INCEPTION: THE SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER THAT COULD

Is all that we see or seem, but a dream within a dream? -Poe

I'm not sure if it is a relief or a shame that this movie is part of the movies that I am skimming over just to get caught up. By far this was one of the most creative, innovative mesmerizing films of the year. At its core, it's a caper film on acid. A set of unspecified agents are charged with taking their skills taking ideas people's minds to planting them. And mind you, this is just the short explanation. There are so many themes, so many alternative meanings, so many explanations it would take a whole blog on its own just to further explore these questions. Technically it was a masterpiece and one of those films that I could just watch over and over and over, and still probably not be able to tell you what it was about. Christopher Nolan has made a true masterpiece and if any movie deserves to be seen is this one.

BABIES: DOCUMENTARY AND NO SUBTITLES NECESSARY

This documentary follows the lives of four babies from their births until their first steps in different parts of the world; Mongolia, Tokyo, Namibia, and San Francisco. I have a friend who hates the use of this word in everyday speech, but I found this movie to be totally awesome. There is no voice over, and no explanation is necessary. The camera is like a fly on the wall recording each baby's development. It is amazing to see personality come through and in essence each cute and cuddly newborn turn into an actual person. I know this happens every day and I know that many people have already seen this occurrence, but to see it happen in comparison to other babies being raised very differently having different ways of living makes it somehow more poignant. Yes, there are the parts of the movie where everyone will say oooh and aaah, how cute, but this movie is more than that. The bonus features in this DVD include a visit to the children three years later. I absolutely loved this movie.

THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT: AND SO IS THIS MOVIE

In fact, this movie is more than all right. It is one of the best films of the year involving some of the best performances as well.

Laser: I don't think you guys should break up.
Nic: No? Why's that?
Laser: I think you're too old.
Nic: [wryly] Thanks, Laser.

If you can the fact that someone named their child Laser, overall this is a movie about a loving family with some unusual caveats. Nic and Jules are a loving couple portrayed by Juliana Moore and Annette Benning. Yes, Nic is a woman. However, that's not what is unusual about this story. Nic and Jules are the proud parents of two lovely children Joni and Laser, conceived by artificial insemination. Now as Joni (played by the lovely Mia Wasikowska from Alice in Wonderland) prepares to head off to college, her slightly younger brother asks for her help in finding their father, a sperm donor. Both Nic and Jules used the same sperm donor, so it doesn't make it that difficult when the children search for their father. Enter Mark Ruffalo as Paul, the very testosterone filled male. A chef and owner of a local restaurant Paul is at first taken aback by the situation but soon grows to realize the benefits of having a family. Of course, this is not his family, a fact that will hit home a little hard leader in the movie. Ruffalo does an absolutely fantastic job of a man who has been hit upside the head with a big dose of reality and does his best to make lemonade out of oranges. What makes this movie absolutely wonderful is the stellar performances by both Moore and Benning. I predict that come awards season, these two will be neck and neck competing with each other after a performance where they complemented each other so well. Both characters have their issues. Nic the heavy handed one, the strict mom, who despite her tendency to drink too much needs to have everything in control. While Jules is a free spirit who has been bouncing from job to job trying to find and/or express herself. Of course, Jules is the mom who gave birth to Laser. If you haven't noticed, that was the thing that I have the most difficulty with in this film, someone naming their son Laser. I guarantee that this film will be nominated for best picture this year. It's a movie about family, the difficulties of marriage and relationships, the difficulties of raising children; I guess it's just another really good film about the struggle to get through this thing called life.

PLEASE GIVE: AND PLEASE WATCH

Kate: I'm not spending $ 200 on a pair of jeans for my teenage daughter when there are '45' homeless people living...
Abby: What does that have to do with anything? They don't want jeans!

