar (Ellen Page) is a Texas debutant who doesn't quite fit into the pagent circuit to the dismay of her mother. She pretty much plain old doesn't fit anywhere until she discovers roller derby.

WORLD'S GREATEST DAD

WORLD'S GREATEST DAD GREAT MOVIE

Claire: So, do you play sports?

Kyle: No, I'm a big spaz like my dad.
Lance Clayton: Well, I was in the dive team in college.

Kyle: Diving's not really a sport, it's falling.

Written and directed by Bobcat Goldthwait, this clever and original film has brain and beauty. Filmed in Seattle, Robin Williams is Lance Clayton, a single father and a teacher living a quiet existance with his dickhead of a son, Lyle.

GHOSTS OF GIRFRIEND'S PAST

GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIEND'S PAST NOT SCARY

Vonda Volkom: Spooning is nice.
Connor Mead: Yeah. But not as nice as forking.

Connor Mead is a typical asshole who thinks he's God's gift to women.

SHRINK

SHRINK IS DEFINITELY IN

"Henry Carter: It's all bullshit and then you die."

Henry Carter is a lost man. He is a therapist to a great many of the Hollywood used and broken but he himself is in pain, although you wouldn't know it by how much pot the guy smokes.

THE INVENTION OF LYING

THE INVENTION OF LYING FULL OF TRUTH

"When trying to secure Philip Seymour Hoffman for his cameo his agent claimed he was too busy so Ricky Gervais requested his email address and sent him the following: "Dear Philip, will you please appear in my new film? There is very little money involved as I spent the budget on testicular implants, but don't look upon them as my testicles, look at them as our testicles." Phillip Seymour Hoffman couldn't refuse after that."- IMDB

What a novel concept, a world where people don't lie. Here Ricky Gervais creates a world where people go around telling the truth and nothing but the truth.

THE HURT LOCKER

ACADEMY AWARD WINNER FOR BEST FILM AND FIRST TIME

BEST (FEMALE) DIRECTOR

THE HURT LOCKER: WAR IS HELL

"The rush of battle is often a potent and lethal addiction, for war is a drug." It bothers me when I hear to someone refer to the war in Iraq as a "conflict" or "situation". That's wrong. It is a war and in this film we are shown the front lines up close and personal and indeed, this war is hell.

This film is about a team of men in charge of disarming bombs. The loose cannon (pun intended) is an unpredictable soldier, SSgt William James (Jeremy Renner) whose actions come off as too loose and even dangerous to his team. He mainlines testosterone for breakfast. Renner does an incredible job of portraying this incredibly cocky and also incredibly skilled soldier. The movie is shot documentary style and his presence is more than acting, it's being. He is strong and filled with adrenaline but at the same time, has his moments of reflection and frustration. No doubt, Renner carries the film and is hypnotically easy on the eyes. He makes sweat look good. The film has little in the way of plot or story, but more like a situation and the people involved in it, mainly Renner.

FUNNY PEOPLE

FUNNY PEOPLE: NOT ALL THAT FUNNY FOR AN APATOW FILM

Yes, there is the trademark crude humor, but much less pot smoking in this almost dramatic film by Judd Apatow. We meet George Simmons (Adam Sandler) a comedian very much like Sandler who has had comic success in the movies and the comedy circuit. George learns he is sick and has to undergo experimental therapy to try to reverse the condition. With his concerns and faced with his mortality, he meets and then hires Ira (Seth Rogen) a struggling comic desperate for a chance to make it.

MOON

MOON: IT'S 2010 NOT 2001

This is not your parent's space oddessy. Sam Bell (Sam Rockwell) is an astronaut who has a three year contract with a private company to "mine" the moon as a newfound source of electricity. Look closely at the great shots of the moon with square mined areas taken out. Brilliant. He is joined only by Gerty (Kevin Spacey) the intentionally sounding Hal-like robot who attends to his ever need. Director Duncan Jones (David Bowie's son) puts a few references in the movie to 2001 as well as Danny Boyle's Sunshine (clue, it's in the music) and has fun with the use of the flow-bee and the clapper. After an accident while on duty attending to a machine Sam is knocked unconscious. When we see him next he is waking up in the infirmary with Gerty informing him that he had an accident. After a while of paranoia, we soon find out that Sam is still unconscious, left for dead in the range rover only to be rescued by Sam. Confused?

INGLORIOUS BASTERDS

INGLORIUS BASTERDS: WAR DOESN'T HAVE TO BE HELL

"Once upon a time in Nazi occupied France..." At least Tarrantino doesn't bite off more than he can chew. His movies are getting to be like McDonald's franchises; you pretty much get the same food no matter which McDonald's you go to, but it's usually also always pretty good. Our story, which is quite clever in concept and creatively quirked just right to add a blend of sick humor and righteous indignation, begins in the small farmhouse of a French man who is hiding a Jewish family. Unfortunately the man who comes to call on that day is Colonel Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz) from the SS, better known as the "Jew Hunter".

ADAM

ADAM: NOT THE MOST ORIGINAL MAN

Adam is different, both the movie and the character. Adam the character (Hugh Dancy) is a man with Asperger's Syndrome, who becomes enamored of the his new neighbor Beth (Rose Byrne). They have their exchanges, but what eludes me is how she can not see that there is something off about him. Asperger's Syndrome is a highly functioning form of Autism and he has little to no social skills. That she could be so blind to his imapairment makes the movie terribly unlikely to me. Additionally, as they enter the relationship, she seems insensitive in trying to force him to experience things and it doesn't seem possible that he would transform as much as he did by coaching and rehersing. The script and dialog far overshadow the actors and at times it sounds like it; words written well, not dialogue. Without buying the basis for the film, I don't buy the film.

No bite: Not enough to hold my attention or create a suspension of reality.

DISTRICT 9

DISTRICT 9, BOTH SCARY AND HEARTFELT

This is, perhaps, one of the most sensitive and tender sci-fi movie I have ever seen. To use all of those words in the same sentence seems quite odd; don't get me wrong. There are plenty of aliens, heavy artilery, space ships and neato special effects to qualify the use of the word sci-fi. However, it's the relationship between one of the aliens and a unique hero that makes it indeed touching.

It begins like a regular documentary film. An alien spaceship landed, well hovered, over Johannesburg, South Africa for three months until humans were sent to cut into the ship, where they found sick aliens, presumably workers not leaders, and they were promptly brought down and set up in camps which quickly turned into crime infested ghettos. After the polish wore off, the aliens were referred to as prawns, a derogatory comment to their looks and not treated with the utmost respect. Here begins out story.

500 DAYS OF SUMMER WORTH THE WINTER AND THE FALL

"Author's Note: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Especially you Jenny Beckman. Bitch."

Maybe best start to a love story ever. But this is not a love story. Hold on tight, like flipping through the pages of a young girl's journal, this movie takes us on a journey, the story of a relationship, starting on (page) day 390 then back to day one. We meet Tom Hansen (Joseph Gorden Levitt) who upon first sight falls head over heels for the lovely Summer (Zooey Deschanel) a beautiful and quirky co-worker. As these things go, it ebbs and flows as they get to know each other, first as friends, then as lovers and then, not so much so. Tight and very clever and true writing helps bring these characters to life, as they were most likely based on just that, some's true life.