KICK ASS: KICKS

Dave Lizewski: Like most people my age, I just existed.

Who doesn't fantasize about being a superhero; kicking ass, taking names, having a secret identity? Well, nerdy geek Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson: look for this BRIT in the biopic of John Lennon, Nowhere Boy) does one better and actually decides to not just sit by and watch bad things happen. He creates a "super hero" with costume and everything. Thing is, he doesn't have any special training or skills so on his first venture out, he pretty much gets his ass kicked, hence the nickname "Ass Kick". The one who gives him that name is Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage) who ends up stepping in, dressed in his Batman gear, with his best Christian Bale bat voice and saving Dave's behind. The most controversial addition to the mix is Hit Girl (Chloe Moretz) who is Big Daddy's daughter, programmed and trained as an assassin in efforts for her father's big revenge scheme. Her foul mouth and ability to kill without blinking is a BIG upset in the movie genre. While there is the comic relief, this film walks a fine line between comedic drama and dark action flick. Poor "17 forever" Christopher Mintz-Plasse offers a light touch with his own addition to the unequipped super hero as Red Mist and makes for a funny driving sequence with Kick Ass. There is no dispute that Hit Girl steals the show. They way she does it is dark and disturbing and equally compelling. She is my new hero. Of course production has begun on the sequel and it will be interesting to see where they go next. Hands down, my new favorite movie; funny, exciting, dramatic and full of action.

THE LOSERS: BLOW EM UP WINNING GOOD TIME

Jensen: Did you know that cats can make one thousand different sounds and dogs can only make ten? Cats, man. Not to be trusted.

Yes, this is dialogue from one of the most shoot-em-up movies I've seen to date. As I write this review, the testosterone drips from my keyboard (which is really sick) but also dripping is the sarcasm and one liners that breathed humor into what could have been a flat, too serious, bang-bang film. So we start with military misfits Clay (team leader and handsome Jeffery Dean Morgan), Jensen (funny dorky guy Chris Evans), Roque (dangerous Idris Elba), Pooch (likable Columbus Short) and Cougar (hot Oscar Jaenada-but how did he keep long hair when in service?!) who save children from a war zone but they are killed anyway as the transport was meant for them, not the children. After going off the grid, they are found by the new and improved Thandie Newton aka: Zoe Saldana (Aisha) who makes the group leader an offer he can't refuse. There are tons of explosions, gunfire, dead bodies and the requisite bad guy, Max (Jason Patric) who everyone wants dead. The best use of a Journey song gets awarded to this movie (nope, not giving it away). It is done well, looks good, whatever isn't believable doesn't matter because it's fun. I HATED the ending because although they saved the world (so to speak) the bad guy got away, of course for the sequel, presumably. It was a bit predictable, but the sole fact that they had a sense of humor and looked like they were having fun making the movie really made it entertaining. Worth watching!

TENDERNESS: AN ODD MIX OF DRAMA AND SUSPENSE

At first I hated this movie. It played more like a Lifetime movie of the week. Even at their worst, I can usually watch until then end and I'm glad I did with this one. Eric Poole (Jon Foster) is being released from a juvenile detention center after, we come to find out later, killing his parents. His actions were blamed on an antidepressant he was made to take and now he can walk free. Except that Lieutenant Cristofuoro (Russell Crowe) is quite certain he will kill again and plans to watch his every move. One thing happens after another and a waifish, throwaway girl, Lori, (Sophie Traub) deliberately crosses his path and winds her way into his life. Not knowing what to do, he puts up with her as she tags along, seemingly not understanding his capacity to kill. There isn't much more to say without giving things away, but one twist comes after another and another until you're dizzy trying to process all that has just taken place in an otherwise slow paced film. These twists are among the best I've seen staying within the limits of believability and rationale. The girl isn't terribly likable and is often annoying, until you realize the nature of her character and how she got that way. Foster does a good job of wearing his thoughts like a mask. Crowe could have been anyone and I was surprised that he was in this with no other names aside from Laura Dern, who was also a bit out of place. What I appreciated most was the way that you thought it would end isn't and the irritation you once felt disappears once you understand where the story really began. I thought they did a really nice job on this if only for the ending.