Catherine Keener is one of the most under rated actresses of our time. She is lovely and amazing (ha ha) smart and tender, funny and authentic. In this film, she plays a New Yorker whose sense of guilt guides her misguided efforts to be a genuinely good person. For the lack of a more delicate explanation her family is waiting for their neighbor, a hilarious Ann Guilbert, a 90-year-old woman whose death will allow them to expand their apartment. While they are waiting, they make friends with the woman's daughters, Amanda Peet and Rebecca Hall. Intertwined in the storyline about life and death and real estate, there is the stories of the relationships between mother and daughter, husband-and-wife, sister and sister. It is a very honest film where there aren't no bad guys, just people who are trying to make things right and rationalize their actions. Basically, it's about people trying to get along with each other however misguided their attempts may be. It is a subtle and poignant film, not to be missed.

GET HIM TO THE GREEK: ANOTHER BROMANCE FOR THE TIMES

Aldous Snow: What you did was very spiteful, but it was also very brave and very honest and I respect you For Doing that. But the content of what you said has made me hate you. So there's a layer of respect, admittedly, for your truthfulness, but it's peppered with hate. Hateful respect.

So Aldous Snow (Russell Brand) is a previously existing character from the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall. He is a drug fueled, sex crazed rock star and in this movie, it is up to Aaron Green (Jonas Hill) to get him from London to the Greek theater in LA. Of course Snow is on his worst behavior and pulls Green into all sorts of misdeeds and extreme situations which make it nearly impossible for Green to do his job. I thought this film had potential, and I love Russell Brand, but his performance in it simply fell a bit flat for me. I was expecting him to be on his top game, and maybe it was his way of trying not to overact, but that's one of the things that I was looking forward to. The biggest surprise in all of this was Sean Combs/P. Diddy/Puff Daddy or what have you, who plays Green's boss, Sergio. Who knew he could act, nonetheless be funny. His performance was reminiscent Tom Cruise's work in Tropic Thunder. Make time to watch the Line O Rama in the bonus features, especially Sarah Marshall's acting in Blind Medicine.

MY SON, MY SON, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE: (AWKWARD SILENCE)

Inspired by a true story this film directed by Werner Hertzog and produced by David Lynch was too bizarre of the movie to pass up. In true David Lynch fashion, it was indeed way bizarre. The story follows the events that led a young troubled man who stabs his mother locks himself in the house causing a huge scene and time for the flashbacks takes to explain how we got to this point. I really wish I had dropped some acid before watching this film, however that may have done some serious brain damage. It is a movie filled with dramatic pauses, unexplained actions, and of course, there's the dwarf. Grace Zabriskie is absolutely stunning, and always fun to watch. Chloe Sevigny is the man's fiancée who brings a tiny bit of sanity to the bunch. Michael Shannon is the man, and as compelling as he is to watch it is also almost revolting. There is not much likable about his character, but it definitely is entertaining. Hertzog mentioned something in his interviews about wanting to return to a low-budget film using great actors and portraying as reality. He does accomplish both these things, but the end result is such a bizarre film, had I not had the patience would have been difficult to see this one to the end. This film is not for everybody.

LEAVES OF GRASS: LEAVE THIS GRASS

I hate to harsh anyone's mellow, but I just did not enjoy Leaves Of Grass as much as I thought I would. I guess the reason I thought I would enjoy it was because I'm a huge fan of Edward Norton and in this movie he plays twin brothers, one, who although bright is pretty much a backwards pothead living in a small redneck town dealing with rival thugs. The other, is an established professor who is tricked into returning to his small-town roots upon hearing about the death of his brother. Surprisingly, Susan Sarandon makes an appearance as the boy's mother. While she is usually a highlight in any film, her talent goes pretty well wasted here. The rest of the movie turns into a redneck caper movie making some really huge leaps of imagination and plot, forcing a romantic interest with frankly a disappointing ending. The twin work was nowhere near as good as what they did in The Social Network, and in some places was just pretty darn silly. These are the times, that I am really happy that Redbox offers dollar movies. I still adore Edward Norton, but this is nowhere near his best work, in fact it may be his worst.

DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME: BUT YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT THIS FILM

I don't think of kids as a lower form of the human species. -John Hughes

After making such a splash with a string of memorable and deeply touching movies that seem to effortlessly unearth the teenage soul and make it visible to the adult eye, John Hughes disappeared off the map. His last work was writing Drillbit Taylor under the pen name Edmond Dantes, a homage to the lead character in the Count of Monte Christo. However, there was a group of people, a very large group of people, who wanted to see John Hughes work again and perform the magic he was known for. This documentary, is about a group of such people. In 2006 a small crew from Canada decided to travel by van to Chicago in order to make some sort of plea to Hughes. I don't think they even knew exactly what they were going to do once they reached his hometown, but along the way they were able to visit some of his trademark spots local hangouts. To me, this only showed a lack of planning and a real naïveté of young film students in awe of the great man's work. What I did enjoy about this documentary were the comments made by Hughes' peers and actors from his more notable works. However well-intentioned fist movie was, it certainly fell flat of my expectations. Since Hughes' death in 2009, there have been many tributes and heartfelt accolades given publicly about the effect that his work had in cinema. While this documentary may have been well intentioned it didn't necessarily offer anything new or different to what I've seen. I suppose that I am glad to have seen this film however it didn't offer any stellar insight or make me appreciate John Hughes anymore than I already do.

THE KILLER INSIDE ME: Who knows what evil lurks inside the hearts of men?"

A small town with a big problem. Hidden under it's apple pie, please and thank you exterior is a dirty, horrid little secret. Mild mannered Loud Ford (an awesome Casey Affleck) is a seemingly upstanding officer of the law doing what he does until an off beat encounter with a local prostitute, Joyce (an amazing Jessica Alba) slaps his head and seems to jiggle loose prior years of abuse and deviancy. We watch slack jawed while this upstanding man turns into a sexual deviant and criminal out for revenge and the hole gets dug deeper and deeper every minute. Be warned that the violent scenes are not just violent, but gruesome and disturbing. His "best gal" Amy (an extraordinary Kate Hudson) stays by his side despite any misgivings and is paid in full for her loyalty. There were no bad actors in this one. Every one gave a solid performance, different from my preconceived notions of them. This was a serious thriller and there is no way to describe the ending as less than explosive. Some scenes in this movie were ice hot and so sexually charged it seemed to walk a fine line. Other scenes were so gruesome and horrible that it felt more like a well made horror film; but this horror was beyond blood and guts. Surprisingly, even though disturbing, it was wrapped with such a pretty bow that contained it just enough to keep things from going over the top. The violence wasn't random and it made for a compelling character with Lou. I thought this was well done across the board and kept the balance just right. A very good movie.

THE JONESES: KEEPING UP WITH THEM ISN'T THAT EASY

By now we know that even the most seemingly "perfect" families have little secrets. The biggest secret that the Joneses are keeping, is that they are not even a family. During the opening credits we watch as their house is "moved into" by professionals. But they aren't moving professionals, they are merchandising professionals. It looks more like they are getting ready to open a new store then move in a new family. And, that's pretty much the way this story goes. Demi Moore and David Duchovny are the "parents" and Ben Hollingsworth and Amber Heard are the "children" in this farce, but in reality none are related and all are under the thumb of master seller and boss Kate Jones (Moore). The idea is brilliant as it works just like it does in real life. The kid down the block gets a new kinda of skateboard and lets his friends try it and all of a sudden every kid wants that skateboard. However, this time it's been done on purpose and with a slightly pushier bunch. Practically no item is mentioned to others without the item specs: it comes in blue too, they have three styles, we chose the oak, but there is walnut too. Things go very well for the family except that Steve (Duchovny) is new to this and keeps expecting that the "family" will want to go bowling or bond together in some way; aside from the way his "daughter" tries to bond with him. Worse than that is that he develops feelings for his "wife" which complicate matters beyond belief. It's an interesting concept for a film and well acted by all. Nothing really stands out, but it did hold my attention.

KILLERS: THE MOST ADORABLE NEWLYWEDS PACKING HEAT (NOT!)

Jen Kornfeldt: How weird is this going to get?

