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TOP THREE NON-TRADITIONAL CHRISTMAS MOVIES FOR THE HOLIDAYS


#3: LESS THAN ZERO
A true '80s film that gives us a taste of what growing up white, over privileged and under supervised does to a person. Clay (Andrew McCarthy) returns from school back East for Christmas break after leaving his two best friends behind. Most of the movie is spent with him running after his ex/not ex girlfriend Blair (Jami Gertz) and his ex/not ex best friend Julian (Robert Downey Jr.) trying to help him out of a mighty mess with drug dealer Rip (James Spader). Stellar performances from all involved, especially (two of) my true loves, McCarthy and Downey. One of the few anti-drug movies that shows the ugly side of the pretty people's world.

Anecdotal note: On vacation in Vegas, my best friend and I are walking through a casino when a short man passes by me looking just like Andrew McCarthy. I tell her and she begins the chase, I follow at a much slower pace. She gets close enough to yell his name and he turns, which eggs her on more and sets him on a moderate jog back to hotel. She, not to be beaten easily, has the nerve to use the hotel lobby phone and asks the operator for his room and then thrusts the phone at me. Not knowing what to say, I ask if it's him, which of course it is, and I tell him we were the crazy girls running after him and beg for him to come to the lobby for a photo. Ever so kindly, he does not accept my offer as he has an "early call" on the set for whatever he was filming, but thanked me for calling. I was on cloud 9 for days. (sigh!) Good times.

#2: DIE HARD
New York cop, John McClain ( Bruce Willis) as he recalls the invitation "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs...” has come to Los Angeles to visit/reconcile with his wife (Bonnie Bedelia) and children. Unfortunately there are several determined German terrorists led by a cultured bad guy Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman is brilliant) who try to get in his way. Being the tough as nails cop that he is (aren't all of NY finest like that?) he fights back and practically saves the day single-handedly. With one liners that were repeated far too many times for years after, this action packed, thrilling film has earned many kudos for being one of the best action flicks ever AND it just so happens during... Christmas! Bruce Willis owned this movie and the air around it. Yipee Ki Yay!

However, the #1 non-traditional Christmas movie will always be...

#1-THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT
Samantha Caine (Geena Davis) is a typical almost boring woman except for the fact that she lost her memory. However, that does not stop her from being a mother to her 8 year old daughter and having some sort of a relationship with some guy. One day, out of the blue, a stranger appears at her door seeking revenge and somehow, out of instinct, she manages to save her family and kick his ass before passing out from a blow to the head. It is after that trauma that she and the last private detective she can afford, Mitch Henessey, Skillfully played by Samuel Jackson, ("...everyone knows, when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of "u" and "umption") head out to find some answers; and answers she does find. It turns out that Samantha is really Charly Baltimore, mysterious and lethal government agent who was thought dead; and that's where the fun begins. This is a great action film, but it is also a very funny, very clever film. The humor is dry and sometimes bawdy, but plain old fun. This time, however, the hero is a woman who can and will kick your ass. Geena does a great job of "switching" personalities without it being overly dramatic as Mitch notes, "What I'm saying is, back when we first met, you were all like "Oh phooey, I burned the darn muffins." Now, you go into a bar, ten minutes later, sailors come runnin' out. What up with that?" Samuel's one liners and earnest and funny; well... "in New York (he's) Frank, and in Chicago he's Earnest." The banter between them is as odd of a coupling as it is fun. Charly asks, "Were you always this stupid, or did you take lessons? To which Mitch retorts, "I took lessons". Timothy (Craig Bierko) is a very, very bad man as is my usually beloved David Morse as Luke. Yes, it is filled with language, violence and more violence, but those words and actions are chosen wisely and have purpose. Does this story have a happy Christmas ending??? Show times at my house through Christmas will be: 10:45 am, 12:40 pm, 3:20 pm (matinee prices) 7:05 pm, 9:33 pm and 11:12 pm.Watch the trailer at: http://imdb.com/title/tt0116908/trailers-screenplay-E11906-310

SMILEY FACE

SMILEY FACE SHOULD BE TURNED UPSIDE DOWN
If you can't say something nice...


Since the emergence of Sean Penn as Jeff Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High (including, lesser known actors such as Eric Stolz, Anthony Edwards and Nick Cage) came a new kind of character; the surfer/stoner dude. Other movies have tried to match the "dude-ness" and some came close. The gimmick in this movie is that the girl, Jane (Anna Faris), who is a "pot head" already, accidentally eats her roomie's cupcakes, which are laced with marijuana. The rest of the film is her wacky and crazy adventures. It just doesn't work... AT ALL. Even with a decent cast, there is nothing funny about this film. There are stoner women (not girls) who smoke weed (Mary Louise Parker, HBO Weeds) but no girl/young woman counterpart that come close. Faris can not hold a whole movie on her own. John Krasinski (Jim from the Office) was good to watch, but he could have been given a bigger bite of these cupcakes. Some bits work, but there aren't enough of them to save this crap. Some called it a cult classic. Let the cult have it.
NOT a pick unless you're too stoned to care. Worthless and unfunny.

DEATH AT A FUNERAL

DEATH AT A FUNERAL PUTS THE 'FUN' IN FUNERAL

Only the British could get away with the antics in this film. It's the day of the funeral of two brother's father. One is a mild mannered man, the other his famous writer brother arriving first class from New York. There are far too many characters to summarize here. When the film starts with the wrong body delivered to the house, it can only go up from there; and it does go up. Higher and higher, faster and faster... there are a million stories and subplots going on at the same time, like an Altman film on speed. This movie does an amazing job at getting you really dizzy and then bringing you back to a sober halt. There is as much drama, realistic and genuine than there is comedy and bawdy humor. Very real issues are covered during the course of this film and at the end of the day, it is another movie about life and death. There is one scene that is truly the most disgusting and horrific scene than I have witnessed in a very long time; worse than anything from the Saw series or any other horror film. It must be seen to be believed. So well done and enjoyable from start to finish.

PICK: Must see film, funny and sad and everything in between. Big Pick!