HOT TUB TIME MACHINE: THE TITLE SPEAKS FOR ITSELF

Nick: It must be some kind of hot tub time machine...

John Cusack has been reported to admit he agreed to do the movie just by the title itself. Combine that with the fact that Cusack was an up and comer during that time made this the perfect, if not just plain fun movie to do for a few extra bucks. Adam (John Cusack), Lou (Rob Corddry), and Nick (Craig Robinson) are lifelong friends who are unhappy with their lives. Along with Adam's nephew, Jacob (Clark Duke) they take a ski trip to their favorite past haunt, only to find everything in shambles. When all else fails, they get wasted and wake up to find themselves back in 1986, when everything was in fine form, including themselves. Chevy Chase plays the "I know the key to it all" handyman there to fix the hot tub, but also advises the boys to do the exact same things they did back then so as not to, well, the butterfly effect (with Ashton Kutcher). They have all the requisite 80's references and music and some nods to Cusack's earlier movies. It's fun. They know they are being silly and they are having a good time with it. The humor was a little crude and it wasn't rocket science, but fun to watch for those of us still stuck in the 80's without a hot tub.

GREENBERG: NOT MUCH TO SAY ON THIS ONE

Ivan Schrank: Youth is wasted on the young.
Roger: I'd go further. I'd go: 'Life is wasted on people.'

I really looked forward to the release of this film as I missed it in theaters. I love Ben Stiller as an actor (as opposed to a plumber, no I mean as opposed to his comedic roles, which I also enjoy). This role, however, just didn't do it for me. Roger Greenberg (Stiller) is going through a 40-something midlife crisis, but he's doing it more reflectively than should be filmed. There was little to no plot, a slow pace and aside from the writing and the acceptable performances, there was nothing. I like to either be entertained or moved or enlightened or excited (wink wink) but I got nothing from this film. It wasn't a bad film. It was just so subtle that I didn't notice it playing in my DVD player. It's okay to pass on this one.

THE VICIOUS KIND: AN ODD COMEDY AND DRAMA ALL IN ONE

Caleb Sinclaire:You know there are whores, right? All of 'em. I'm not just talking about the little skanks that hang out around your dorm, or frat, or whatever. But actually every woman you've ever known, and every woman you'll ever meet - Mom, Grandma, Aunt Ellen.
The fact that they're related to us doesn't make any difference.
Cause at the end of the day, given the right set of events, they *will* fuck you over. For the sole reason that they have a vagina, and they can.

So obviously Caleb (Adam Scott) has some issues that need addressing. In fact, for the most part of this film he is a most unlikeable, asshole; and of course, the most interesting. Little by little we find out that Caleb had a relationship that ended on a sour note and he's had trouble getting past it and moving on. He's also had trouble getting past some issues with his dad (the new popular dad about town, J.K. Simmons) but seems fond if overly protective of his brother who has brought his new girlfriend (Brittanny Snow) home from college to celebrate Thanksgiving. Caleb compels interest and as the layers peel away, we find a much different man than the movie begins with. This is quite the "quirky" film, not for everyone. However as much as I laughed and watched with my mouth wide in awe, I also felt deeply for him at the end and for the dynamics that every family seems to share; dysfunction. I really liked this movie.

WHEN YOU'RE STRANGE: TOP NOTCH DOORS DOCUMENTARY

At first it's odd to adjust to seeing Jim Morrison's face not looking like Val Kilmer. What a difference the truth makes. Johnny Depp narrates this journey of a few guys who just wanted to play some music and expand their consciousness to one of the greatest bands of all time. Please note, this is a documentary about the band, not about Jim Morrison. Moreover, it's a documentary about the music which when pushed up to maximum volume, sounds as clear and sharp and riveting as it did in the beginning. Director, Tom DiCillo presents old material injected with new footage. Watching this documentary is like viewing the band with fresh ears and eyes. It answers many questions and does so simply, no drama. Their performances and albums are synced with historical and cultural events; events that shaped our nation and their music. Jim, of course, has more screen time being the lead singer and focal train wreck and we are shown the creative, created chaos he strategically planned. The bonus features interviews with his since deceased father and his sister, who never seemed to have a voice previous to this project. Depps smooth voice competes with Morrison's throaty mix, but blends in rather than standing out. This may be a "for fans only" bit, except that I think this film could introduce a new generation to another kind of young angst. The good aren't the only ones who die young; so do the over indulged and hard lived. This is an outstanding testament to the band and its members. Fantastic work.

