DAY ZERO

DAY ZERO: (NO) FIRE IN THE HOLE
This is what happens when a potential film goes bad. Three buddies, Aaron, James and George (Elija Wood, Jon Bernthal and Chris Klein) have been drafted by the military since the draft has been reinstated. This is a drama because it deals with war and how it hits so close to our homes as Americans. Give me a break! What a piece of crap this is. Each actor trying to make their well rehearsed monologues come across as dialogue instead of speeches. If you survive the preachy politics and keep watching, you will see the predictable "development" of each character. Unfortunately it falls flat and mouth-to-mouth by Dr. McDreamy couldn't save it. The actors did the best they could and it still was lackluster at best. The two standouts were two of the supporting actresses, Ginnifer Goodwin and Alley Sheedy. Ginnifer was the wife of Klein who had survived a battle with cancer. Sheedy was the psychotherapist of Wood, who would file her nails or read magazines during his sessions. Both women were well acted and came off the page and had some life force. Overall, it was not enough to save the film, which wasn't enough to save our troops. [See also: Lions For Lambs]
NOT a pick: Political monologues do not a film make.

THE WALKER

THE WALKER NEEDS A CANE
"You've got to watch yourself; this is a brutal political climate. Whatever 'ruth' there was in this town, there's 'less' now than ever. -Carter Page III."

Some films are plot driven and some are character driven. This had a little of both and ended up muddied and shallow. 'Car' is played by Woody Harrelson, a man who escorts society women to social events. Unlike American Gigolo, this walking is just that; walking. Good thing too as Car also happens to be gay. The things that I couldn't shake was his thick Southern drawl. It's a mixture of the South and Truman Capote and not one I cared for much. So amidst the social functions, Car is a clever gossip; "just one of the girls" while meeting for their weekly game of canasta. In the gaps between, we witness Car's social life, his long standing partner and just how most of him is illusion. The movie plot, or lack thereof, is nothing different that you can see on any episode of Law and Order. So that leaves Harrelson's performance. He has the capacity to be magical and powerful but in this movie he is flat and stale. It is a departure for most of what he usually does, and could have been lauded for it, but instead will be listed as one of the "rotten tomatoes".
NOT a pick: Watch Capote again for a better film than this.

LIE WITH ME

LIE WITH ME... Too shocked for caption
Leave it to the Canadians to come up with such a blatant in-your-face movie that leaves you with the cold slap of amazement. Why? Because, even through this movie is "un-rated" it gives 9 and 1/2 Weeks a run for its money. There is sex, lots of it, and FULL FRONTAL NUDITY on all accounts. The only actor I recognised was the male lead, David (Eric Balfour) who was Clare's boyfriend on Six Feet Under. Lauren Lee Smith as Leila is unknown to me and delicately beautiful. Leila is a young woman dealing with being young, having flaws and trying to deal with the bumpy road of life. I was pleasantly surprised to realize that I wanted to see the end of the film and find out where the characters landed. This is a fresh, raw and very different movie for us Americans.
PICK: After the shock comes a reward. Not flawless, but still a strong film.

21

21 WINS HIGH STAKES

"I had a 1590 on my SAT, I got a 44 on my MCAT, and I have a 4.0 GPA from MIT. I thought I had my life mapped out, but then I remembered what my non linear equations professor once told me, always account for variable change... I let down my good friends, but as it turns out, they weren't too bad at simple math either. I scored the prettiest girl in school. I got beaten down by an old school Vegas thug who was having trouble accepting his retirement, but I worked out a deal with him that got him a nice pension... And I lied to my mother, but I confessed a lie and well, she still loved me... So my senior year of college I joined this team and I learned this new skill. I went to Vegas 17 times to use it. I made hundreds of thousands of dollars counting cards. And then I had it all stolen from me, twice... How's that for life experience professor? Did I dazzle you? Did I jump off the page?"

No need to summarize when the monologue from our main character, Ben (Jim Sturgess) does it for me. Think Ocean's Eleven meets the Breakfast Club. What could be easier than to be smart, count cards and win money? Well, I think we all know what happens to young people and big money. Ben is sucked into the high life faster than a Hoover with a fresh bag. We all know things won't last, but how they happen and when is still a mystery. This is a very well executed movie. It had an entertaining pace; not too fast and not too slow. Spacey does a lovely job as the charismatic yet deeply selfish professor who takes advantage of his wiz kids. Sturgess makes believable the wide-eyed, amazing naive "nerd" who turns into "McLovin" the pimped out mac daddy. Strong supporting cast, especially Aaron Yoo as Choi, who makes for good comic relief. No masterpiece, but certainly worth a look.