Because some things you cannot unsee.

...Like this movie for one. Just another silly movie in a long line of silly movies trying to find some kind of charisma that matched Angelina and Brad had in Mr. and Mrs. Smith. By any means this is not a good film. It is full of inappropriate reactions and predictable behaviors and everything is treated way too lightly because the rest of the film certainly does not follow the comedy genre. It makes no sense why they meet in the first place. So basically, the film is about this worldly suave highly capable expert enforcer (Ashton Kutcher) who accidentally runs into "Jen" (Katherine Heigl) somehow manages to fall in love with her and starts a whole new life putting his past behind him. Although we all know that a past like that does not stay secret for long. The ending is convoluted and if possible even more silly than the beginning. This movie was basically painful to watch. Catherine O'Hara and Tom Selleck as Jen's parents offer up a little bit of substance to enjoy. Additionally when the bonus features offer 17 alternate endings I get a little suspicious that they didn't quite know where they were going with the film in the first place. All in all it was a movie that should be missed at all costs.

WHO KILLED NANCY?

I was celebrating my 10th birthday on October 12th 1978 when Nancy Spungen was found dead in a dirty Chelsea Hotel bathroom and I cared about it as much as the detectives investigating the case. I didn't care about her death because I was a stupid 10 year old who only knew music as much as it related to David Cassidy. The detectives didn't care because it was another dead junkie whose boyfriend was named "Vicious." A short 8 years later, me and a group of friends, pierced and spiked, dressed in black with lots of leather and chains, wearing lots of aqua net hairspray, would tumble into a local movie theater to see Alex Cox's movie about the now infamous punk "power couple" Sid and Nancy. Now 24 years past, up comes this interesting and fascinating documentary that will undoubtedly and shamefully go unseen by many. Alan Parker and some of the people in the know back then give a more accurate portrayal of both Sid aka: John Beverly and Nancy Spungen of how they were, who they were are the events that led up to both of their untimely deaths. It's easy to laugh at the different Nancy impersonations, as "Nauseous Nancy" didn't have many fans. As a crime scene and case, it's easy to see how the investigation turned sideways and how some heroin junkie named Michael could have literally gotten away with murder. Although the film has an artistic edge and some re-created moments, it does not hide the nasty, dirty and sometimes horrid points in this ill-fated love triangle: a girl a boy and a needle. The bonus features an extra hour full of interviews and stories as told by those who lived to tell them ranging from funny to pointless. Some are obviously out for the fleeting fame and others are hoping to get the story right and the main one is Parker. I think he succeeded and while the truth does not make up such a pretty picture like Cox's Sid and Nancy, it certainly asks and answers many questions. Great soundtrack music, most of which by The Buzzcocks talented guitar man Steve Diggle, add to the feeling of the film. It was a different time then and the trip down memory lane is indeed a trip.

IRON MAN II: ALL THE IRON, A LITTLE LESS MAN

Tony Stark: I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love Robert Downey Jr? Love perhaps, is an understatement. So, Tony Stark is back, bigger better and more full of himself than from the first Iron Man, which is part of the reason why I loved this film. The problem is, that we already saw this in the first movie. So when seen again, it just doesn't have quite the same effect as it did when it was fresh and new. That is not to say, however, that it is not un-enjoyable. In this film, Tony Stark has been "outed" and everybody wants a piece of him. This includes the new bad guy lead, played well by Sam Rockwell and counterintelligence agent/avenger Scarlett Johansson in her formfitting cat woman-like suit. Mickey Rourke, added a little spice to this film as Russian bad guy Ivan Vanko and played pretty well as the muscle for Justin Hammer's (Rockwell) bad guy dictator. Gwyneth Paltrow is also back as Pepper Potts who in general was in character, but lacked the original chemistry she showed Stark. There was lots of action in this film, lots of things that blew up, lots of drama, but again, it just lacked the fresh appeal that came with the first film. This was a good film, however, I just had that feeling like I had seen it before. This is a film that I definitely would not miss, but not a film I would call best picture.

