CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC

CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC: WHO KNEW?

With a title like that it is easy to label this film a "chick flick" without batting an eye lash. Cotton candy dresses, well accessorized and tons of shoes. It would put Carrie Bradshaw (Sex In The City) to shame.

So what. This film, for me, has the two qualities I treasure greatly. It was both magical and charming. On the outside layer, it is a movie about a young woman, Rebecca Bloomwood (Isla Fisher) who loves fashion and shopping so much she lands a hefty several thousand dollars in debt. Yes, she's quite vapid, but she has a good heart. In order to earn the money to get collections off her back, she is (accidentally) hired as a writer for a financial magazine. The inside layer offers commentary on materialism and responsibility. Like a classic Three's Company episode, this movie has a lot of misunderstandings, physical humor and underneath it all, it has heart. Of course the love interest is singled out early on (walking with a target on his back) Luke Brandon (Hugh Dancy). Let's face it; any and all Hughs from the UK are charming and unassuming. The rest of the supporting cast is star-powered and it was fun to see familiar faces.
I was set to shatter this movie with both barrels, but I really liked it. It's no No Country For Old Men or Gran Torino. It was light and fluffy and a fresh breath of air on these unseasonable hot summer days. Call me a flibbertigibbet, but this was a fun and most enjoyable film. The tango scene is beautiful.

Big unexpected BITE: What a lovely, topsy-turvey, incandescent, glowing gem of a film.

GRAN TORINO

GRAN TORINO IN MINT CONDITION

Walt Kowalski (Clint Eastwood) is a racist old coot if there ever was one. He is set in his ways, much due to his military background, while the rest comes from trying to maintain himself after the death of his wife. The neighborhood he lives in has evolved from white middle class to a multicultural soup du-jour. From the start of the film he mutters to himself constantly about the (insert racist slurs here) people who now out number him. Slowly his guard is chipped away and he begrudgingly shares in his neighbor's cultural ways. In return, he is given the chance to help his neighbors and the transformation is beautiful and captivating.

It is rare that I call a movie a work of art. This movie is a work of art. The plot is cutting edge. How can this cantankerous old man have redeeming qualities? The actors don't act; they simply are. Hands down Clint Eastwood proves, yet again, his strength and craft as an actor. The supporting cast was so believable that when watching the 'making of' extra, I could barely stand to watch the 'bad guys' behave and talk as 'normal' professional actors. This is what a perfect 10 looks like. My first car was a 1968 Gran Torino with Thor holding a sword etched in the back glass window. It didn't last long, as much as I tired to revive it. However, like this movie, it is so much more than just a story about a car. What a compelling and moving work in every piece of the motion picture pie.

Big BITE: This is a perfect piece of cinematic art. I am at a loss for words. A must see.

TWO LOVERS

THE STORY OF TWO LOVERS... AND THE DOWNFALL OF JOAQUIN PHOENIX

They say genius resides in insanity. This would be an excellent example. The film is set on a backdrop of cloudy gray Brighton Beach. Leonard (Phoenix) has just moved back in with his parents after a relationship gone bad. He makes half-hearted attempts to end his life, but he doesn't want to die. He just wants something less predictable. As his family wants, he works at their dry cleaning store, almost with his head in the clouds waiting to decide the next course of action. His uber-Jewish parents have also set him up with a "very nice Jewish girl", in hopes for marriage and all things traditional. Leonard follows slowly and blindly. He doesn't want to settle and he doesn't want to follow this well worth ancestral path. It is about this time that he notices a neighbor, Michelle (Gwyneth Paltrow) a shiksa goddess (non-Jewish) who is new and exciting and stunning and just as mentally scarred as he is. She offers him an opportunity to veer off the well beaten path. He is excited by her and she comes to depend on his gentleman virtues. So who does he choose?