PICK: Well done; entertaining and fun to watch. Sturdy work all around.

PENELOPE

PENELOPE HAS BIG NOSE AND BIGGER HEART
Once upon a time there was a girl named Penelope (Christina Ricci). She was a different looking kind of girl, but otherwise kind and sweet. On her way out exploring the world before unseen, she meets Max (James McAvoy) and Annie (Reese Witherspoon) and ends up in a most compromising situation. I loved this movie. It's a modern day fairy tale and carries with it the awe and wonder. Ricci was absolutely lovely. She could have played it like Amy Adams in Enchanted, but pulls back from the over the top acting and makes for a believable tale. Surprise of surprises, Witherspoon plays a more worldly woman who is slightly rough around the edges and it works for her. Again, not overdone, but in control and fun to watch. McAvoy is a conman/grifter who begins and ends his presence with two very different reasons. Catherine O'Hara and Peter Dinklage both offer well crafted roles, even if smaller ones. It is sweet and simple; not too lovey and not over the top. A rare find among the box office explosions, addictions and wars.

PICK: A sweet and simple fairy tale of modern times. Big pick!

MEET BILL

MEET BILL... MEET BILL'S BALLS... GO BILL, GO!

Meet Bill is a different kind of movie. There have been similar films; American Beauty, Weatherman to name a few, but to compare Aaron Eckhart in the smarmy roles we have seen to date (Company of Men, Thank You For Smoking, The Dark Knight) to Bill, a dull, boring loser is refreshing, surprising and realistic. He gets paired up with a con-man/rebellious teen only known to us as 'The Kid' (Logan Lerman) and that pair generate enough energy to fuel the whole movie. The one nice thing that makes this movie OUTstanding is the other pairing of two guys, Bill's brother and his partner. It is a rarity and a treat to see gay characters treated as real people, not stereotypes. This movie is quite 'grass-roots'; nothing typical nor expected but also not too shocking or out of left field. In the end, it is the end of our show and the start of the character's different paths. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. It has a quirky feel, compared with HBO's Six Feet Under. AND, this is the first movie where I almost liked Jessica Alba.

PICK: Very human characters and a fun look at ourselves; fun role for Aaron Eckhart.

SEMI PRO

SEMI PRO WAS WHOLE DISASTER
Will Ferrell (Jackie Moon) has given us a lot of funny performances over leaving Saturday Night Live. Old School was a great start. Zoolander, Anchor Man and Talledega Nights were amusing. But the magic is lost. I'm not sure if it is his acting (don't think so) or the directing or the script, but this film fell flat. The references to the 70's was cute until it became over done: Disco, mirrored ball, pong, roller rinks, Tab, Afros. The other thing that bothered me was the use of foul language. I appreciate cursing when it is appropriate and supportive to the character and/or role. In this movie, I felt like they just added expletives here and there haphazardly. What is up with Woody Harrelson (Monix) phoning this one in? There was absolutely no spark of life from him whatsoever; same goes for Maura Tierney. Was it off season for ER and she had nothing better to do? Blatant waste of two good actors. The plot is pretty generic. They need to raise a certain amount of money to save the (insert noun here) so they must act and make a stand. This same plot has been recycled in Dodge Ball, Ocean's 26, Hot Rod, and Happy Gilmore to name a few. It was a good concept, poorly executed.
NOT a pick: Lots of "soul" but no heart. This movie doesn't deliver.

IN BRUGES

IN BRUGES PUT ME IN STITCHES
"Ken: You from the States? Jimmy: Yeah. But don't hold it against me.
Ken: I'll try not to... Just try not to say anything too loud or crass."

First, the British hate Americans. (RE: above quote from movie). Second, what a f#@*ing fantastic movie! It is a comedy, romance, drama, suspense and action movie all in one! F*@$! Yes, be forewarned that this film contains the 'f-bomb' dropped 126 times. Watch the DVD extra where all of them are spliced together. I f*%&ing loved this movie and yes, I would marry it. It was f#*&ing sharp, funny and clearly written (After you cut through the f*%$ing thick accents). The premise is that these two hit men have been instructed to go to Bruges to wait for further instruction. Ray (Colin Farrell) is antsy and nervous. He wants to be anywhere except f*#*ing Bruges. His partner, Ken, (Brendan Gleeson) is making the most of the situation and drags Ray to sight see... "shoot first, sight see later". The f*%#ing banter between them is lovely and fun. After a few days their trip becomes increasingly complicated, enter their f*$#ing boss, Harry Waters (Ralph Fiennes). One by one as things are revealed and unraveled, the movie draws you in as the rest of the world fades away; the mark of an excellent f*%$ing movie. The cast is f*&#ing superb and the acting is effortless. Bruges plays a huge part in the film and it all comes to a point at the end. If you are impervious to the 'f-bomb' make sure this is a movie you don't f*#%ing miss.
BIG PICK: On my list for the best f%#* ing movies this year. Very f*$&ing well done.