COP OUT: YUP, IT WAS

Paul Hodges: [screaming random movie lines to get a suspect to talk] Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker!
Jimmy Monroe: I've never seen that movie before.

If I really have to spell it out to you, Jimmy Monroe is played by Bruce Willis and that's just one of the many fine zingers there are throughout this very odd script. This movie comes to us around Kevin Smith best known for Clerks is a bit of a homage to the buddy cop film. Tracy Morgan is of course Paul Hodges who is swept up by emotion and the excitement that real life might reflect one of the many films he has seen and can quote verbatim. Let's just say this is not the best buddy cop movie out there, but with two fine actors, there are certainly parts here and there that make it worth watching. The dialogue is quite clever in parts but the plot is a bit convoluted and certainly ends way too neatly with the big red bow. It was an entertaining film, just not the best film.

THE LAST SONG: LET THERE BE TEARS!

Okay, so I saw on Miley Cyrus film AND a Nicholas Sparks-based film and I lived to tell about it. The thing is, although it was cheesy as hell it wasn't half bad. Okay, maybe half bad. Cyrus is this misunderstood who is forced to live with her father for a summer along with her kid brother and of course she comes in with the bad attitude that all teenagers have and ends up at the end of the movie showing how wise she is beyond her years. Oh, and somebody dies. Isn't that pretty much the way a Nicholas Sparks novel goes? Greg Kinnear was also in this film and did a very good job as the guilty dad trying to make good. Of course there was a love interest, Liam Hensworth, and he was okay, nothing special though. This movie was what you'd expect from a Nicholas Sparks based film. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, I just know that I made it through the whole movie which was a surprise.

REPO MEN: FILM'S ALREADY BEEN REPOED

Remy: My job is simple. Can't pay for your car, the bank takes it back.

Can't pay for your house, the bank takes it back. Can't pay for your liver, well, that's where I come in.

I'm really torn on this one. The story concept is not new. It was set to music in the 2008 production of Repo the Genetic Opera (which was previously reviewed). It was set in a futuristic goth-like world whereas Repo Men is set to a futuristic Blade Runner type world. Partners Remy (Jude Law) and Jake (Forest Whitaker) have known each other since childhood and have each other's backs as they work as repo men, taking back body parts when payments have stalled. It's as gruesome as it sounds, but this movie with an excellent soundtrack softens the blow with a 1940's sort of feel mixed in. Everything is great until Remy decides he wants out and soon the hunter becomes the hunted. It was a well done movie. I watched the unreleased version which may or may not have been more bloody. Even if it was, the original still has a fair amount of blood and guts to it. The soundtrack really sets a tone that makes Remy human and likable. I did love the John Leguizamo brief uncredited appearance toward the end. Additionally both Liev Schreiber and Whitaker were strong co-stars. Alice Braga was the "girl" but had a strong enough personality that made her perfromance enjoyable. The highly sensualized "extraction" scene towards the end was a bit too much. I really don't know if I loved the ending or hated it, but it was one or the other. This will be a movie that people either love or hate. Me, I'm still in the horizontal mambo middle of it all.

THE RUNAWAYS: KEEP RUNNING

Kim Fowley: Girls nowadays, they don't have any role models.

This band is self-empowerment, man - Aphrodite, Cleopatra, Eurydice!

No more second-class status, sitting at concerts with asshole boyfriends who worship bands from a Popular Mechanics evaluation of amplifiers.

The Runaways have the most chance of any group I've seen...

To do with the Beatles did. To tear this world apart.

Terrible. terrible. Terrible. I wish the movie had been about Kim Fowley instead (Michael Shannon) as he was the much more passionate member of this band in this film. I was expecting a shocking, kick ass performance by Dakota Fanning as Cherrie Curry to show us all what a talent to be reckoned with she has become. Instead I kept waiting for her to wake up and start acting. For a set the world on fire band movie this was a fizzle. Fowley was the most interesting and spirited character with Kristen Stewart ringing in as Joan Jett as the close second. She was able to show some grit and some balls, but she was the only one. Otherwise it was a film about some silly little girls who started the first most successful all-girl rock band. Frankly, the band deserved better treatment than this. Fanning was a bomb, but no the kind Cherrie Curry was. Not a movie I recommend.

