SMART PEOPLE

SMART PEOPLE IRONICALLY DUMB

As much as I enjoyed watching Sarah Jessica Parker not be Carrie Bradshaw for once, I didn't think there was enough in this film to be attractive. Granted Juno, I mean Ellen Page, always gives a solid performance, but it wasn't enough to float this movie. The magic was totally lost on Quaid's role and frankly, I didn't like him. I have gravitated to the imperfect people for just those reasons, but not this time. The ending was forced and unreal. I expected a lot more from this movie, but it didn't live up to the hype.

NOT a PICK: Snooty, rude and implausible.

MISS PETTIGREW LIVES FOR A DAY

MISS PETTIGREW LIVES FOR A DAY AND WHAT A DAY IT IS!

The time is 1938 and Miss Guinevere Pettigrew (portrayed magically by Frances McDormand) has not only just received the axe from her current job, but from the employment agency altogether. By hook or by crook, she needs money and needs it fast. Through a serious of good timing and clever tactics (and sharp writing) she finds herself employed with a popular and very social American actress/singer Delysia Lafosse (Amy Adams). Adams oozes a sweet sexuality and is perhaps the most perky actress I can name. The best, however, is when her realizes her true self and acts accordingly. Beforehand, she was to juggle her many gentlemen callers and Miss P. acts on her feet. There are no guns/gangs/murders/and if any, not much foul language. I was truly amazed and happily surprised at the width of this film, and at its end felt very much engaged to the characters. It may have been for one day, but wow, what a day!

PICK!: Not many films are as sweet and genuine. Excellent plot, acting and directing.

SHORTBUS

SHORTBUS

MORE THAN TRANSPORTATION FOR THE 'GIFTED AND THE CHALLENGED'

"As my dear departed friend Lotus Weinstock used to say: "I used to wanna change the world. Now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity."

-Justin Bond."

Try to hang on past the initial scenes of masturbation, sex, fetishes, orgies and nudity. John Cameron Mitchell, who brought us Hedwig and the Angry Inch has come up with another hole in one. If we, as a culture, can sit through the horrors of Saw (1-27), Aliens, PS I Love You and the nightly news, then what's wrong with a movie with graphic nudity? This is not just another goofy romp through several characters intersecting plot lines. This is a movie that was intentionally made to ruffle some feathers by asking: is sex bad? On first glance the film is pure camp and the actors are doing their own improvisation. There are no "names" in the cast. No faces to recognise. We are tossed into the movie as we watch three plot lines unfold and midway through the movie you realize that these people are not just the sex acts they portray. Past the sex and nudity, both very real, are complex characters and not stereotypes. As there is much improv, there isn't anything very clever or new except for the approach of the concept itself. How hard is it to look for actors who will have sex on camera who aren't porn actors? One of which includes the making of the movie. Aside from being hard to cast, it was difficult to make due to its content. Even with the anticlimactic ending (had to do that) it turned into a film about people who have relationship issues regardless of their orientation. I was all set to slander this film, but I turned out to like it for the big picture and it engaged me to care about these messy lives. After all, aren't all our lives a little bit messy?
PICK: Not for everyone but also not pornographic. A film about sex which is okay.

DAY ZERO

DAY ZERO: (NO) FIRE IN THE HOLE
This is what happens when a potential film goes bad. Three buddies, Aaron, James and George (Elija Wood, Jon Bernthal and Chris Klein) have been drafted by the military since the draft has been reinstated. This is a drama because it deals with war and how it hits so close to our homes as Americans. Give me a break! What a piece of crap this is. Each actor trying to make their well rehearsed monologues come across as dialogue instead of speeches. If you survive the preachy politics and keep watching, you will see the predictable "development" of each character. Unfortunately it falls flat and mouth-to-mouth by Dr. McDreamy couldn't save it. The actors did the best they could and it still was lackluster at best. The two standouts were two of the supporting actresses, Ginnifer Goodwin and Alley Sheedy. Ginnifer was the wife of Klein who had survived a battle with cancer. Sheedy was the psychotherapist of Wood, who would file her nails or read magazines during his sessions. Both women were well acted and came off the page and had some life force. Overall, it was not enough to save the film, which wasn't enough to save our troops. [See also: Lions For Lambs]
NOT a pick: Political monologues do not a film make.

