RE-PRINT:
TOP THREE NON-TRADITIONAL CHRISTMAS MOVIES FOR THE HOLIDAYS


#3: LESS THAN ZERO
A true '80s film that gives us a taste of what growing up white, over privileged and under supervised does to a person. Clay (Andrew McCarthy) returns from school back East for Christmas break after leaving his two best friends behind. Most of the movie is spent with him running after his ex/not ex girlfriend Blair (Jami Gertz) and his ex/not ex best friend Julian (Robert Downey Jr.) trying to help him out of a mighty mess with drug dealer Rip (James Spader). Stellar performances from all involved, especially (two of) my true loves, McCarthy and Downey. One of the few anti-drug movies that shows the ugly side of the pretty people's world.

Anecdotal note: On vacation in Vegas, my best friend and I are walking through a casino when a short man passes by me looking just like Andrew McCarthy. I tell her and she begins the chase, I follow at a much slower pace. She gets close enough to yell his name and he turns, which eggs her on more and sets him on a moderate jog back to hotel. She, not to be beaten easily, has the nerve to use the hotel lobby phone and asks the operator for his room and then thrusts the phone at me. Not knowing what to say, I ask if it's him, which of course it is, and I tell him we were the crazy girls running after him and beg for him to come to the lobby for a photo. Ever so kindly, he does not accept my offer as he has an "early call" on the set for whatever he was filming, but thanked me for calling. I was on cloud 9 for days. (sigh!) Good times.

#2: DIE HARD
New York cop, John McClain ( Bruce Willis) as he recalls the invitation "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs...” has come to Los Angeles to visit/reconcile with his wife (Bonnie Bedelia) and children. Unfortunately there are several determined German terrorists led by a cultured bad guy Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman is brilliant) who try to get in his way. Being the tough as nails cop that he is (aren't all of NY finest like that?) he fights back and practically saves the day single-handedly. With one liners that were repeated far too many times for years after, this action packed, thrilling film has earned many kudos for being one of the best action flicks ever AND it just so happens during... Christmas! Bruce Willis owned this movie and the air around it. Yipee Ki Yay!

However, the #1 non-traditional Christmas movie will always be...

#1-THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT
Samantha Caine (Geena Davis) is a typical almost boring woman except for the fact that she lost her memory. However, that does not stop her from being a mother to her 8 year old daughter and having some sort of a relationship with some guy. One day, out of the blue, a stranger appears at her door seeking revenge and somehow, out of instinct, she manages to save her family and kick his ass before passing out from a blow to the head. It is after that trauma that she and the last private detective she can afford, Mitch Henessey, Skillfully played by Samuel Jackson, ("...everyone knows, when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of "u" and "umption") head out to find some answers; and answers she does find. It turns out that Samantha is really Charly Baltimore, mysterious and lethal government agent who was thought dead; and that's where the fun begins. This is a great action film, but it is also a very funny, very clever film. The humor is dry and sometimes bawdy, but plain old fun. This time, however, the hero is a woman who can and will kick your ass. Geena does a great job of "switching" personalities without it being overly dramatic as Mitch notes, "What I'm saying is, back when we first met, you were all like "Oh phooey, I burned the darn muffins." Now, you go into a bar, ten minutes later, sailors come runnin' out. What up with that?" Samuel's one liners and earnest and funny; well... "in New York (he's) Frank, and in Chicago he's Earnest." The banter between them is as odd of a coupling as it is fun. Charly asks, "Were you always this stupid, or did you take lessons? To which Mitch retorts, "I took lessons". Timothy (Craig Bierko) is a very, very bad man as is my usually beloved David Morse as Luke. Yes, it is filled with language, violence and more violence, but those words and actions are chosen wisely and have purpose. Does this story have a happy Christmas ending??? Show times at my house through Christmas will be: 10:45 am, 12:40 pm, 3:20 pm (matinee prices) 7:05 pm, 9:33 pm and 11:12 pm.Watch the trailer at: http://imdb.com/title/tt0116908/trailers-screenplay-E11906-310

MAX PAYNE

MAX PAYNE INDEED PAYNEFUL



Oh, where to start... This movie was very, very, very, very, pretty. The use of shadows disbursed with primary colors gave it an unoriginal, but pretty look. I didn't know this movie was based on a video game when I watched it. Noticing the first part of the movie was full of scantily clad, silicone women I can now see the intended demographic. The plot was so thin and recycled it almost didn't exist. Instead the dark shadows and Max Payne's (Marky-Mark Walhberg) brooding stare took center stage with the snow. The whole movie had this huge snowfall, that never seemed to stick. It was pretty too. Of course there was the clique bad guy, the one who seems most helpful then turns around and stabs the hero in the back. Chris O'Donnell was unrecognisable in the film and he did something too. None of this movie even tried to make sense and none of the characters were consistent. The ending was not only unsatisfying, but really stupid.

True to form, Marky-Mark (If you weren't born then or didn't know, Marky-Mark started out his career as a "rapper" with a lot of underwear ads for Calvin Klein. Now by just going by Mark and trying to act, he tries to fit in where he doesn't belong. He seems to operate in one mode as portrayed by Andy Samburg of Saturday Night Live (look it up on You Tube).

BITE me: A sorry waste of time both to film the movie and to watch it.