WHEN IN ROME: APPROPRIATELY FLUFFY

Sometimes, fluffy, light and thoughtless make an enduring movie, case in point, this film. Girl gets four guys, but wants only one, let the games begin. It's a pretty silly little film with forgettable performances and it was both shallow and sappy, but simple and just fun to watch. Angelica Houston did her part as 'The Devil Wears Prada' boss. I liked best "Pedro" (Efren Ramirez) coming in to do a cameo with former Napoleon Dynamite cast member Jon Heder. Not brain surgery, just a light rom-com.

THE TIME TRAVELLER'S WIFE: TIME'S UP!

Well, I was able to sit through the whole movie unlike my friend Suzy. Upon first look, it's a romantic idea but when further thought about it's pretty creepy. Aren't normal relationships difficult enough? He meets her when she is a child as a forty something year old man. Isn't that enough to kill the mood? If you can shake the pedophile vibe, then there's the 'one person relationship' theme. It's hard enough to compete with a job or a hobby but with time travel? What woman in her right mind would continue in that sort of a relationship? The ones I hear about were held 'captive' during this type of thing. It may have been romantically staged, and they certainly looked pretty, but it was so cheesy and dramatic and staged that it just didn't work for me. I did like the version of Love Will Tear Us Apart, but other than that it was just 107 minutes of film.

LAKE MUNGO: AN ODD "HORROR FILM" WORTH A MENTION

Following in the steps of Blair Witch and Paranormal, this pretend documentary takes place in Australia, following the Palmer family. We watch interviews with family, friends and other interested parties after daughter Alice is found dead in Lake Mungo. Yes, this is a ghost story of sorts. Little bits of information is revealed slowly that take us down the wrong path then back to "reality" and then into surreality. Obviously I can't go into the details, but this film makes a strong story about a family and their struggle with their loss. It is also a good thriller, with no blood or guts, just one bad face shot; nothing worse than what they show on Law and Order. It makes a mild attempt to throw us off the track in the end, but still remains solid as the story of a family in grief. Not too scary, but well done indeed.

A SINGLE MAN: STYLISHLY BORING

The seconds literally crept by through each frame of this Tom Ford film. It stylishly introduces us to George Falconer (Colin Firth) who is a professor whose partner was recently killed leaving a hug void in his life. Funny enough, set during a time when partner was used more in the business sense between two men, it's not a "gay" film. It just so happens that Falconer is gay and the person he loved was a man. The point is that he loved, so deeply that he doesn't want to go on, so he sets about living his last day on earth before he joins his lover in the hereafter; cue the things in life that one can't prepare for, such as other's actions and moments of clarity. Firth exudes the performance of a lifetime. Unfortunately, the script is so centered on the smallness of his actions it leads to a very subtle change and a more subtle film. A film, in fact, so subtle, that I was indeed bored. Julianne Moore did nothing but devote a few minutes as a lonely fag hag, beautiful as she was. A good looking period piece, just not un-subtle enough to keep watching for the small stuff; as in this film, you should sweat the small stuff.

