WANTED

WANTED... MORE ALIVE THAN DEAD

Hold on to your seats kids. Worker bee Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy) is sleep walking through his life. He has a cubicle at a job he hates, ("Wesley: Want to hear something sad? I use an ergonomic keyboard to keep my repetitive stress injury in check. Just the fact that I repeat something enough that it causes me stress is fucking sad. ") an unfaithful girlfriend and an asshole of a best friend. So one day, he's minding his own business when suddenly, Fox (Angelina Jolie), appears at his side, sexy and smooth, and then all hell breaks loose. Mystery man, Sloane (Morgan Freeman, as kick ass as ever) introduces him to a brand new world. Life in technicolor. Heavy metal, lock and load, this film is kick ass from start to finish. At the most minimalist of terms, it's the story of a young man who finds meaning in his life and makes the transition to manhood. McAvoy is perfect and believable Dilbert office drone as much as Jolie is a smoking hot babe who can and will kick your ass in a heartbeat. Terrance Stamp takes a small role and makes it big. Outstanding choreography help to make the stunts and fights look authentic. It is sleek and stylish, which add to the film, not detract. Unpredictably, the plot holds twists and turns that you never see coming.

BIG PICK: Sexy, stylish and thrill-a-minute, fantastic movie to experience. LOVED it!

STEP BROTHERS

STEP BROTHERS... KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY
I will pull no punches. This movie is riddled with obscenities, vulgarities and any other 'ities' you can name. It is crude, immature and offensive. That being said, I laughed my ass off. I literally have no more ass because the film took it from me. Another Ferell/Reily movie and I wasn't expecting anything much due to its short stay in theaters. Granted it is not for everyone, but along the lines of SUPERBAD, this movie teases you to guess what will happen next. I assure you, it is wasted effort. The story centers around two 40 year old men who still live at home with their parent. The parents marry leaving these two socially awkward and unbelievable men to deal with each other. Together they go through their ups and downs. There were scenes that made me gag and then others that sent me back to laughing. It is that fine balance that makes up for the absolute collision of a film. Be sure to watch through the end credits to see vengeance served and check out the Line-o-rama feature where the actors use alternative dialogue. I don't care if my "readers" think it's too over the top. It was; so suck it.
PICK: Finally a winning combination of these two great actors into one hilarious film.

TROPIC THUNDER

A MOVIE ABOUT SOME DUDES, PLAYING SOME OTHER DUDES WHO ARE DISGUISED AS SOME OTHER DUDES

This is Robert Downey Jr.'s movie hands down (deliberate pun for Nolte.)

Kirk Lazarus: Man, I don't drop character 'till I done

the DVD commentary.

And true to his word, he didn't. I listed to the film after watching it and RDJ stayed in character until the credits began to role and then he slipped into an Aussie Kirk Lazarus before finally speaking in his own voice. I can call this as 'his' movie because although Ben Stiller pulled through solid performance, he was directing too, so I imagine his thoughts were elsewhere. As well, not to let Jack Black fade into the background (not possible) and also lesser credited Brandon T. Jackson as rapper/actor Alpa Chino. That name in itself and the introduction to the other actor's previous work is pure genius and so close to home (Hollywood that is). It was an all-star cast and an entertaining look at Hollywood; specifically their power in and out of Hollywood. There are so many and yet so few things I can say about Tom Cruise playing a bloated, immoral agent who likes to dance. He mouth spewing expletives and full of spit sounded was too convincing. He looked different, but barely sounded different and that steely gaze of his eyes reminded you that this was just a silly romp of a role for him. If you don't laugh he will come to your house and mess you up... if he can reach that high. If he was going to do something it was going to be his way or no way. At least that's the impression I received from the commentary.

RDJ can do better than this, but I think he jumped in to have fun and his acting reflects that. It was a bit crude and sophomoric, and the comedic bits are scattered amongst the few pieces of "real" drama. Great bits from other stars and celebrities is the cherry on the napalm. Be sure to check out the "Viral Video" Ben, Robert and Jack made for the MTV Movie Awards. THAT was hilarious!

PICK: Silly and laughable, a much needed comedic vacation... that isn't a vacation at all, but a movie...but a good movie, that you should rent, unless you don't need a pretend vacation.