Who can say what Joaquin Phoenix has going on in his head with the whole "this is my last movie" and "now I'll be a rapper" thing. The part that worries me is that he will veer off his very successful career leaving us to want more. His ability to bring this broken shell of a man out without it being over done is amazing. If this is his last film, he will go out with a bang. Gwyneth Paltrow IS that messed up but pretty girl. She is so complicated and vulnerable all at the same time. I'm not sure anyone else could have pulled that performance off. The movie is dark and cold and not a "feel good" film and it was punished for going against the grain. I've never seen a movie pull off a feeling, not a mood but a texture. It's a shame that this film did not and will not get the recognition it deserved.

BITE: A bit moody and dark, but stunning acting and well crafted.

KNOWING

KNOWING DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT

Wow... this film really bit the big one. An overly serious movie about life and death and beings from other worlds. Sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. This is an over the top message film. Nicholas Cage, John Koestler, is a big brainiac who notices a numerical pattern on a piece of paper found in his son's school's time capsule sealed 50 years previous. So get gets all freaky in his attempt to break the 'code', but he does and then the whole world falls apart. The end.

This could have been a better movie had it some dark comedy tossed in here or there or if had just not taken itself so seriously. It was interesting, but totally predictable. Another movie I saw (I have no original thoughts) makes the point that mathematics is the one 'language' we all can understand; including space monsters. I love Cage, but he was way too life or death and it was just too much.

This BITES: Held my attention but for all the wrong reasons.

HE'S JUST NOT INTO YOU

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU... AND MAYBE THAT'S A GOOD THING

I don't mind watching movies labeled as "chick flicks". Some are offended by the phrase, but it helps me gauge what to expect or not expect from a film. (Face it, even critics are biased.) That being said, I was hoping to catch a lighthearted comedy about relationships. I finished the DVD then went right to the bathroom to look for the razor blades.

This was some sort of cross-pollination between When Harry Met Sally (BEST relationship film ever), Sex and the City (BEST TV series on relationships) and then really bad, tedious, painful, stagnant writing and acting. You have this fabulous cast: Drew Barrymore, Ginnifer Goodwin, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Connelly, Jennifer Aniston. These fabulous women (I guess the men got the short end: RE: "Chick Flick") and nothing was good about any of it. The plots are predictable and uninteresting. The heaping piles of character attack on how women operate could fuel a hybrid car. Like some women, when it comes to men, everything revolves that relationship and all it entails. However, talking about your new boyfriend is one thing. Talking about how stupid you are when it comes to love and romance and then making more stupid choices while expecting different results, over and over and over and over and OVER AND OVER, is another thing. Luckily I am here to heed warning. I'm no brain scientist and even I wouldn't make half the cliched mistakes that happen in this flick. ACK!

BITE ME: May be tasteless but certainly not odorless. Not a good film. Go re watch WHMS.

THE BROKEN

THE BROKEN ARE NOT IN NEED OF DUCT TAPE

This is not your average horror movie. There are limited amounts of blood and horror. The rest is about Gina McVey (Lena Headley) a charming young woman who gets a bump on the head that really ruins her day. The pace is slow and steady, leading us to its crescendo at the end (as all good horror/thriller movies do). The thing that struck me was how well filmed it is. It has style, almost like a hand painted film. Love the slow-mo action. I'm not over the moon about it, but I thought it was much better than I anticipated. Luckily Lena has enough acting chops to help her pull off this thriller.
Bite: It kept me watching the whole time. Not fantastic, but entertaining.

THE UNINVITED

THE UNINVITED... MAYBE THEY SHOULD HAVE CALLED FIRST
Yes, another knock off from an Asian original. Simply, Hollywood should end this practise now. Japan, China and now Korean are steeped in their own cultures and each object or person, most times, was based on cultural meaning that is only relevant to them. Then we Americans get up and try to do a remake based on story alone and it seems to get all tangled up. When will the maddness end?! It isn't bad for us to try to branch out. It's just more pieces would fit together in their own cultural reference point.