DRILBIT TAYLOR

DRILLBIT TAYLOR IS NO BOOT CAMP

"Drillbit Taylor: You'd be surprised, anything can be turned into a weapon of mayhem or destruction. Emmit: Even a puppy? Drillbit Taylor: Especially a puppy. The Germans used em' in World War I. De Hundin Schtorman, Lightning Dog. They'd attach dynamite to them,

Rommel did it, jerry bastard..."

An open letter to Owen Wilson:

Dear Owen (I can call you that right?) First, OMG, what are YOU doing reading my blog? Thank you so much. I have loved you from a far for many years. You had me at Bottle Rockets. Then Zoolander and then the other Ben Stiller, Wes Anderson movies. Considering we've never met, I will continue to adore you and laugh at your silly pranks. Call me anytime. Now, please don't take all this love away as I write the following. In fact, just scroll down to the next review. OK?

I have never been so let down by a movie than I was this one. I thought having Seth Rogen from Superbad would be funny. Instead, they mixed Superbad with crap and got Drillbit. The three kids in this film were almost identical to the 3 kids in Superbad. Except the three in Superbad knew how to act and were pretty funny and original. The dialogue falls flat and hollow. The script was just not heavy enough to pull in Owen Wilson. This was no doubt Owen Wilson's movie and we were all just watching him. If only he didn't have to read the script, it would have been great.
1/2 Pick: Only for Wilson fans, otherwise watch Superbad again and get some laughs.

JUMPER

JUMPER TAKES A BIG LEAP

"Let me tell you about my day so far. Coffee in Paris, surfed the Maldives. Took a little nap on Mount Kilimanjaro. Oh yeah, and I got digits from this Polish chick in Rijo. And then I jumped back for the final quarter of the NBA finals. Court side, of course. And all that was before lunch."

The end. Okay, but just a little more... because that's all there is, just a little more. Seemingly magically, our "jumper", David Rice, discovers he has a skill at 'teleporting' himself where ever in the world he wants to go just be willing it so. Of course he has to practise and then (of course) we find the bad guys who are looking for him. For once, I liked Hayden Christensen as David. He looked human; almost unrecognisably so. And for another 'once' I found Samuel Jackson lacking as a bad guy with a VERY bad hair day. If this movie had more of a sarcastic wit, it might have worked. Both actors played it cool, not terribly so, but enough to wish they knew how funny they looked. It almost reminded me of the Harry Potter series, with less special effects. It was passable and watchable, but before the ending could crescendo, it is left open. This means that they had so much faith in this film they were ready for another. Too large a step for a movie about "being there".
1/2 PICK: Only because it was mildly entertaining, but not much more so.

VANTAGE POINT

VANTAGE POINT HAS GOOD VIEW

"8 Strangers. 8 Points of View. 1 Truth."

Perhaps too many films before this have already done this before. After Vantage Point begins, runs for a few minutes, well into the action, it rewinds. Each time it rewinds we see the same event only by a different "vantage point". So as the views unravel, we find out who is on the good side and who is on the bad side and what this single event could mean... in a world where there would be so many flaws in the story that it just wouldn't be viable. This film is multidimensional and keeps a good pace at pulling the viewer closer and closer. What the film also does is ask more questions that never get answered. If you can suspend reality and take it for an interesting movie, then it is worth the look. No one over-acted anyone else or stood out. The ending was pretty hard to swallow (cue the music) but I did find it entertaining.

1/2 PICK: Neat little package if you don't watch the news or the President or anything real.