TEMPLE GRANDIN: A WINNING MOVIE ALL AROUND

Nature is cruel but we don't have to be. We owe them some respect.

I touched the first cow that was being stunned. In a few seconds it was going to be just another piece of beef, but in that moment it was still an individual. It was calm and then it was gone. I became aware of how precious life was....

Clare Danes is magic. Here she brings to life Temple Grandin, an autistic yet highly functioning woman struggling to make the world a better place. No, not just struggling, accomplishing. Her lack of ability to understand people is forgiven for her uncanny ability to relate with animals and wish them more humane treatment no matter their fate. Grandin thinks in pictures and understands far more than we think she can. Luckily there were some instrumental people in her life Aunt (played with warmth and compassion by Catherine O'Hara) and a very special teacher (David Strathairn in a similar role) and of course a determined mother (Julia Ormond). This movie is full of compassion, determination and exuberance. It was created by HBO, but is as fine if not more so than any movie on the big screen. Danes takes her character and becomes her with nothing but respect and reverence. All glamour aside, she IS Grandin and does a heartwarming job. This is the kind of movie I would love to see more often. A must see!

DATE NIGHT: CANCEL THIS DATE

From the writer who brought you Shrek... how high were our expectations for this film?! How can a movie staring two of the funniest actors turn out so bad? A terrible script. Just watch the gag reel at the end of the film to see that pairing these two together was a great idea, just not for this film. It was silly, boring and tiresome with an utterly predictable plot. The boring married couple try to spice up their lives by going into the City for dinner instead of the Denny's down the street and simply by taking someone elses reservation (what bastard would do that!?) they are led into a plot that feels much like a Three's Company episode. Tina Fey and Steve Carell are the Foster's and they are funny; just not in the way the film intended. This is the first movie where I actually felt embarrassed for the actors. How many times does the plot have to be explained by the characters in their dialogues? It was just terrible. Worse than that at 88 minutes it was still too long. The only thing that kept my interest was the many visits to Marky Mark Wahlberg without a shirt and even that grew tiresome. Go out on a date, just don't waste your time watching this dud.

ABANDONED: IS THE LEAST THIS FILM DESERVES TO BE

Staring at the skeletal shell that was once Brittany Murphy, this movie is one to be missed. Weak story, bad acting and terrible everything else. I fast forwarded during the many chase scenes but that still did not help. Do not see this movie. It is a waste to time and a poor memory of someone who deserves to rest in peace.

GHOST WRITER: SUPER FILM NOIR

The Ghost: Did you ever want to be a proper politician in your own right?
Ruth Lang: Of course, didn't you want to be a proper writer?

Roman Polanski is alive and well and still making excellent movies. This time we are brought into the world of a super politico, much like Tony Blair, who is being investigated for some unsavory crimes. Pierce Brosnan is Ex-Prime Minister Andrew Lang who is working on a book with a ghost writer that has come up dead on a beach. Cue Ewan McGregor as Ghost number two who enters softly and is brought up to speed much like a college hazing gone bad about the chaos he has surrounded himself with. What starts off as a slow and reasonable movie whips into a fury with an ending that spins out of control. McGregor is solid as the man whose normal boring life turns upside down. Brosnan is equally on par with McGregor. Who we don't see coming is Ruth Lang (Olivia Williams) the long suffering wife. Kim Cattrall makes an appearance as an actress despite her recent work on the SITC movie. The accent threw me a little, but otherwise she is poised. This was a really well done film and it's shame that Polanski's real life worries get in the way of how his work is viewed. Similarly it is interesting to note the similarities between the exiled ex-Prime Minister and Polanski's issues. Must see film.

AFTER.LIFE: DON'T BE SWAYED BY AN ALL STAR CAST

Eliot Deacon: I thought you were different.

You all say you're scared of death, but the truth is you're more scared of life.

