THE COVE: OUT-HORRORS HORROR FILMS

Sea World will never be the same again. This film is shocking and horrible and unbelievably true. In Japan, dolphins are being corralled, bought by the various institutions that use captive dolphins for hundreds of thousands of dollars and then forced into an inescapable cove where they are harpooned and stabbed. Boatloads of dolphins are carted off and the water is so red with their blood it looks like a bad horror movie effect. This documentary is well put together and the plan to capture this coup de grâs on film is nothing short of a tightly written and produced Hollywood feature.

GOOD HAIR: GREAT DOCUMENTARY

Chris Rock: How old were you when you first got your relaxer?

Maya Angelou: Oh god. I was about seventy.

Chris Rock: Seventy? You went your whole life...

Maya Angelou: Not my whole life, I'm still alive!

 

Did many people ever think they would see this kind of dialogue between one of our funniest comedians and one of our most distinguished writers? This is one of the best documentaries I have seen in some time. Chris Rock does an outstanding job of taking us on a tour of the regime of black hair care, which is different than any other hair type, and upkeep, from the funny to the sad. It's an informational film, providing both the history and biology behind what has and does go into styling black hair. He interviews celebrities as well as every day people who are also both funny and sad. The time and money that goes into this industry is astounding. Rock takes us to India to see where and how the hair for weaves is collected and sometimes stolen. What women do to themselves to make them more attractive is outlandish, painful and pricey, black or white. This movie, Rock has found an untold story that needed the attention and he does so beautifully. Major kudos all around.

Big bite: Loved this movie, both informative and astounding.

NEW YORK, I LOVE YOU... BUT I DON'T LOVE THIS MOVIE

A collection of short stories as told on celluloid, directed by different directors, each with their own small cast of actors and screaming with talented ones at that, this movie just didn't do it for me. There were too many moments, and not enough dots to connect the picture. Perhaps that was the point, how our lives are made up of these moments and that's just it. However, too many of these vignettes were too brief and hard to explain and it made it frustrating to watch. Unlike Paris je t'aime, the biggest character I missed was New York. I felt like there were just fleeting glimpses of the scenery rather than a true show of affection for the city. Very slow paced, even if dotted with one or two well written encounters. Excellent acting, waste of talent.
No bite: I'm sorry new York, N'pas je t'aime.

FAME: THE SOULESS REMAKE

I'm not "gonna live forever" if this is the updated version of the 1980's classic. Add some bubblegum, pop and a heavy beat and we find a film based on what should have been left alone. It was good to see the faculty, Broadway versed in real life, and interesting to see the younger talent; mind you the talent comment is not a rave review of their acting abilities. There were some seemingly authentic moments and good performances, but that does not make a movie earn the name Fame anywhere in it's title.
No bite: Rent the original, it's timeless.

PRECIOUS: BASED ON THE NOVEL PUSH BY SAPPHIRE

"My name is Clareece "Precious" Jones. I wish I had a light-skinned boyfriend with real nice hair. And I wanna be on the cover of a magazine. But first I wanna be in one of them BET videos. Momma said I can't dance. Plus, she said who wants to see my big ass dancing, anyhow? "

There is so little I can say about this movie but not because it was bad or poorly acted. On the contrary, it was such a strong and powerful movie, so well acted you forget that it is indeed acting. This is the story of a young woman who has everything in the world going against her and yet she still finds a way to not only keep going, but to persevere. Gabourey Sidibe stars as our young heroine and her lack of acting ability gives a realistic portrayal of her character. She is obese, black and pregnant, not a cute Juno girl. This is not a cute movie.

BAD LIEUTENANT, BAD MOVIE

Unlike Ferrara's 1992 "Bad Lieutenant", this was not meant as a remake, but it follows the same premise with a lighter approach; bad cop, yet with a sense of humor. What it turns out to be is a VERY long film that seems more David Lynchian than anything else. Nic Cage is the bad cop who albeit a small drug problem and questionable ethics, seems to be a pretty smart officer. So why he has to play dirty confused me. Eva Mendes makes a good whore and Val Kilmer doesn't have enough screen time and what he did have was pablum. It was a mildly engaging film, but needed so much editing and could have been faster and harder hitting that by the end, I just didn't care anymore.
Slight bite: I liked watching a wicked Nic Cage, but the rest was not enough.

ACROSS THE HALL IS NOT ENOUGH DISTANCE
I'll admit to watching this as it was one of Brittany Murphy's last film role. It sells itself as a thriller, but it's mainly a slow moving, sleepy attempt at a film noir. The pace is akin to walking through pudding and the acting just as lax. The "surprise" ending isn't and everything else is just as predictable.
Not even a nibble: Hard to stay awake through and meaningless.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY HAD ME UNTIL GOODBYE
Along the lines of the Blair Witch Project, we meet a lovely young couple, Katie (Katie Featherstone) and Micah (Micah Sloat) who live in a lovely home with a lovely life until really weird stuff starts happening to them, or rather, her. Micah is the overexcited boyfriend that wants to catch it all on tape for You-Tube while Katie just wants to find some peace of mind. The slow pace is forgivable, but the ending offers less than to be desired. It is Katie that gives the picture any sort of resemblance to a documentary and she does so very well. I prefer scary movies that aren't all blood and guts and this one was creepy enough to pass muster.
Bite: More thriller than horror with a misplaced ending, otherwise compelling.

THE BLIND SIDE: WAS BLIND, BUT NOW I SEE

Leigh Anne Touhy: If you so much as set foot downtown, you will be sorry. I'm in a prayer group with the D.A.,

I'm a member of the NRA and I'm always packing.