That being said, the movie is set in a small town and on this day, Anna (Emily Browning) has just been released from a mental institution after a breakdown she suffered at the time of a terrible fire and the death of her invalid mother. She's happy to be back with her sister, but doesn't like the new addition of Rachel (Elizabeth Banks) her father's new girlfriend. From there, dark shadows threaten, doors slam, nightmarish dreams and her new "mommy-to-be" all taunt and threaten to return Anna to her previous mental breakdown. At least she has her sister to help.

This film feels like the viewer is expected to be scarred here, relieved here and then frightened... now. It's forced and just pretty boring.
This Bites: Rent the original

JUNE 25, 2009

RIP: MICHAEL JACKSON AND FARRAH FAWCETT


I'm still in shock. Before all the craziness and the paparazzi... Jackson made music that touched people all over the world. I remember liking him for his music and no one cared about his eccentricities. He was a true star and talent. He will be missed.


Fawcett's famous picture was on my older brother's wall and she was just the best thing since sliced cheese. While at recess there were fights over who "got to be" Jill (her character in Charlie's Angels). She was a beautiful actress and many have said her videotaped log kept during her cancer put a face on the disease. It's a sad day.

TAKEN

TAKEN: A GRIPPING THRILL

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

Brian Mills (Liam Neeson) is one bad ass mother f*@#*!. Do not mess with him if you want to keep your life. On the surface, he appears to be an ordinary man with a irritating ex-wife, spoiled daughter and long time friend. That is, until his daughter is abducted. Then this seemingly harmless man resorts back to his old ways as an expertly trained secret agent. And that's just the beginning. He's the type of guy who can diffuse a bomb with chewing gum and a paper clip without breaking a sweat. He is calm and methodical, taking the time to notice the little clues in hopes of locating his abducted daughter. The result is a dad who turns on the bad ass mode and we're all lucky enough to join the ride. Taken is very well written. There are enough comical moments as there are kick ass hold your breath moments. It is sleek and stylish and makes a total film gift package without the bow. It can be hard to watch things blow up or get beaten that it gets difficult to suspend your attachment to reality. Not so here. No, it's not probable that this would happen. It is plausible that this could happen.

BIG BITE: Watch this film.

LAST CHANCE HARVEY

LAST CHANCE HARVEY WORTH ANOTHER CHANCE

Harvey Shine (Dustin Hoffman) isn't the most successful man in life. In fact, the older he gets, the more the important things slip away; his now ex-wife, his job and now, on the eve of her wedding, his daughter. He's kind of a please-and-thank-you man. No waves, no stirring of the pot, not even as much as a whimper. He heads to London to the wedding, waiting for an important call back about the last jingle he has written. As he finds himself cast off from the 'new' nuclear family; which involves his ex's new husband and his daughter's 'new dad'). He almost melts down into a pool of despair and then he meets Kate (Emma Thompson). Thus begins the hint of a romance at in addition, Harvey finds his self-esteem. This is a typical Yankee man who lives his life around work instead of relationships. The transition he makes from wimp to super man; kind of. His "super man" is just a regular man who has found that he can be assertive, a rebel, and a man who takes from life rather than a spectator. It's a movie about real people, real relationships and real triumph.

BITE: Slow to build, but very fulfilling character drama.

THE LIFE BEFORE HER EYES

THE LIFE BEFORE HER EYES: BEAUTIFUL AND FULL

I'll be honest. This is a 2007 film that I never wanted to watch. Despite my love of Uma, and utter contempt for Evan Rachel Wood and never liked her acting beyond what she did in Thirteen; until now. There are too many ways to spoil the ending, so I tread lightly. Both actresses portray Diana; young and older. The younger Diana (Wood) is somewhat the typical teenager aside from some provocative tendencies. Her best friend, Maureen (Eva Amurri) is more naive than Diane, but they remain best friends. Then we meet "Diane", Uma Thurman who even though a little too easy to startle, seems like the younger Diane. After a while some strange things start to happen and Diana travels to her past in memory. From here on in, I stop. There are more flashbacks and with each one we discover why Diana is so jumpy. Uma Thurman was nothing less than remarkable. I can not recall a movie where she plays such a serious role. Surprisingly, Wood was also prepared for her role and did so in a not-too-obvious way. This is the only movie that I have seen that portrayed random high school violence and I felt it as the back of the hairs on my neck stand up.