THE WALKER

THE WALKER NEEDS A CANE
"You've got to watch yourself; this is a brutal political climate. Whatever 'ruth' there was in this town, there's 'less' now than ever. -Carter Page III."

Some films are plot driven and some are character driven. This had a little of both and ended up muddied and shallow. 'Car' is played by Woody Harrelson, a man who escorts society women to social events. Unlike American Gigolo, this walking is just that; walking. Good thing too as Car also happens to be gay. The things that I couldn't shake was his thick Southern drawl. It's a mixture of the South and Truman Capote and not one I cared for much. So amidst the social functions, Car is a clever gossip; "just one of the girls" while meeting for their weekly game of canasta. In the gaps between, we witness Car's social life, his long standing partner and just how most of him is illusion. The movie plot, or lack thereof, is nothing different that you can see on any episode of Law and Order. So that leaves Harrelson's performance. He has the capacity to be magical and powerful but in this movie he is flat and stale. It is a departure for most of what he usually does, and could have been lauded for it, but instead will be listed as one of the "rotten tomatoes".
NOT a pick: Watch Capote again for a better film than this.

LIE WITH ME

LIE WITH ME... Too shocked for caption
Leave it to the Canadians to come up with such a blatant in-your-face movie that leaves you with the cold slap of amazement. Why? Because, even through this movie is "un-rated" it gives 9 and 1/2 Weeks a run for its money. There is sex, lots of it, and FULL FRONTAL NUDITY on all accounts. The only actor I recognised was the male lead, David (Eric Balfour) who was Clare's boyfriend on Six Feet Under. Lauren Lee Smith as Leila is unknown to me and delicately beautiful. Leila is a young woman dealing with being young, having flaws and trying to deal with the bumpy road of life. I was pleasantly surprised to realize that I wanted to see the end of the film and find out where the characters landed. This is a fresh, raw and very different movie for us Americans.
PICK: After the shock comes a reward. Not flawless, but still a strong film.

21

21 WINS HIGH STAKES

"I had a 1590 on my SAT, I got a 44 on my MCAT, and I have a 4.0 GPA from MIT. I thought I had my life mapped out, but then I remembered what my non linear equations professor once told me, always account for variable change... I let down my good friends, but as it turns out, they weren't too bad at simple math either. I scored the prettiest girl in school. I got beaten down by an old school Vegas thug who was having trouble accepting his retirement, but I worked out a deal with him that got him a nice pension... And I lied to my mother, but I confessed a lie and well, she still loved me... So my senior year of college I joined this team and I learned this new skill. I went to Vegas 17 times to use it. I made hundreds of thousands of dollars counting cards. And then I had it all stolen from me, twice... How's that for life experience professor? Did I dazzle you? Did I jump off the page?"

No need to summarize when the monologue from our main character, Ben (Jim Sturgess) does it for me. Think Ocean's Eleven meets the Breakfast Club. What could be easier than to be smart, count cards and win money? Well, I think we all know what happens to young people and big money. Ben is sucked into the high life faster than a Hoover with a fresh bag. We all know things won't last, but how they happen and when is still a mystery. This is a very well executed movie. It had an entertaining pace; not too fast and not too slow. Spacey does a lovely job as the charismatic yet deeply selfish professor who takes advantage of his wiz kids. Sturgess makes believable the wide-eyed, amazing naive "nerd" who turns into "McLovin" the pimped out mac daddy. Strong supporting cast, especially Aaron Yoo as Choi, who makes for good comic relief. No masterpiece, but certainly worth a look.

PICK: Well done; entertaining and fun to watch. Sturdy work all around.

PENELOPE

PENELOPE HAS BIG NOSE AND BIGGER HEART
Once upon a time there was a girl named Penelope (Christina Ricci). She was a different looking kind of girl, but otherwise kind and sweet. On her way out exploring the world before unseen, she meets Max (James McAvoy) and Annie (Reese Witherspoon) and ends up in a most compromising situation. I loved this movie. It's a modern day fairy tale and carries with it the awe and wonder. Ricci was absolutely lovely. She could have played it like Amy Adams in Enchanted, but pulls back from the over the top acting and makes for a believable tale. Surprise of surprises, Witherspoon plays a more worldly woman who is slightly rough around the edges and it works for her. Again, not overdone, but in control and fun to watch. McAvoy is a conman/grifter who begins and ends his presence with two very different reasons. Catherine O'Hara and Peter Dinklage both offer well crafted roles, even if smaller ones. It is sweet and simple; not too lovey and not over the top. A rare find among the box office explosions, addictions and wars.