Thank you Redbox! I love only spending a dollar on films that turn out really bad. This was one of them. Christina Ricci plays a schoolteacher who is having trouble trusting the boyfriend (Justin Long) who wants to marry her. After an argument, she gets in a car accident and "wakes up" in the morgue of a local funeral home. It is there that mortician Elliot Deacon (Liam Neeson) spends the rest of the movie convincing her that she is indeed dead and prepares her for her funeral. The whole movie just about centers on this theme of living life and how life is wasted and it is only at the end that our worst suspicions are confirmed and the film takes on more of a horror film air. Ricci practically sleepwalks through this film except that she over acts and one doesn't counter the other. Neeson is misplaced and how they got him to do this is beyond me. Long I don't care much about but he over did it just as much as everyone else. This was just a plain bad film. Thank you Redbox!

SEX IN THE CITY II: PASSPORT TO NOWHERE

Unless you're a big fan of SITC, don't even bother with this "film". I am a fan of the HBO series and I barely enjoyed this one. It wasn't such a movie as it was meeting up with friends you haven't seen in a long time for coffee and gossip. This time, on a much lighter note, the ladies travel to Abu Dhabi for some Samantha reason and get to spend time in a lavish mirage in the desert. Who wears Prada when you know you are going to be sweating? Of course Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) runs into ex-flame Aidan (John Corbett) and there is some... wait, the plot really doesn't matter. Unless you know SITC and its cast and characters DON'T SEE THIS FILM. I might say that if you DO know, but it is always slightly fun to catch up with the "girls". Nonetheless, it is a pretty bad movie. Save the time and read the reviews online and use your imagination instead.

THE BOOK OF ELI: ENTERTAINING ENOUGH

How many post apocalyptic movies can one take in? This one was definitely more stylized than The Messenger, but it also lacked something. So something we all take for granted when checking into the Best Western ends up saving the world? And I mean saving the world. The outlaw wild post apocalyptic west is being run by Gary Oldman who is one of the few left who can read and has desperate men out rummaging for books. Eli (a very cool Denzel Washington) is a traveler who has an appointment to keep and is ready to blast through whoever he must to get there, although he would rather not when given the choice. The ending was clever and the plot twist worth all the film's shortcomings. This isn't my first pick, but it held my attention and was interesting enough.

THE GOODS: LIVE HARD, SELL HARD: WATCH SOFT

It's Jeremy Piven's movie and we're just watching it. He is Don Ready, a car salesman who acts as a gun for hire to other car lots in need. He knows all the tricks to push the cars right off the lot and talks as smooth as a baby's behind. This movie, isn't. It's crude and vulgar and really silly in some parts. However there is just enough star power and fun that it is worth the watch. Will Ferrell has a small but powerful bit. It feels like the Ari Goldman show, Piven's role from Entourage, but he is still fun and it made for an entertaining film. Not a great film by any means, but something entertaining and silly.

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS? WASN'T THAT BAD

I too am swayed by the reviews I read and combined with watching the previews I was sure I would miss this one. However, when faced with slim pickings at the library and a boring night sewing and needing something to make noise in the background, there I was watching this film. It's totally predictable: two New Yorkers, a couple on the verge of divorce (Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker who seems terminally trapped in New York) witness mob activity and now have to be relocated by the officials for their own safety. Of course they are relocated to the podunkiest town in all of the US and are shocked to see how the simple cowboy people live. It's a predictable script, with less than stellar dialogue and there is NO chemistry between Grant and Parker. Other than that, it was an okay movie. It was simple and fluffy and sometimes that's what's called for in a situation. There were some funny moments and some sweet moments and I LOVE Sam Elliott and Mary Steenburgen as the host family for these two. The best parts are with Elliott. It's lighthearted and silly and it really wasn't that bad. Not a rave review, but you never know when you'll be in a similar situation!

KICK ASS: KICKS

Dave Lizewski: Like most people my age, I just existed.