CHLOE: NOT QUITE THE GIRL NEXT DOOR

...and not quite your average thriller either. Chloe is an "erotic thriller" (which sounds like something you'd only find in the 18 an up section of the video store) centered around a paranoid wife, Catherine, (Julianne Moore) who thinks her husband is having an affair. So, she does what any other suspicious wife would do and hires a prostitute, Amanda Seyfried as Chole, to temp her husband into infidelity. Now here's the hook; Chloe isn't the most stable woman in the world. She has issues. So of course everything spins out of control and Catherine is left holding the bag. This film is based on a french film, Nathalie, and is the first film that Atom Egoyan didn't pen. While the film has it's sensual drapery that is Egoyan's, it it obviously not his work. At it's base, the film tries to emphasize the need to connect with each other and the fine line between what is real and what is imagined. While it began as an interesting concept, I felt like the film just slightly missed the mark. The performances were solid, most notably Liam Neeson whose wife died during filming. It wasn't a terrible movie, just hard to swallow (so to speak) regarding the actions the characters took. My favorite films push the envelope of believability however this one pushed too far.

THE ROAD: NOT A PRETTY STROLL

Written by the man who brought us No Country For Old Men, this movie is not for the weak. It is one of the best end of days movies I have seen, about a father (Viggo Mortensen) and his son (Kodi Smit-McPhee) not named, just credited as man and boy. They are survivors making their way south in hopes of finding others who have survived. They do find people. Unfortunately with the food supply greatly diminished a lot of the people they find view them as dinner, not survivors. It is a pretty dark film. However, there is light. The light comes from the bond between father and son; the love a father has for his son and the lengths he will go to keep him alive and safe. The special effects are powerful. Charlize Theron is the mother who after living in survival mode for too long, looses it and throws in the towel. Robert Duvall, almost unrecognisable, has a small part and Guy Pearce has an even smaller one, but both are top notch. The boy is amazing. How a child can pretend these things are happening and give such a powerful performance is a mystery. There is a scene where the man is washing the boys head in a creek and it's cold. In reality, the boy began crying from the pain yet still had the presence of mind to use it as an actor. Amazing. Although dark, it was a very well done film and one worth watching.

THE BOUNTY HUNTER: NOT WORTH A CLEVER TITLE

I have seen many bad movies, but s a rule I stick it out to the end just to be fair. This was not the case with this "film". Within the first 15 minutes, Gerard Butler was acting like such a doofus and Jennifer Aniston's whining and complaining was so overwhelmingly attacking my senses that it had to be turned off. It fit neither the black comedy that was coming off as just plain mean nor did it fit the lighthearted romantic comedy due to the lack of spark between the two and the lack of comedy. Do NOT waste the WHOLE DOLLAR you can rent this for with Redbox; and trust me, it would be a waste.

DEFENDOR: MY FAVORITE SUPER HERO

Constable Mike: Captain, this guy is pretty funny.

He says he wants to call a truce.
Captain Fairbanks: A vigilante?
Constable Mike: No. No, he's a superhero. He calls him Defendor. And that's with an O-R, Captain. It's not an E-R. Defendor.

And he flips out if you get that wrong. It's very bizarre.

What a most unpredictable and thoroughly enjoyable movie this turned out to be! Woody Harrelson is one of the most underestimated actors of our time. At the base, this is a story about people and how they can have redeeming qualities regardless of how they might seem at first glance. It is almost an homage to super hero movies, full of all their cliches, but then it takes a turn to the dramatic and by the end, turns out to be a sincere and touching movie. We meet DefenDOR wearing all black with a black makeup eye mask and a helmet complete with duct taped on flashlights (for better night vision). A crude "D" marks his chest, also made from duct tape. He has his secret weapons; marbles, hornets in a jar, sling shot and lime juice and surprisingly, they work pretty well. While in the streets defending people from evil he "rescues" a crack whore hooker with a heart of gold (Kat Dennings) and battles a rogue undercover policeman (my favorite Elias Koteas). It's fun to watch how mild mannered Arthur Poppington (Harrelson) turns into Defendor, complete with his Batman voice and clever superhero one liners. "Look out, termites. It's squishing time." In time we see that he is a bit mentally challenged while he tells of his adventures to Sandra Oh, a court appointed psychiatrist. The layers get peeled back and we discover the events that led to this point and it gets a bit more dramatic than funny, however it is never mired down in the seriousness. Harrelson is one of the best actors of this generation and for such an odd and off-beat film, he classes it up all the way. It could have been a terrible film, but with his very touching performance, it makes for one that should not be missed. Be sure to watch the outtakes and featurettes.