88 MINUTES

88 MINUTES= 88 REASONS NOT TO SEE THIS FILM
Oh, why list 88 when all you need is one. BECAUSE I SAID SO. Ok?! In 88 minutes: I could have cleaned my apartment, caught up with an old friend on the phone, get a manicure and a facial or simply sat on the sofa, watching my toes wiggle and ANY of these choices would have been more entertaining than this movie. Consider it a lengthy episode of Law and Order CI with Pacino as the guest star. So, Pacino is the typical forensic psychologist who has made catching serial killers his life's work as he molds young minds as a professor at a Seattle college. So blah, blah, blah, he plays a cat and mouse game with a killer who gives him 88 minutes to live. See Pacino run, dodge bullets, blah, blah, blah... and then the movie ends. This was a terrible, train wreck of a movie; entirely predictable and formulaic. Pacino looked like he just tumbled out of bed and onto the sound stage and then acts like he's sleep walking.

NOT a PICK: Waste of time, but if you must see it, use the library so you don't waste your money too.

BLOGGERS UNITE FOR WORLD AIDS DAY, 2008

On December 1st, bloggers from around the world will unite for World AIDS Day 2008.

It's obvious that there are so many movies made about AIDS: getting it, giving it, living with it and dying with it. Philadelphia Story with Tom Hanks is among the best. Angels in America, an epic movie about AIDS if there ever was one. Instead, I am going to talk about my own experience.

In the mid to late '90s I was a writer for a local entertainment magazine. I wrote about bands, conducted interviews, wrote a series of "how-to" make it in the industry. Then things became serious. The song by REM, "Everybody Hurts" turned into the title for my feature on suicide. "For One More Day" wasn't a song at all. It was the wish of a man I met who was dying of AIDS. Jonathan didn't practise safe sex; only later to find out his partner had lied to him about his disease. When we spoke he was angry, not bitter. He blamed himself for not being more careful. He had a drastic sense of humor. Nothing could put out his 'flame'. He was pleased with the article. He didn't want others feeling sorry for him. He wanted to inform. We talked for months after the article was published. He didn't want to see me because, according to him, he had become ugly. After a while the calls stopped and the number I had was disconnected. I like to think he moved back to Seattle to be with friends; his family all but disowned him. We both hoped that the article would inform others. He hoped for just one more day.

WAR, INC.

WAR, INC. ... WELCOME TO PLANET STARBUCKS

"When deep space exploration ramps up, it'll be the corporations that name everything, the IBM Stellar Sphere, the Microsoft Galaxy, Planet Starbucks." From Fight Club, by Chuck Palahniuk

IF you loved Fight Club, have a thing for dark comedy and sardonic wit and John Cusack then WAR, Inc. may just be the movie for you! There is no way to even attempt to describe the actual plot of the movie. John Cusack is Brand Hauser, a mercenary type who runs on hot sauce. He is sent on a mission to kill Omar Sharif, and from then on it just gets more complicated. What isn't complicated are the other actors: Marisa Tomei, Joan Cusack, Ben Kingsley, Dan Ackroyd and Hillary Duff. It's so much fun to watch Joan and John interact together onscreen and Joan owns her part loud and clear. This film is all over. One minute it's a comedy, then a romantic comedy then a drama then sci-fi... but all of it, in its jumbled mess works. Clear and concise statements about war. It's all in there and I loved it. There are explosions and "car" chases and drama and comedy and I loved it. However, it is not for everyone. You must appreciate sarcasm and understand subtle asides. The interaction with the Guidestar is clever enough on its own. So very clever and sharp.

PICK: Cutting wit and insane dialogue and story plot makes for a great thrill ride!

WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE YOUR FATHER

WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE YOUR FATHER?
For any man who ever had or has a father

"A parent and a child. The past and the present. Memories and secrets.

Can you know someone for a lifetime.... and not know them at all?

The life of a father. Through the journey of a son."

Parents are both idols and heroes at different times in our lives. We love them. We hate them. They are dreamily hypnotic and terrifyingly embarrassing. Colin Firth, in perhaps the best role to date, is Blake, son of Arthur (Jim Broadbent) who is dying from cancer. There have been all sorts of grown children helping their terminal parent and making that shift from adult to really an adult. This is perhaps the best one yet. The scenery is lush and green. We see Blake in different years of his life and his father's role during them. It is serene and gentle. Definitely a character-driven movie, each actor bringing their hearts and souls to breathe life into the characters (based on a real story). A subtle and graceful film.

PICK: Brilliant performances bring father-son story to life. Beautiful and moving.

