DATE NIGHT: CANCEL THIS DATE

From the writer who brought you Shrek... how high were our expectations for this film?! How can a movie staring two of the funniest actors turn out so bad? A terrible script. Just watch the gag reel at the end of the film to see that pairing these two together was a great idea, just not for this film. It was silly, boring and tiresome with an utterly predictable plot. The boring married couple try to spice up their lives by going into the City for dinner instead of the Denny's down the street and simply by taking someone elses reservation (what bastard would do that!?) they are led into a plot that feels much like a Three's Company episode. Tina Fey and Steve Carell are the Foster's and they are funny; just not in the way the film intended. This is the first movie where I actually felt embarrassed for the actors. How many times does the plot have to be explained by the characters in their dialogues? It was just terrible. Worse than that at 88 minutes it was still too long. The only thing that kept my interest was the many visits to Marky Mark Wahlberg without a shirt and even that grew tiresome. Go out on a date, just don't waste your time watching this dud.

ABANDONED: IS THE LEAST THIS FILM DESERVES TO BE

Staring at the skeletal shell that was once Brittany Murphy, this movie is one to be missed. Weak story, bad acting and terrible everything else. I fast forwarded during the many chase scenes but that still did not help. Do not see this movie. It is a waste to time and a poor memory of someone who deserves to rest in peace.

GHOST WRITER: SUPER FILM NOIR

The Ghost: Did you ever want to be a proper politician in your own right?
Ruth Lang: Of course, didn't you want to be a proper writer?

Roman Polanski is alive and well and still making excellent movies. This time we are brought into the world of a super politico, much like Tony Blair, who is being investigated for some unsavory crimes. Pierce Brosnan is Ex-Prime Minister Andrew Lang who is working on a book with a ghost writer that has come up dead on a beach. Cue Ewan McGregor as Ghost number two who enters softly and is brought up to speed much like a college hazing gone bad about the chaos he has surrounded himself with. What starts off as a slow and reasonable movie whips into a fury with an ending that spins out of control. McGregor is solid as the man whose normal boring life turns upside down. Brosnan is equally on par with McGregor. Who we don't see coming is Ruth Lang (Olivia Williams) the long suffering wife. Kim Cattrall makes an appearance as an actress despite her recent work on the SITC movie. The accent threw me a little, but otherwise she is poised. This was a really well done film and it's shame that Polanski's real life worries get in the way of how his work is viewed. Similarly it is interesting to note the similarities between the exiled ex-Prime Minister and Polanski's issues. Must see film.

AFTER.LIFE: DON'T BE SWAYED BY AN ALL STAR CAST

Eliot Deacon: I thought you were different.

You all say you're scared of death, but the truth is you're more scared of life.

Thank you Redbox! I love only spending a dollar on films that turn out really bad. This was one of them. Christina Ricci plays a schoolteacher who is having trouble trusting the boyfriend (Justin Long) who wants to marry her. After an argument, she gets in a car accident and "wakes up" in the morgue of a local funeral home. It is there that mortician Elliot Deacon (Liam Neeson) spends the rest of the movie convincing her that she is indeed dead and prepares her for her funeral. The whole movie just about centers on this theme of living life and how life is wasted and it is only at the end that our worst suspicions are confirmed and the film takes on more of a horror film air. Ricci practically sleepwalks through this film except that she over acts and one doesn't counter the other. Neeson is misplaced and how they got him to do this is beyond me. Long I don't care much about but he over did it just as much as everyone else. This was just a plain bad film. Thank you Redbox!

SEX IN THE CITY II: PASSPORT TO NOWHERE

Unless you're a big fan of SITC, don't even bother with this "film". I am a fan of the HBO series and I barely enjoyed this one. It wasn't such a movie as it was meeting up with friends you haven't seen in a long time for coffee and gossip. This time, on a much lighter note, the ladies travel to Abu Dhabi for some Samantha reason and get to spend time in a lavish mirage in the desert. Who wears Prada when you know you are going to be sweating? Of course Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) runs into ex-flame Aidan (John Corbett) and there is some... wait, the plot really doesn't matter. Unless you know SITC and its cast and characters DON'T SEE THIS FILM. I might say that if you DO know, but it is always slightly fun to catch up with the "girls". Nonetheless, it is a pretty bad movie. Save the time and read the reviews online and use your imagination instead.

THE BOOK OF ELI: ENTERTAINING ENOUGH

How many post apocalyptic movies can one take in? This one was definitely more stylized than The Messenger, but it also lacked something. So something we all take for granted when checking into the Best Western ends up saving the world? And I mean saving the world. The outlaw wild post apocalyptic west is being run by Gary Oldman who is one of the few left who can read and has desperate men out rummaging for books. Eli (a very cool Denzel Washington) is a traveler who has an appointment to keep and is ready to blast through whoever he must to get there, although he would rather not when given the choice. The ending was clever and the plot twist worth all the film's shortcomings. This isn't my first pick, but it held my attention and was interesting enough.

