SEX AND DEATH 101: Quick Bite

SEX AND DEATH 101: EARNS AN A+

From the man who brought up Heathers, comes a film so odd, so surreal and so very good. An ordinary, wait, an extraordinary, and handsome man Roderick Blank (Simon Baker) finds himself happy and content with his work, life and impending nuptials. Then comes a mysterious email of 101 names. Each name, up to a certain number, is the same of a sexual conquest. Shortly thereafter he finds who the new names are, and he does so with great enthusiasm. All the while, there is a serial killer, Death Nell, is on the loose creating mayhem and controversy. Add the "Matrix" like office for those who seem to be in control of, well, everything and it comes a very different kind of movie. It's not a perfect movie by any means, but I really enjoyed it. When it jumped from surreal to reality it was seamless. It was great to see Winona Ryder back on the big 'screen' and she did a fabulous job. I could swim in the pools of Baker's eyes and he did a good job too! Surprise hit, Mindy Cohn (who will always be known as the fat girl from the Facts of Life) as Blank's lesbian assistant. She has comedic timing down and was perfect in the role. Bite: Fun film, little too long, but good payoff. See this film!

ELEGY

ELEGY

George: Beautiful women are invisible.

David: Invisible? What the hell does that mean? Invisible? They jump out at you. A beautiful woman, she stands out. She stands apart. You can't miss her.

George: But we never actually see the person. We see the beautiful shell. We're blocked by the beauty barrier. Yeah, we're so dazzled by the outside that we never make it inside.

Ben Kingsley is David, a charismatic college Professor, who, unlike before, finds himself mesmerized by one of his students, Consuela Castillo, (Penelope Cruz) although she is half his age. A relationship develops and soon becomes intimate and full of life. He lives through her eyes, fresh and new, wholeheartedly immersing himself in her experiences. However, over time, she questions his participation in the relationship, while he sees it more as an affair. Where the flame burned, it then fizzles until again, it is cold and dark. Elegy is a moving and life affirming film, well written, acted and directed. Cruz lights up a room and could make a sack cloth dress look stunning. Kingsley is hot. Upon first glance, he is self assured and cocky. Once Consuela has his heart, he does nothing short of donning full armor to protect it. It is that fatal flaw, his need for unconditional love that ultimately smashes the relationship to bits. Can it be mended?

Big Bite: A wondrous look into two lives and the meaning of love and friendship. Muy bien!

VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA

VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA: "Speak English!"

Who would have guessed that one of film making's worst and scariest bad-guy Javier Bardem in No Country For Old Men, would turn into a Lothario, dripping with charisma and raw sexuality?

Vicky (Rebecca Hall) and Cristina (Scarlet Johansson) head off to Barcelona on a summer romp. Vicky is due to be married soon, to fit into her "role" as a woman, and Cristina is a restless soul, unsure of what she wants (but sure of what she doesn't want). It is there that they meet up with Juan Antonio (Bardem) who directly asks them both to join him on a plane trip to a nearby town and a night in bed. Despite all the warnings of how women need to act while traveling abroad, the two join him and the rest is a complicated Allen-esk tale of love, relationships, sensuality, romance and the complicated nature of combining all together. Woody is on top of his game with this film. The less I know of his personal life, the more I find myself enjoying his films. The dialogue was sharp and clever, but not pretentious. The plot held just enough suspense to keep it both real and enjoyable. The acting, by far, was top notch. It seems that Woody has his favorites and now it is Johansson. He wrote the part with her in mind and it shows. Hall and Bardem are also just right for their roles. However, it is Penelope Cruz, Maria Elena, Juan Antonio's ex-wife who cuts through the story like a wildfire. She is the perfect passionate Latina who is just crazy enough to be exciting and engaging. Just when the story takes another turn and you start to predict, you are thrown into another direction, much like Bardem who had to learn to drive for this film. This film is enjoyable and endearing, from the writing to the actors. The only explosion comes from Cruz and the chase scenes are much more sensual than frightening. Not to be missed.
BIG bite: Thoroughly entertaining and mesmerizing. Another tightly woven piece of film making art.

GOOD LUCK CHUCK

GOOD LUCK CHUCK SUCKS

Comedian Dane Cook is Chuck, that 'one guy' you date and then after breaking up with him you find the real man you're supposed to marry; at least that's the premise of the movie. So this turns into an "urban myth" and women are flocking to be with him, except for the one he can't have. Jessica Alba is Cam, the ultra clumsy, but beautiful and sweet "girl next door"; at least that's the premise of this character. She has heard the rumor and won't date him until he finally endears himself to her. No need for further mention unless you want me to get mean. This movie, and especially Dane Cook, is like a vibrator; nice at a low setting, but way too much stimulation when turned on high. He has his moments (few and far between) when he's funny, but there are way too many moments when he grates on you. He has a friend; no need for further mention unless you want me to get mean and vulgar... okay, more vulgar and crude. I think they were trying to pull a SOMETHING ABOUT MARY and got lost. I felt embarrassed Not a Pick: Not as bad as I expected, but not better than that. You can sit this one out.