PICK: A sweet and simple fairy tale of modern times. Big pick!

MEET BILL

MEET BILL... MEET BILL'S BALLS... GO BILL, GO!

Meet Bill is a different kind of movie. There have been similar films; American Beauty, Weatherman to name a few, but to compare Aaron Eckhart in the smarmy roles we have seen to date (Company of Men, Thank You For Smoking, The Dark Knight) to Bill, a dull, boring loser is refreshing, surprising and realistic. He gets paired up with a con-man/rebellious teen only known to us as 'The Kid' (Logan Lerman) and that pair generate enough energy to fuel the whole movie. The one nice thing that makes this movie OUTstanding is the other pairing of two guys, Bill's brother and his partner. It is a rarity and a treat to see gay characters treated as real people, not stereotypes. This movie is quite 'grass-roots'; nothing typical nor expected but also not too shocking or out of left field. In the end, it is the end of our show and the start of the character's different paths. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. It has a quirky feel, compared with HBO's Six Feet Under. AND, this is the first movie where I almost liked Jessica Alba.

PICK: Very human characters and a fun look at ourselves; fun role for Aaron Eckhart.

SEMI PRO

SEMI PRO WAS WHOLE DISASTER
Will Ferrell (Jackie Moon) has given us a lot of funny performances over leaving Saturday Night Live. Old School was a great start. Zoolander, Anchor Man and Talledega Nights were amusing. But the magic is lost. I'm not sure if it is his acting (don't think so) or the directing or the script, but this film fell flat. The references to the 70's was cute until it became over done: Disco, mirrored ball, pong, roller rinks, Tab, Afros. The other thing that bothered me was the use of foul language. I appreciate cursing when it is appropriate and supportive to the character and/or role. In this movie, I felt like they just added expletives here and there haphazardly. What is up with Woody Harrelson (Monix) phoning this one in? There was absolutely no spark of life from him whatsoever; same goes for Maura Tierney. Was it off season for ER and she had nothing better to do? Blatant waste of two good actors. The plot is pretty generic. They need to raise a certain amount of money to save the (insert noun here) so they must act and make a stand. This same plot has been recycled in Dodge Ball, Ocean's 26, Hot Rod, and Happy Gilmore to name a few. It was a good concept, poorly executed.
NOT a pick: Lots of "soul" but no heart. This movie doesn't deliver.

IN BRUGES

IN BRUGES PUT ME IN STITCHES
"Ken: You from the States? Jimmy: Yeah. But don't hold it against me.
Ken: I'll try not to... Just try not to say anything too loud or crass."

First, the British hate Americans. (RE: above quote from movie). Second, what a f#@*ing fantastic movie! It is a comedy, romance, drama, suspense and action movie all in one! F*@$! Yes, be forewarned that this film contains the 'f-bomb' dropped 126 times. Watch the DVD extra where all of them are spliced together. I f*%&ing loved this movie and yes, I would marry it. It was f#*&ing sharp, funny and clearly written (After you cut through the f*%$ing thick accents). The premise is that these two hit men have been instructed to go to Bruges to wait for further instruction. Ray (Colin Farrell) is antsy and nervous. He wants to be anywhere except f*#*ing Bruges. His partner, Ken, (Brendan Gleeson) is making the most of the situation and drags Ray to sight see... "shoot first, sight see later". The f*%#ing banter between them is lovely and fun. After a few days their trip becomes increasingly complicated, enter their f*$#ing boss, Harry Waters (Ralph Fiennes). One by one as things are revealed and unraveled, the movie draws you in as the rest of the world fades away; the mark of an excellent f*%$ing movie. The cast is f*&#ing superb and the acting is effortless. Bruges plays a huge part in the film and it all comes to a point at the end. If you are impervious to the 'f-bomb' make sure this is a movie you don't f*#%ing miss.
BIG PICK: On my list for the best f%#* ing movies this year. Very f*$&ing well done.