THE GOODS: LIVE HARD, SELL HARD: WATCH SOFT

It's Jeremy Piven's movie and we're just watching it. He is Don Ready, a car salesman who acts as a gun for hire to other car lots in need. He knows all the tricks to push the cars right off the lot and talks as smooth as a baby's behind. This movie, isn't. It's crude and vulgar and really silly in some parts. However there is just enough star power and fun that it is worth the watch. Will Ferrell has a small but powerful bit. It feels like the Ari Goldman show, Piven's role from Entourage, but he is still fun and it made for an entertaining film. Not a great film by any means, but something entertaining and silly.

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS? WASN'T THAT BAD

I too am swayed by the reviews I read and combined with watching the previews I was sure I would miss this one. However, when faced with slim pickings at the library and a boring night sewing and needing something to make noise in the background, there I was watching this film. It's totally predictable: two New Yorkers, a couple on the verge of divorce (Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker who seems terminally trapped in New York) witness mob activity and now have to be relocated by the officials for their own safety. Of course they are relocated to the podunkiest town in all of the US and are shocked to see how the simple cowboy people live. It's a predictable script, with less than stellar dialogue and there is NO chemistry between Grant and Parker. Other than that, it was an okay movie. It was simple and fluffy and sometimes that's what's called for in a situation. There were some funny moments and some sweet moments and I LOVE Sam Elliott and Mary Steenburgen as the host family for these two. The best parts are with Elliott. It's lighthearted and silly and it really wasn't that bad. Not a rave review, but you never know when you'll be in a similar situation!

KICK ASS: KICKS

Dave Lizewski: Like most people my age, I just existed.

Who doesn't fantasize about being a superhero; kicking ass, taking names, having a secret identity? Well, nerdy geek Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson: look for this BRIT in the biopic of John Lennon, Nowhere Boy) does one better and actually decides to not just sit by and watch bad things happen. He creates a "super hero" with costume and everything. Thing is, he doesn't have any special training or skills so on his first venture out, he pretty much gets his ass kicked, hence the nickname "Ass Kick". The one who gives him that name is Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage) who ends up stepping in, dressed in his Batman gear, with his best Christian Bale bat voice and saving Dave's behind. The most controversial addition to the mix is Hit Girl (Chloe Moretz) who is Big Daddy's daughter, programmed and trained as an assassin in efforts for her father's big revenge scheme. Her foul mouth and ability to kill without blinking is a BIG upset in the movie genre. While there is the comic relief, this film walks a fine line between comedic drama and dark action flick. Poor "17 forever" Christopher Mintz-Plasse offers a light touch with his own addition to the unequipped super hero as Red Mist and makes for a funny driving sequence with Kick Ass. There is no dispute that Hit Girl steals the show. They way she does it is dark and disturbing and equally compelling. She is my new hero. Of course production has begun on the sequel and it will be interesting to see where they go next. Hands down, my new favorite movie; funny, exciting, dramatic and full of action.

THE LOSERS: BLOW EM UP WINNING GOOD TIME

Jensen: Did you know that cats can make one thousand different sounds and dogs can only make ten? Cats, man. Not to be trusted.

Yes, this is dialogue from one of the most shoot-em-up movies I've seen to date. As I write this review, the testosterone drips from my keyboard (which is really sick) but also dripping is the sarcasm and one liners that breathed humor into what could have been a flat, too serious, bang-bang film. So we start with military misfits Clay (team leader and handsome Jeffery Dean Morgan), Jensen (funny dorky guy Chris Evans), Roque (dangerous Idris Elba), Pooch (likable Columbus Short) and Cougar (hot Oscar Jaenada-but how did he keep long hair when in service?!) who save children from a war zone but they are killed anyway as the transport was meant for them, not the children. After going off the grid, they are found by the new and improved Thandie Newton aka: Zoe Saldana (Aisha) who makes the group leader an offer he can't refuse. There are tons of explosions, gunfire, dead bodies and the requisite bad guy, Max (Jason Patric) who everyone wants dead. The best use of a Journey song gets awarded to this movie (nope, not giving it away). It is done well, looks good, whatever isn't believable doesn't matter because it's fun. I HATED the ending because although they saved the world (so to speak) the bad guy got away, of course for the sequel, presumably. It was a bit predictable, but the sole fact that they had a sense of humor and looked like they were having fun making the movie really made it entertaining. Worth watching!

TENDERNESS: AN ODD MIX OF DRAMA AND SUSPENSE

At first I hated this movie. It played more like a Lifetime movie of the week. Even at their worst, I can usually watch until then end and I'm glad I did with this one. Eric Poole (Jon Foster) is being released from a juvenile detention center after, we come to find out later, killing his parents. His actions were blamed on an antidepressant he was made to take and now he can walk free. Except that Lieutenant Cristofuoro (Russell Crowe) is quite certain he will kill again and plans to watch his every move. One thing happens after another and a waifish, throwaway girl, Lori, (Sophie Traub) deliberately crosses his path and winds her way into his life. Not knowing what to do, he puts up with her as she tags along, seemingly not understanding his capacity to kill. There isn't much more to say without giving things away, but one twist comes after another and another until you're dizzy trying to process all that has just taken place in an otherwise slow paced film. These twists are among the best I've seen staying within the limits of believability and rationale. The girl isn't terribly likable and is often annoying, until you realize the nature of her character and how she got that way. Foster does a good job of wearing his thoughts like a mask. Crowe could have been anyone and I was surprised that he was in this with no other names aside from Laura Dern, who was also a bit out of place. What I appreciated most was the way that you thought it would end isn't and the irritation you once felt disappears once you understand where the story really began. I thought they did a really nice job on this if only for the ending.