TRANSSIBERIAN

TRANSSIBERIAN PICKS UP PACE
One of the most terrifying things that can happen when travelling in a foreign country is a display of social unrest, not playing by the rules, or rather, playing by their own rules. When travelling in France many years ago, the truckers and produce farmers both decided to strike. They did so, not with picket signs, but by "parking" on major roads, leaving no room to pass and too much time to ponder. Naturally, my first thought was, "but we're Americans!" We were stuck, Americans or not and that is the vulnerable feeling this film projects; except they add in guns, drug smuggling and murder. Woody Harrison does a fantastic average American tourist gag. Emily Mortimir is off the charts as his wife whose past drives her onto a very unusual path. Of course, the true star is Ben Kingsley as Grinko. Is he a good guy or a bad guy and just how bad are Russian bad guys? The ending gives big payoff where it is due and is satisfying. Cold weather. Colder villain.
PICK: Slowly works up to full steam and a wouldn't-have-guessed-it ending.

LEATHERHEADS

LEATHERHEADS SWELL PICK
What did people do on Super Bowl Sunday before there was even an NFL? This film presents the "birth" of pro-football in the 1920's. George Clooney not only directs this movie, but also portrays Dodge Connelly, the driving force that brought it all together. Renee Zellweger is the "love interest", Lexie Littleton who is very much a woman reporter in a man's world. She is sharp and quick and a great match for the fast talking, borderline con-man Dodge. John Krasinski is the "star" player of the team after he returns from the war with a larger-than-life hero's following. The lights sure shown bright on this film. The story plot is tight, dialogue quick and acting flawless. It is this kind of movie that reminds us what films were like before all the explosions, rapid gun fire and strong language. Admittedly, I am not a football fan, but the sub-plots and comedic, almost slapstick fun, is sure to be a clean choice for fans and non-fans alike.
PICK: One of few clean films that are sharp, funny and romantic. Nice treat.

DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN and THE LOVE GURU

DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN and THE LOVE GURU:
Special 2 for 1 review!

Is your glass half empty or half full? Depending on your taste for funny films, you might have a full glass or go thirsty with these two movies. I include them for their similarities. Both movies have stereotypical crude depictions of Israelites and East Indians. Both movies use humor that is crude, immature or offensive. Both have guest cameo appearances or "star power". SO, if you are easily offended, don't see either. If you appreciate silly, dumb or moronic 'humor', you found it here!

In Don't Mess With the Zohan, Israeli Special Forces Soldier, Zohan Dvir (Adam Sandler)grows weary of his life and decides to follow his dream of "making people silky smooth" aka hair stylist. He fakes his own death and comes to America to cut hair at Paul Mitchell. When that doesn't work out plan B ensues and Zohan finds a niche. The rest of the movie rolls slow and the ending tries to wrap itself in a neat red bow. Personally, it was bearable at best and funny in only 3 or 4 minutes of screen time. The star power in this movie is: Mariah Carey, George Takei, Chris Rock, Lainie Kazan, and most magnificently, John Tuturro.

Mariska Hargitay, Love Guru. Of the two, Love Guru was a much more thoughtful movie. There was the obvious comedy and then the more dry 'asides' . This film understood the comedic bar and pushed way past it. Mike Myers is Guru Pitka, whose goal it is NOT to be a poor man's Deepak Chopra. He is hired by Jane Bullard, YAWN (Jessica Alba) to help a hockey player get back his game. In an extra, Meyers said it was his way of combining the things he likes most: hockey and Eastern Religion. The story line is pretty weak, but it also has some pretty good jokes. We hear Samuel Jackson's voice over and as the camera pans, we find Meyers talking into the microphone set on "Samuel Jackson". Hands down, this movie belonged to Justin Timberlake. Yes, that's right. He was hilarious as a French-Canadian sexy hockey player. Jacques Grande: "Don't look at me with that tone of voice or I will punch you in the shirt! " It was worth the bad parts just to see his performance. Lastly, this movie rules for its star power: Ben Kingsley, Jessica Simpson, Kayne West, Deepak Chopra, Stephen Colbert, Mariska Hargitay, and Val Kilmer.

Let's face it. Neither film will end world hunger or cure AIDS. Neither film was so well done I wet myself. BUT, both films can be amusing if you have NO expectation of great film making. I enjoyed The Love Guru more than Zohan, but either work to distract from the election and all the silliness.

PICK: Even though I didn't care for either film, they were silly and entertaining to watch.

BOY A

BOY A... IS MORE LIKE 'BOY A+'

The main character in this story, Jack Burridge, (a brilliant Andrew Garfield) unfolds much like a blooming flower. Upon first glance, we know little of this vacant, awkward fellow. He works with his "mentor", Terry, (Peter Mullan) but we aren't sure of what's going on. Once he has begun this "new life" we begin to see the flashbacks. He has just finished serving a term for a crime he committed as a boy. Interwoven in the film is another plot as seen in flashback. We meet the young boy and see how events went so wrong to incur the wrath of the community. This is a genuine film that, if you make it through the heavy accents, shows the path the boy took and the one he attempts once out of jail. Garfield portrays a very mixed up young man and although this was his movie all the way, Mullan gives his heart and serves it up on a silver platter for us. We ache with him as well as celebrating this masterpiece of a functional contributing member to society. You can't take your eyes off the screen for a minute.

