SHUTTER ISLAND: NO MAN IS AN ISLAND

US Marshall Teddy Daniels (Leonardo DiCaprio) is not having a good day.We meet him as he is puking his guts out on a ferry boat on his way to investigate a mysterious disappearance of a imprisoned mental patient on Shutter Island; the home of the criminally insane. Partnered up with Chuck Aule (Mark Ruffalo) they set off amidst the creepy and foreboding settings to try to discover how a frail woman with no shoes could have escaped from a locked cell. Little do they know what lies ahead for them.

HACHIKO: A DOG'S TALE... A TRUE STORY OF LOYALTY

Someone help me because I can't see... I cried my eyes out during this film. This is the (based on a true) story about a boy and his dog; well, a man and his dog... okay, Richard Gere and his dog. Gere is a professor living in small town where everybody knows everybody else. One night coming home from work on the train he finds a literally irresistible dog, an Akita, wandering about with no owner in sight. He takes the dog home until the owner can be located and we know what happens then. The Professor develops a great bond with his new friend. There are subtle hints that the family may have lost a young son which Hachi seems to help heal.  Some years down the line, after being used to accompanying his owner to and from work, one evening the professor doesn't come home. This is NOT a spoiler, they show it in the preview. The professor dies.

THE MESSENGER: EARNS PURPLE HEART

Hands down one of the best war films I have seen even though it takes place on US soil. Staff Sergeant Will Montgomery (Ben Foster) is mending from wounds he received while on duty in Iraq. While finishing out his time, he is assigned to work with Lieutenant Anthony Stone (Woody Harrelson) a seemingly button down, straight arrow soldier whose job it is to inform next of kin (NOK) about their recently killed loved one.

UP IN THE AIR: EVERYBODY NEEDS A CO-PILOT

 How much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you're carrying a backpack. I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life... you start with the little things. The shelves, the drawers, the knickknacks, then you start adding larger stuff.  Now I want you to fill it with people. Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office... and then you move into the people you trust with your most intimate secrets. Your brothers, your sisters, your children, your parents and finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend. You get them into that backpack, feel the weight of that bag. Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets, the compromises. The slower we move the faster we die. Make no mistake, moving is living. Some animals were meant to carry each other to live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We are not swans. We are sharks.

THE ACCIDENTAL HUSBAND: A BRIDE OF A DIFFERENT SORT

My favorite sort of films are usually dark, psychologically prompted thrillers. However, that's not to say there is never any room for brain candy, which is exactly what this film is. Uma Thurman is Dr. Emma Lloyd, a radio talk show guru who pontificates about the ways of love and relationships with a loyal following. Emma herself is on the brink of marrying her successful boyfriend (Colin Firth) when they discover she is already married (gasp!). She finds her "husband" Patrick Sullivan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) a handsome and sexy firefighter who set this whole plan in motion as his way to seek revenge on the person who advised his once fiancee not to go ahead with the wedding. He is rough and tumble and has his fun with her, abusing her manners and good breeding. It comes down to real love versus romantic love, passion versus safety. Uma is a good comedian. She literally kicks ass as the bride in Kill Bill, and now she figuratively kicks ass as a well meaning, confused, woman who just wants to find love and live happily ever after. Morgan is the reason I would set fire to my house knowing he would come to the rescue. He is funny and very desirable. As for the cheese ball ending? I loved it! 

Big bite: Underrated movie, enjoyable and fun, romantic and gushy.

CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY... AND EXPOSE

Everything I learned about politics I learned from Michael Moore. Ut oh. Watching the news is one thing, but Michael Moore brings home the news and shows us the people these issues effect and how these issues that we hear about in the news effect us. Here, he addresses the efforts to remove financial regulations and the trickle down effect these congressional moves have and will have on us every day people. He has the ability to tie the whole story from the big picture to people like me enough so that I feel afraid. Our country, as wonderful as it is, has some very serious problems and while the minority can weather these problems, the majority is devastated. Moore is indeed a man of the people, mostly democratic people, but he at least tries to shed light into the abyss.
Big bite: A big man with big ideas and a voice for those who are silent.

IT'S COMPLICATED: AND THAT'S AN UNDERSTATEMENT

Jake: I'm sorry.

Jane: How far back does that 'sorry' go?

Jake: How far back do you need it to go?

Jane: Wa-ay back.

Once again Nancy Meyers brings us a light romp in a complicated situation. During their son's graduation and other family events related to their adult children, now divorced Jake (Alec Baldwin) and Jane (Meryl Streep) discover they still have an attraction to the other. Even though Jake has remarried, he cheats on his wife with his ex-wife and they find a whole new life blown back into their affair. Adding to the chaos is the arrival of Adam (Steve Martin) who is helping Jane with renovating the house but begins to develop feelings for her. The best part is to watch Streep juggle them both. It is complicated, but it is also funny.

SERIOUS MOONLIGHT: LAUGHABLE MOVIE

After the War of the Roses, this idea pales by comparison. Meg Ryan (Louise) has discovered her husband Ian (Timothy Hutton) has been cheating on her with Sara (Kristen Bell) and plans on leaving for Paris with her. To stop him from doing so, she uses the magic of duct tape and begins her last seduction of her captive audience. However, they are interrupted by Sara and then later Todd (Justin Long) a criminal intent on robbing the house. Seemingly meant to be a dark comedy, this film comes off as pathetic and desperate and just plain sad. The comedy wasn't laughable and at times it felt like a rerun of Three's Company. I did not see the ending coming and that did turn out to be a humorous touch like the cherry on top a sundae. It wasn't a terrible film, but not a fabulous one either.
No bite: Not terribly funny but okay to watch if there is nothing else on.