BIG BITE: Very serious and sit on the edge of your seat kinda flick.

RAMEN GIRL

RAMEN GIRL NOT SERVED HOT
It wasn't a terrible film. If you can choke down how extremely naive and/or dumb Abby (Brittany Murphy) is then maybe it's your film. This particular American "girl" has set out to join her boyfriend in Japan, but instead gets a Kimono upside her head. After a while of self pity, she sets out to a local ramen house and it makes her so happy that she decides to stay in Japan (without knowing the language or anyone) and train to be a ramen chef. It wouldn't have been so terrible except Murphy is over the top American apple pie with a side of sparkle. The story was compelling and her Sensi, Toshiyuki Nishida, was equally complex and entertaining.
Nibble: Sorry to use the verbage, but a definite "chick flick".

QUICK BITE: FLASH OF GENIUS

FLASH OF GENIUS FEELS LIKE A KNIFE TO THE HEART

There are no tornado's, explosions, knife fights or extortion schemes in this movie. Instead, this is a film about an extraordinary man, Bob Kerns (Greg Kinnear) and his battle with big business to just do the right thing. He and his wife and their children live a suburban life with the normal life and so on. However, struck by a problem with this car, he is ignited to design an alternative method and thus begins the complications.He is a 'nice' guy and half-heartily accepts the word from Ford to use his design. However that falls through and he gets screwed in the process. Excellent acting by Kinnear. The good part is that the film doesn't place him on a pedestal. He can be an asshole and we're shown that which I find noteworthy. Many actors, fine jobs, but the one thing that stands out in this whole folly of litigation is what's fair. It is not an easy conclusion because little by little you see this man being scammed and abused and it hurts. How is it fair that Ford steals his idea and won't share the wealth? Doesn't matter. Kerns wants his credit, not money. It wasn't face paced and at times a little tedious, but is sure had a rightful ending.
BITE: Even if show, this is a fine film with Kinnear battling with the best.

BRIDE WARS

BRIDE WARS: CREATIVE REVENGE SERVED COLD

Emma: [to Liv] Your wedding's gonna be huge, just like your ass at prom.

Liv: Your wedding can suck it.

Liv: If I were your wedding, I'd be sleeping with one eye open...

"Bridezilla" has found itself into today's lingo, citing how the overwhelming feelings/thoughts and/or opinions brides get before their actual wedding. Emma and Liv, as children, planned for the most special day a girl can have; her wedding. So the women stay close in their friendship and concurrently become engaged. Hear me now, this wasn't a particularly good movie and too many things don't make sense. Men should not view this movie else wise they'd be blind grooms. So, that being said, it was an okay movie. It was like a woman's War Of The Roses. Both Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson were funny. The both had great comedic timing and worked very well together. Sure, it was a bit over the top at times, but when they got down to it. Men come and go, but women's friendships are forever.

BITE: Not Mensa, but entertaining and fun.

RIP David Carradine aka: Caine, Bill

Bangkok (AP) - Actor David Carradine, star of the 1970s TV series "Kung Fu" who also had a wide-ranging career in the movies, has been found dead in the Thai capital, Bangkok.

Carradine was born John Arthur Carradine in Hollywood, but changed his name to David after launching his acting career following a course in drama at San Francisco State University. He appeared in dozens of films and TV dramas but was best known for his roles as Kwai Chang Caine in the 1970s series Kung Fu and as the title character from Quentin Tarantino's martial arts movies Kill Bill Vols. 1 & 2.

A spokesman for the U.S. Embassy, Michael Turner, confirmed the death of the 72-year-old actor. He said the embassy was informed by Thai authorities that Carradine died either late Wednesday or early Thursday, but he could not provide further details out of consideration for his family.