Leigh Anne Touhy is definitely a woman you want on your side. She's fiery, passionate and compassionate and this film is based on her ability to practice what she preached. The movie is about a successful family with a strong willed mother and wife at the helm leading her children to do their best, do what's right and do the good thing. Shortly after being abandoned by his mother, Michael Oher, a big, strapping hunk of a young man from "the other side" of the tracks collides with Touhy's force of nature and the rest makes for an inspirational film. Yes, there is a lot about sports and some notable football people make cameo appearances in the film, but it's not all just about football. It's about doing the right thing for the right reasons and showing kindness for no other reason but to do just that. Sandra Bullock easily won best actress for her portrayal of Touhy and she earned what didn't come easily. Quinton Aaron as Oher blends the best mix of naive young man with street smart witness and is humble and soft spoken. This film is about values and morals and following the path of the righteous. It has just the right mix of emotion and determination which makes it a pleasure and an honor to witness.

BIG bite: A valuable contribution and refreshing decent story.

BRIGHT STAR, BRIGHT FILM

A poem needs understanding through the senses. The point of diving into a lake is not immediately to swim to the shore but to be in the lake,

to luxuriate in the sensation of water.

You do not work the lake out, it is a experience beyond thought.

Poetry soothes and emboldens the soul to accept the mystery.

-John Keats

Brought to us on the wings of a dove by Jane Campion, this understated story is as much about the story telling as it is about the story itself. Simply put, it is a period piece about the poet John Keats (Ben Wishaw) and his love of Frances Cornish (Abbie Cornish) before his early death in his mid-twenties. If you can slow down to the mellow pace of the film, it surrounds your senses. Lush and rich, the greens are full and deep and have a feel to them. The wind blowing through the windows, making the curtains dance seem to leak out of the screen and through your hair. The bountiful fields of flowers and their velvet petals pale only to the fragile butterflies colored just as vibrant. It is a set, a scene where these two strangers fall deeply and madly in love with one another. Paul Schneider does an excellent job as Frances' rival for Keats attention as Charles Armitage Brown. The snippy dialogue between the two make for humor in a story where all else is so proper and prim. For the time, the love affair was made exciting and passionate. I did not find Wishaw to be a particularly handsome man and was surprised by the casting, but his acting and stance muted my objections. Even knowing the ending, I felt tears come watching Frances suffer from her grief from losing him to both his travels and his death. It was superb.

Big bite: A passionate tale told in a a fairy tale world of poetry itself. 

SURROGATES: THEY DON'T MAKE THEM LIKE THEY USED TO

Think Stepford Wives but easier to explain. In the future, people activate avatars who look and sound like they do while they stay at home hooked up to a computer. When we first meet our hero he looks young and well polished, until we discover that he is not exactly what his "surrogate" looks like. This happens with many people, as it does in the real world where people hook up to online games to become the powerful and almighty before being told to clean their rooms and do their homework. Good cop, Tom Greer's surrogate is destroyed and instead of opting for a loaner, he continues his investigation in his real world body. Will he survive?

THE STEPFATHER: WHO'S YOUR DADDY NOW?

A remake of the 1987 thriller by the same name with more skin shots. It was a disappointment to see Dylan Walsh who I adored in Nip/Tuck feel that he had to show the "bad guy" part of his acting chops. Pretty much of a waste of film.

No bite: May have well been a movie about garlic.

PAPER HEART, FLIMSY BODY

"Seth Rogen: Your love glass is half full."

Charlyne Yi can't speak. Watch the bonus features and see how many takes it took to get what you see on screen because she giggles and stutters and has no composure whatsoever. She is a geek, but that is part of her appeal so we let that suspension of reality go for the time being. She has decided, with director Nick Jasanovec (who hired an actor to portray him onscreen) to go on the road and travel to all sorts of places to meet all sorts of people to try to find out what love is.

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE IS

Carol: We were gonna make a whole world like this. Now, everyone used to come here, but you know... you know what it feels like when all your teeth are falling out really slowly and you don't realize and then you notice that, well, they're really far apart.

And then one day... you don't have any teeth anymore.

Max: Yeah.

Carol: Well it was like that.

Childhood can be a fatal condition. It's amazing that anyone ever grows up. Like many others I anticipated this film, dreaming of the magical kingdom that would emerge from Spike Jonze fertile imagination. Unlike many others, I was disappointed in the result. The story is an adaptation of the children's book by Maurice Sendak where a naughty boy gets sent to bed without his supper (by his mother Catherine Keener) and creates a magical world where he can be "wild".

THE INFORMANT

THE INFORMANT: BOY ARE MATT DAMON'S PANTS ON FIRE

Mark Whitacre: When polar bears hunt, they crouch down by a hole in the ice and wait for a seal to pop up. They keep one paw over their nose so that they blend in, because they've got those black noses. They'd blend in perfectly if not for the nose. So the question is, how do they know their noses are black? From looking at other polar bears? Do they see their reflections in the water and think, "I'd be invisible if not for that." That seems like a lot of thinking for a bear.

I loved this film!!! No car crashes, chase scenes, drug using or foul language and I still loved it!  Based on real life events and directed by Steven Soderbergh, Matt Damon is Mark Whitacre, the Vice President at an agricultural company, who decides to "blow the whistle" on his employers and their illegal price fixing practices. He joins with the FBI, Scott Bakula as Agent Brian Shepard and Joel McCale as agent Bob Herndon and begins an elaborate operation of recording conversations and meetings to strengthen the case. However, the FBI doesn't know that their star witness is Bipolar and his stories keep spinning a web so elaborate that even he can't keep track of what's real.