Who doesn't fantasize about being a superhero; kicking ass, taking names, having a secret identity? Well, nerdy geek Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson: look for this BRIT in the biopic of John Lennon, Nowhere Boy) does one better and actually decides to not just sit by and watch bad things happen. He creates a "super hero" with costume and everything. Thing is, he doesn't have any special training or skills so on his first venture out, he pretty much gets his ass kicked, hence the nickname "Ass Kick". The one who gives him that name is Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage) who ends up stepping in, dressed in his Batman gear, with his best Christian Bale bat voice and saving Dave's behind. The most controversial addition to the mix is Hit Girl (Chloe Moretz) who is Big Daddy's daughter, programmed and trained as an assassin in efforts for her father's big revenge scheme. Her foul mouth and ability to kill without blinking is a BIG upset in the movie genre. While there is the comic relief, this film walks a fine line between comedic drama and dark action flick. Poor "17 forever" Christopher Mintz-Plasse offers a light touch with his own addition to the unequipped super hero as Red Mist and makes for a funny driving sequence with Kick Ass. There is no dispute that Hit Girl steals the show. They way she does it is dark and disturbing and equally compelling. She is my new hero. Of course production has begun on the sequel and it will be interesting to see where they go next. Hands down, my new favorite movie; funny, exciting, dramatic and full of action.

THE LOSERS: BLOW EM UP WINNING GOOD TIME

Jensen: Did you know that cats can make one thousand different sounds and dogs can only make ten? Cats, man. Not to be trusted.

Yes, this is dialogue from one of the most shoot-em-up movies I've seen to date. As I write this review, the testosterone drips from my keyboard (which is really sick) but also dripping is the sarcasm and one liners that breathed humor into what could have been a flat, too serious, bang-bang film. So we start with military misfits Clay (team leader and handsome Jeffery Dean Morgan), Jensen (funny dorky guy Chris Evans), Roque (dangerous Idris Elba), Pooch (likable Columbus Short) and Cougar (hot Oscar Jaenada-but how did he keep long hair when in service?!) who save children from a war zone but they are killed anyway as the transport was meant for them, not the children. After going off the grid, they are found by the new and improved Thandie Newton aka: Zoe Saldana (Aisha) who makes the group leader an offer he can't refuse. There are tons of explosions, gunfire, dead bodies and the requisite bad guy, Max (Jason Patric) who everyone wants dead. The best use of a Journey song gets awarded to this movie (nope, not giving it away). It is done well, looks good, whatever isn't believable doesn't matter because it's fun. I HATED the ending because although they saved the world (so to speak) the bad guy got away, of course for the sequel, presumably. It was a bit predictable, but the sole fact that they had a sense of humor and looked like they were having fun making the movie really made it entertaining. Worth watching!

TENDERNESS: AN ODD MIX OF DRAMA AND SUSPENSE

At first I hated this movie. It played more like a Lifetime movie of the week. Even at their worst, I can usually watch until then end and I'm glad I did with this one. Eric Poole (Jon Foster) is being released from a juvenile detention center after, we come to find out later, killing his parents. His actions were blamed on an antidepressant he was made to take and now he can walk free. Except that Lieutenant Cristofuoro (Russell Crowe) is quite certain he will kill again and plans to watch his every move. One thing happens after another and a waifish, throwaway girl, Lori, (Sophie Traub) deliberately crosses his path and winds her way into his life. Not knowing what to do, he puts up with her as she tags along, seemingly not understanding his capacity to kill. There isn't much more to say without giving things away, but one twist comes after another and another until you're dizzy trying to process all that has just taken place in an otherwise slow paced film. These twists are among the best I've seen staying within the limits of believability and rationale. The girl isn't terribly likable and is often annoying, until you realize the nature of her character and how she got that way. Foster does a good job of wearing his thoughts like a mask. Crowe could have been anyone and I was surprised that he was in this with no other names aside from Laura Dern, who was also a bit out of place. What I appreciated most was the way that you thought it would end isn't and the irritation you once felt disappears once you understand where the story really began. I thought they did a really nice job on this if only for the ending.