AVATAR: THE ALMOST BEST PICTURE OF 2009

This very long film was an awesome, visual trip. Obviously groundbreaking in its conception, Cameron has produced an impressive film and everyone seems to think so; except me. It's one thing to do something that's never been done and have it turn out neato looking, but that doesn't automatically guarantee an inspiring film. I think many people have forgotten that they are two separate feats and his second feat of presenting this film fell a bit flat in my humble opinion. It was way too long and needed much editing. The characters were not terribly deep or had substance and I felt like the morals, man versus nature, were rammed down my throat. It wasn't a bad movie, but it has to be taken for what it is. It is visually stunning and the world he created is amazing. The effects are amazing. I like that our hero is a wheelchair bound Marine who finds more than just a job to do. There are many really cool things about this film. However, I just don't think that it is the drop dead, cutting edge, film to end all films.
Bite: It has to be seen but perhaps not the whole 162 minutes. 

SPREAD: TAKE THE TITLE IN THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY

My whole life it was obvious I was going to end up in this city. I don't want to be arrogant here, but I'm an incredibly attractive man. I can't help it, I don't try to be, I just am. When I was a kid my mother's best friend used to tell me that I was gonna be a little heart breaker. Turns out she was right. Her husband came home from work one day and found us fuckin' on the Stairmaster. Los Angeles, California - that's where all the beautiful little heart breakers go to live the dream. 30,000 of them arrive here every single month. 30,000 prom kings and queens, and little miss cute tits every one of them with stars in their eyes and a dream in their heart.

Poor jaded Ashton Kutcher. Nikki (Kutcher) is a grifter, a player, boy toy and amateur porn star. He uses and abuses people just to get what he wants. Moat of those are older women, starved for sex and a younger man. Of course the audience is not to read too far into this in so far as it reflects the parallels in his own life. No, Nikki is a user and dirty and numb... until he meets a fellow female grifter who steals his insy-weensy heart of gold. Sorry, I just threw up a little in my mouth. This is a terrible film. While watching it I had two repetitive thoughts. Kutcher can not play this part and Anne Heche looks really good. Other than that, it lacked plot, dialogue and meaningful characters. Perhaps just like it LA, it was all show and no substance.

No bite: Borderline amateur porn rather than film.

MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS: THE NEW JEDI WARRIOR

More of this is true than you would believe.

With a cast including George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Kevin Spacey and Jeff Bridges, I had some pretty big expectations of this movie. I knew it would be odd and different, but I had hoped it would do so in a good way; a cool way. Instead we get a lackluster film that even if planted in reality, really doesn't take flight. McGregor is a journalist following a lead about the use of "psychic spies" by the army and the training and history of the program. It has the star power, but the plot goes off course too many times and the characters get lost on the way. Bridges comes close to recreating the "dude" and is fun to watch, but also sad. There are funny moments, but not enough so that it feels like a comedy. And yes, we get the joke, as it is repeated many times, about how McGregor was once a jedi and these soldiers consider themselves jedis; ha ha ha. As much as I wanted to like this film, it just sort of fell flat.
Nibble: Something to watch and fun characters but lackluster story.

ZOMBIELAND: THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH

Little Rock: Who's Bill Murray?
Tallahassee: ...I've never hit a kid before...

I mean, that's like asking who Gandhi is.
Little Rock: Who's Gandhi?

This is by far the most clever and well written zombie movie ever made. In fact, among movies that start with a Z, this movie is the highest grossing ever. Box office gold. It's a post apocalyptic world, where zombies have taken over and zombies are notorious for not cleaning up after themselves. We meet Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) who is one of the few non-zombie survivors. He has survived so long because he has developed a 32 point plan for how to protect and defend oneself against the zombies. Along his quest to get back home to see if his family has survived, he runs into Tallahassee (a delightful Woody Harrelson) who is a buff, gun toting zombie killer.

LAW ABIDING CITIZEN: REVENGE IS BEST SERVED COLD... BRRRRR

Not the most believable movie, but when has that stopped anyone before? Poor Clyde Shelton's (Gerard Butler) home is invaded by two low life scums who leave him for dead after brutally killing his family while he watches. Assistant District Attorney Nick Rice (Jamie Foxx) cuts a deal with one perp while the other is sentenced to death by lethal injection. This does not sit well with Shelton, who then takes the business of vengeance into his own hands. Even while in police custody, his plans for revenge continue and are mysteriously carried out. Shelton wants everybody to die and he does a pretty good job of making that happen. This is a classic case of planning where the criminal is always one step ahead of the law. This also makes it hard to believe it could actually happen, but I suppose that's what movies do, suspend our reality for a few hours.

THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS: WOW

It's difficult to separate the film from the circumstances surrounding it. This was and will always be known for being Health Ledger's last film before he died. The objective of the movie centered around joy and dreams and of course, good versus evil but it was anything but joy when Heath's death railroaded the film making. What I find extraordinary is how three A-list Hollywood actors jumped right in to turn the story in a way where Heath's fleeting presence was explainable and understandable. Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell shared the role, each taking turns but still maintaining enough believability for it to work.

BROKEN EMBRACES: ANOTHER ALMODOVAR ARTWORK

Pedro Almodóvar has a magic touch and he proves it once again with this film. Lluis Homar is Harry Caine, a blind writer with a complicated past. He is confronted with a mysterious visitor who sends him back 14 years in his past to review the heartbreaking events that changed him forever. Penelope Cruz is heavenly as Lena, an aspiring actress and alluring woman who steals Harry's heart. Actually, she steals Mateo's heart, but that's another story.