HOT TUB TIME MACHINE: THE TITLE SPEAKS FOR ITSELF

Nick: It must be some kind of hot tub time machine...

John Cusack has been reported to admit he agreed to do the movie just by the title itself. Combine that with the fact that Cusack was an up and comer during that time made this the perfect, if not just plain fun movie to do for a few extra bucks. Adam (John Cusack), Lou (Rob Corddry), and Nick (Craig Robinson) are lifelong friends who are unhappy with their lives. Along with Adam's nephew, Jacob (Clark Duke) they take a ski trip to their favorite past haunt, only to find everything in shambles. When all else fails, they get wasted and wake up to find themselves back in 1986, when everything was in fine form, including themselves. Chevy Chase plays the "I know the key to it all" handyman there to fix the hot tub, but also advises the boys to do the exact same things they did back then so as not to, well, the butterfly effect (with Ashton Kutcher). They have all the requisite 80's references and music and some nods to Cusack's earlier movies. It's fun. They know they are being silly and they are having a good time with it. The humor was a little crude and it wasn't rocket science, but fun to watch for those of us still stuck in the 80's without a hot tub.

GREENBERG: NOT MUCH TO SAY ON THIS ONE

Ivan Schrank: Youth is wasted on the young.
Roger: I'd go further. I'd go: 'Life is wasted on people.'

I really looked forward to the release of this film as I missed it in theaters. I love Ben Stiller as an actor (as opposed to a plumber, no I mean as opposed to his comedic roles, which I also enjoy). This role, however, just didn't do it for me. Roger Greenberg (Stiller) is going through a 40-something midlife crisis, but he's doing it more reflectively than should be filmed. There was little to no plot, a slow pace and aside from the writing and the acceptable performances, there was nothing. I like to either be entertained or moved or enlightened or excited (wink wink) but I got nothing from this film. It wasn't a bad film. It was just so subtle that I didn't notice it playing in my DVD player. It's okay to pass on this one.

THE VICIOUS KIND: AN ODD COMEDY AND DRAMA ALL IN ONE

Caleb Sinclaire:You know there are whores, right? All of 'em. I'm not just talking about the little skanks that hang out around your dorm, or frat, or whatever. But actually every woman you've ever known, and every woman you'll ever meet - Mom, Grandma, Aunt Ellen.
The fact that they're related to us doesn't make any difference.
Cause at the end of the day, given the right set of events, they *will* fuck you over. For the sole reason that they have a vagina, and they can.

So obviously Caleb (Adam Scott) has some issues that need addressing. In fact, for the most part of this film he is a most unlikeable, asshole; and of course, the most interesting. Little by little we find out that Caleb had a relationship that ended on a sour note and he's had trouble getting past it and moving on. He's also had trouble getting past some issues with his dad (the new popular dad about town, J.K. Simmons) but seems fond if overly protective of his brother who has brought his new girlfriend (Brittanny Snow) home from college to celebrate Thanksgiving. Caleb compels interest and as the layers peel away, we find a much different man than the movie begins with. This is quite the "quirky" film, not for everyone. However as much as I laughed and watched with my mouth wide in awe, I also felt deeply for him at the end and for the dynamics that every family seems to share; dysfunction. I really liked this movie.

WHEN YOU'RE STRANGE: TOP NOTCH DOORS DOCUMENTARY

At first it's odd to adjust to seeing Jim Morrison's face not looking like Val Kilmer. What a difference the truth makes. Johnny Depp narrates this journey of a few guys who just wanted to play some music and expand their consciousness to one of the greatest bands of all time. Please note, this is a documentary about the band, not about Jim Morrison. Moreover, it's a documentary about the music which when pushed up to maximum volume, sounds as clear and sharp and riveting as it did in the beginning. Director, Tom DiCillo presents old material injected with new footage. Watching this documentary is like viewing the band with fresh ears and eyes. It answers many questions and does so simply, no drama. Their performances and albums are synced with historical and cultural events; events that shaped our nation and their music. Jim, of course, has more screen time being the lead singer and focal train wreck and we are shown the creative, created chaos he strategically planned. The bonus features interviews with his since deceased father and his sister, who never seemed to have a voice previous to this project. Depps smooth voice competes with Morrison's throaty mix, but blends in rather than standing out. This may be a "for fans only" bit, except that I think this film could introduce a new generation to another kind of young angst. The good aren't the only ones who die young; so do the over indulged and hard lived. This is an outstanding testament to the band and its members. Fantastic work.