THE ATTIC

THE ATTIC IS DUSTY AND TERRIBLE
This blog was created to help my poor memory keep track of films I had watched after I re-rented and watched Little Children three times. So it is in that vein that I will admit to watching this "film". Trust me and save yourself the time and money. Luckily (Thank you Pierce County Library system!!!) this was a film I checked out from the library so I wasn't out the money. I would plead for the 88 minutes it stole from my life, except that I fast forwarded many times. I am compulsive about seeing a movie through to the end, even bad ones; however I did walk out of John Leguizamo's Pest circa 1997. There is no critiquing this movie as it really was that horrible; from the acting to the writing and everything in between.
NOT A PICK: Trust me and skip this one... even if it is free.

NUMB

NUMB aka CHANDLER IS DEPRESSED

"Hey look, I don't wanna hold you up, I just wanted to let you know that if you lost all your limbs, we'd still be together forever. I mean I really hope that doesn't happen because I think your limbs are pretty great. I would always try to make you smile when you're tired. I know you think that's pretty hard to do but I could do that. And you would never have to be scared to tell me anything. And if you like this shirt, I wouldn't take it off for a month.

And I would be more than willing to paint your grandmothers toenails so your grandfather doesn't have to do it anymore. You don't have to save me Sara. But I am going to love you for the rest of my life,

so things would be a lot better for me if you were around."

That paragraph is the force guiding this movie. Unless that "you had me at hello" speech really gets you, don't bother with Numb. My apologies to Matthew Perry, Hudson, the star of the film because he will always be 'Chandler Bing', his character on Friends. Hudson is a screenwriter with a terminal case of nothing. He tries pills, therapy, exercise, meditation... everything and anything to find meaning and emotion in his life. Ultimately he finds Sarah (Lynn Collins) who turns his frown upside down and everything is wonderful. Then it's not. Then it is again. YAWN... the end moral of the story is that love cures all. That's comforting to the millions of people who suffer with real mental illness on a daily basis. This film twirls into such a downward spiral the viewer can barely make it out alive. There is some witty writing but the delivery is a bit off. Might have been better with a different Chandler Bing, I mean Matthew Perry.
NOT a pick: Way too cheesy and unremarkable. Watch Friend's again on free TV.

CHARLIE BARTLETT

CHARLIE BARTLETT IS TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL

"People like you ARE THE REASON

people like me NEED MEDICATION"

A New Ferris Bueller for a new generation. Meet Charlie Bartlett (Anton Yelchen). Despite being well-to-do, he has been kicked out of every private school that his mom (Hope Davis) couldn't bribe to get him back in. The only answer left; public school. After the initial resistance to a new, well-spoken kid in school, Charlie finds a way to make friends, become popular and help his peers. I really liked this movie. I admit that I first just wanted to see another Robert Downey Jr. role (Principal Gardner) but soon into the movie, there was room for two reasons. Downey plays the straight man to Yelchen's Charlie and does an amazing job.There are some disturbing scenes where the fantasy of what Charlie does leeds to a serious outcome. The second is when Principal Gardner also realized the consequences to his actions (or lack thereof). Downey is lovely and so very human and lets Gardner carry his pain with misplaced anger and sarcasm. He is a man who has given up, in many ways, This is NOT your parent's Ferris Bueller, although it carries pieces of Some Kind Of Wonderful, and other John Huges films. You may wince through a scene or two even though it is mostly comedic. What was refreshing is that not everybody rides off to a happy ending. However the ending is truthful and touching. Hope Davis is wonderful as Charlie's upper-class mother on Xanax. Not a spectacular movie, however still well done and sharp.
PICK: Well done on all accounts: acting, directing, writing. Good job.

BE KIND REWIND

BE KIND REWIND... THE SWEEDED VERSION
The quick version: Mike and Jerry (Mos Def and Jack Black) are neighborhood pals. Mike works at a video shop owned by Mr. Fletcher (Danny Glover) and when Mr. Fletcher takes a couple of days off all hell breaks loose. Now, the long commentary: This film is unbelievable, implausible, unrealistic and just plain absurd. Mike seems like he took the short bus to school, while Jerry seems like he should be institutionalized. This film was a good idea that got lost on the way to becoming a real movie. That being said, there was something that was hard to label in this film. There was no big happy ending, but a plausible one. Included in that is the sense of community this film brought to the table. Despite all of the problems and criticism, it was sweet and heartfelt. No longer do we have a feeling of community. People drive to work each morning and may or may not wave when they see their neighbor, IF they even know them. The corner store has been replaced with big chain stores where you can check your own purchases out, not needing to make any personal contact. Amidst all this reality, we find a gem of a story about community pride. That is the very saving grace that earns this movie pick status. It is worth the lame parts just to see the good ones.
PICK: Not an average pick, but this story has real heart and a sweeded intent.