PICK: Fine film with heart, depth and sorrow. So worthy of watching!

CHAPTER 27

CHAPTER 27... WRONG BOOK, WRONG MIND, RIGHT MOVIE

"I believe in Holden Caulfield. And in the book, and what he was saying, what he was saying to a lost generation of phony people."

Mark David Chapman

"You either get tired fighting for peace, or you die." John Lennon

Jared Leto scares me. Where oh where did my love from My So Called Life, Jordan Catalano go? Leto OWNS this movie. Another Hollywood actor bulking up or trimming down to portray a real person, not just a character. Leto was Chapman. His voice struck me the most, a southern drawl that could have turned Capote-esk, but didn't. When Chapman took Lennon's life on that ill fated day, he took away one of our most outspoken and talented stars. Chapman's mind, his reasoning was slightly comforting to try to understand. For the most part, he was a very troubled man and it was a horrible event that changed lives as the Kennedy assassination. I don't feel any pity for the man, but it was a good representation of the event. Lindsay Lohan was also in this film for about 10 minutes. She lent nothing to the story and her "acting" was terrible. Hard to watch in some ways, but the other ways that were good and true made it ok.

PICK: A fantastic performance by Jeto in a heartbreaking time. Worth the watch.

THE HAPPENING

THE HAPPENING SHOULDN'T HAVE

Without giving away the secret in the movie, perhaps I can save one person from attempting to challenge my movie report. It is a very "green" movie and tries to make an important statement about how we live. The key word is 'tries', because it ultimately makes a movie that takes itself way too seriously and the message has little punch regarding the characters and plot. In the DVD extras, there was a piece where M. Night talks about how this movie was a "hard R" for it's graphic violence and how they thought it was crucial to the plot. Watch any Quentin Tarantino movie, even a bad one, and you'll get the same violence central to the plot. Long story short, re-rent The Sixth Sense and your money will be better spent.

NOT a pick: Nice try, but it didn't work. Go talk to a tree.

"Lisbeth Wheelehan"

THE SECRET

THE SECRET SHOULDN'T BE KEPT

An ordinary, average family, expected teen angst, mother daughter "issues" all is running normally until the accident. Mother (Lili Taylor) and daughter (Olivia Thirlby) are in a serious crash and both are rushed to hospital. Husband/father (David Duchovny) arrives and stands vigil between them, holding their hands until his wife goes into cardiac arrest. Freaky Friday was never so freaky. Mother/wife dies and their daughter wakes up, but it is the mother's soul who inhabits the body. It doesn't get much more Freudian than this. The film makers could have let this go over the top, but it is surprisingly less shocking than the description of the film may suggest. Duchovny and Taylor are strong performers. Relatively newcomer Olivia Thirlby takes the show. She is lovely and amazing. You can see Taylor's mannerisms when she is inhabited. Too bad these films fall beneath the cracks.

PICK: Well done and sharp acting. Don't keep this a secret.

IRON MAN

IRON MAN: "Give me a scotch. I'm starving."

"Is it better to be feared or respected? I say, is it too much to ask for both?"
"Lisbeth Wheelehan"
So as not to show any bias, for the record, I LOVE Robert Downey Jr. I have seen every film he has ever made. Iron Man is his time to shine. Through all the turbulent times he has gone through, little by little he proved that he was now stable and ready to work (Zodiac, Charlie Bartlett, Lucky You). Tony Stark/Iron Man fit Downey like a glove. Much like Batman and Bruce Wayne, Stark was a high profile man about town with more money than Oprah. After a life altering event, he decides to use his power for good, not evil and hence forth comes Iron Man. At that point, the movie takes a left turn right into a brick wall. Downey is still fine as are Gweneth Paltro (only kinda wasted as a background fixture, but also not a "girl") and an almost unrecognisable Jeff Bridges (who really shaved his head). However, the script, the plot and the ending just fell flat. I'm glad Iron Man had power, because the last part of the movie didn't. Until then, everything was high octane and full of testosterone. Even though I disliked the end, what I liked in the beginning was what will earn this flick a pick. Downey does a lot of improv so what you see is him, top to bottom. Not a masterpiece, but still a kick ass movie.

PICK: Not a perfect movie, but Downey colors outside the lines. A head-banging pick!