DRILBIT TAYLOR

DRILLBIT TAYLOR IS NO BOOT CAMP

"Drillbit Taylor: You'd be surprised, anything can be turned into a weapon of mayhem or destruction. Emmit: Even a puppy? Drillbit Taylor: Especially a puppy. The Germans used em' in World War I. De Hundin Schtorman, Lightning Dog. They'd attach dynamite to them,

Rommel did it, jerry bastard..."

An open letter to Owen Wilson:

Dear Owen (I can call you that right?) First, OMG, what are YOU doing reading my blog? Thank you so much. I have loved you from a far for many years. You had me at Bottle Rockets. Then Zoolander and then the other Ben Stiller, Wes Anderson movies. Considering we've never met, I will continue to adore you and laugh at your silly pranks. Call me anytime. Now, please don't take all this love away as I write the following. In fact, just scroll down to the next review. OK?

I have never been so let down by a movie than I was this one. I thought having Seth Rogen from Superbad would be funny. Instead, they mixed Superbad with crap and got Drillbit. The three kids in this film were almost identical to the 3 kids in Superbad. Except the three in Superbad knew how to act and were pretty funny and original. The dialogue falls flat and hollow. The script was just not heavy enough to pull in Owen Wilson. This was no doubt Owen Wilson's movie and we were all just watching him. If only he didn't have to read the script, it would have been great.
1/2 Pick: Only for Wilson fans, otherwise watch Superbad again and get some laughs.

JUMPER

JUMPER TAKES A BIG LEAP

"Let me tell you about my day so far. Coffee in Paris, surfed the Maldives. Took a little nap on Mount Kilimanjaro. Oh yeah, and I got digits from this Polish chick in Rijo. And then I jumped back for the final quarter of the NBA finals. Court side, of course. And all that was before lunch."

The end. Okay, but just a little more... because that's all there is, just a little more. Seemingly magically, our "jumper", David Rice, discovers he has a skill at 'teleporting' himself where ever in the world he wants to go just be willing it so. Of course he has to practise and then (of course) we find the bad guys who are looking for him. For once, I liked Hayden Christensen as David. He looked human; almost unrecognisably so. And for another 'once' I found Samuel Jackson lacking as a bad guy with a VERY bad hair day. If this movie had more of a sarcastic wit, it might have worked. Both actors played it cool, not terribly so, but enough to wish they knew how funny they looked. It almost reminded me of the Harry Potter series, with less special effects. It was passable and watchable, but before the ending could crescendo, it is left open. This means that they had so much faith in this film they were ready for another. Too large a step for a movie about "being there".
1/2 PICK: Only because it was mildly entertaining, but not much more so.

VANTAGE POINT

VANTAGE POINT HAS GOOD VIEW

"8 Strangers. 8 Points of View. 1 Truth."

Perhaps too many films before this have already done this before. After Vantage Point begins, runs for a few minutes, well into the action, it rewinds. Each time it rewinds we see the same event only by a different "vantage point". So as the views unravel, we find out who is on the good side and who is on the bad side and what this single event could mean... in a world where there would be so many flaws in the story that it just wouldn't be viable. This film is multidimensional and keeps a good pace at pulling the viewer closer and closer. What the film also does is ask more questions that never get answered. If you can suspend reality and take it for an interesting movie, then it is worth the look. No one over-acted anyone else or stood out. The ending was pretty hard to swallow (cue the music) but I did find it entertaining.

1/2 PICK: Neat little package if you don't watch the news or the President or anything real.

THE ATTIC

THE ATTIC IS DUSTY AND TERRIBLE
This blog was created to help my poor memory keep track of films I had watched after I re-rented and watched Little Children three times. So it is in that vein that I will admit to watching this "film". Trust me and save yourself the time and money. Luckily (Thank you Pierce County Library system!!!) this was a film I checked out from the library so I wasn't out the money. I would plead for the 88 minutes it stole from my life, except that I fast forwarded many times. I am compulsive about seeing a movie through to the end, even bad ones; however I did walk out of John Leguizamo's Pest circa 1997. There is no critiquing this movie as it really was that horrible; from the acting to the writing and everything in between.
NOT A PICK: Trust me and skip this one... even if it is free.