THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE

THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE: THE STORY OF AN ICON

Anna Wintour: I think what I often see it that people are frightened about fashion because it scares them or make them feel insecure they just put it down. On the whole people that may say, the mean things about our world I think that's usually because they feel, in some ways, excluded or, you know, not a part of 'the cool group' so as a result they just mock it.

Words of wisdom from a fashion icon. This film is a documentary about Vogue editor Anna Wintour and the equally iconic Fall issue of Vogue magazine that reaches upwards of 750 pages or so. It is mind bending to comprehend how our fashion choices are essentially dictated by by one powerful woman at the drop of a hat. I think the reason Wintour rubs people the wrong way is that she's a powerful woman. No powerful men have been called into question for being emotionless or cold.

THE BOX

THE BOX: HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE

Arlington Steward: I have an offer to make. If you push the button, two things will happen. First, someone, somewhere in the world, whom you don't know, will die. Second, you will receive a payment of one million dollars. You have 24 hours.

Somebody get me a cigarette fast because I have just been thoroughly mind f#&*ed! Maybe if had more Tang and sat through more Twilight Zone episodes in the '70's I could have made better sense of this film. I won't go into much detail except the year is 1976 and this nice Virginia suburban family is having money troubles. However, that's about to change.

2012

2012 PARTY OVER, ALMOST OUT OF TIME

"So tonight we're gonna party like it's 2012..." Yeah, the movie didn't work either. Damn solar flares! Just when you think you have the whole 'end of days' stuff down, the Mayan calendar comes along and within minutes, predicts the end of the world as we know it and I don't feel fine. So much buzz on this movie and SO much disappointment. Basically, the earth turns into a big pond and hurray, John Cusack and his family survive. Don't get me wrong, I love John Cusack and Amanda Peet, but come on. Yeah, that may be a spoiler, but too bad. If you can sit through that much of this film then you at least deserve to know the stupid and unreasonable and unrealistic ending. At 158 minutes, "2012" is Roland Emmerich's second-longest film and needs editing. Some of the special effects are kinda neat looking, but nothing groundbreaking or thrilling to watch. The characters are unbelievable and make likewise decisions during the course of the film. It just doesn't make sense. The realization of what is going on behind the special effects is sickening and for there to be some hint of a happy ending doesn't work. This was just a really poorly executed (bad pun) film with throwaway characters (except Woody Harrelson who was fun but wasted) (wasted as an actor not stoned) (although he might have been, who knows). I'm just glad I got the movie from Redbox and only had to pay a dollar. It wasn't worth it, but better than $9 at the theater.
Lack of a bite: Really bad movie

COUPLES RETREAT

COUPLES RETREAT NEEDS A RETREAT FROM THE RETREAT

Somebody in Entertainment Weekly, it may have been Stephen King, wrote that if the cover of the movie says "#1 Comedy in the Nation" it translates to mean, this movie is so not funny but we fooled everyone else into renting  it (because no one saw it in the theater), or something to that point. It certainly rings true with this dud. Despite have a feasibly competent cast this bromance for married men flops miserably. Vince Vaughn, his dad, Jon Favereau, Jason Bateman, Kristin Davis, Kristen Bell, and lots of others all disapppointed greatly. The only mildly interesting character was Carlos Ponce, Salvatore, the boundaryless yoga teacher who was also pleasing on the eyes. This movie was filmed in Bora Bora and is beautiful, but save the rental fee and get a travel brochure instead.

NO bite: Two pretty sights do not a good movie make. A waste of a cast and film.

ICE CASTLES

ICE CASTLES ARE EASILY BROKEN WHEN REMADE POORLY

If I sued remakes based on how terrible they were, I would be a rich woman. Going into the preliminaries I knew it would not be a good film. There was no star power, in fact, the lead, Lexi (Taylor Firth) is an ice skater NOT an actress... and it shows. The original Ice Castles wasn't Gone With The Wind, but it was simple and dopey and magical and romantic and had Robby Benson and Colleen Dewhurst and Tom Skerritt and you rooted for Lexi both before and after she got injured. There was chemistry between Nick and Lexi.

Nick Peterson: Here. There's a hand in front of you. Grab it.

Alexis Winston: What are you doing here?

Nick Peterson: [affectionately] Came to see you break your ass.

Alexis Winston: Can't see you very well. I don't know if you're kidding.

Nick Peterson: Just listen to my voice. I'm not kidding.

So much of a lack of a bite it's impossible to say: See the original. Cheesy, but so much better and romantically rewarding.

EXTRACT

EXTRACT MAKES FUN LITTLE FILM SWEET

Joel: What is it with women? Y'know, they say they don't care about looks - they just want a guy who's smart and funny - but they always just end up laughing at whatever the good-looking stupid guy says.

Mike Judge of Office Space and Beevis and Butthead fame has put together a film that has slipped under the radar. It is nowhere as good as Office Space, but it is entertaining and worth the watch. Jason Bateman is Joel Reynolds, a pretty ordinary guy who happens to run an extract bottling factory. He is literally surrounded by characters; his co-workers, nightmare of a  nieghbor, wanna be dude best friend and seemingly frigid wife played by Kristen Wiig, who seems to act in almost everything right now. The comedy lies in the subtly and Bateman has just the right control over both. Judge is all about characters and this movie is in no short supply.

PUBLIC ENEMIES

PUBLIC ENEMIES... 2 QUALITY HOURS OF JOHNNY DEPP

Melvin Purvis: What keeps you up nights, Mr. Dillinger?

John Dillinger: Coffee.

This is a story of a love affair between the law and public enemy number one, John Dillinger. Even though we know how the players in this story end up, it still is an interesting historical piece from Michael Mann's viewpoint. John Dillinger was a celebrity in his day. Women wanted him and men wanted to be like him, except for the men of the FBI.

WHIP IT

WHIP IT CRACKING GOOD FILM

"Whip It" was written by Shauna Cross, a former Roller Derby skater with the Los Angeles Derby Dolls. Cross skated under the name Maggie Mayhem with a team of rouge cops called the Sirens. Many of the teams, skaters, names and plot lines were inspired by Cross' time with the Derby Dolls. IMDB

Whip It is Drew Barrymore's directorial debut and she does a damn fine job. Bliss Cavendar (Ellen Page) is a Texas debutant who doesn't quite fit into the pagent circuit to the dismay of her mother. She pretty much plain old doesn't fit anywhere until she discovers roller derby.

WORLD'S GREATEST DAD

WORLD'S GREATEST DAD GREAT MOVIE

Claire: So, do you play sports?

Kyle: No, I'm a big spaz like my dad.
Lance Clayton: Well, I was in the dive team in college.

Kyle: Diving's not really a sport, it's falling.

Written and directed by Bobcat Goldthwait, this clever and original film has brain and beauty. Filmed in Seattle, Robin Williams is Lance Clayton, a single father and a teacher living a quiet existance with his dickhead of a son, Lyle.

GHOSTS OF GIRFRIEND'S PAST

GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIEND'S PAST NOT SCARY

Vonda Volkom: Spooning is nice.
Connor Mead: Yeah. But not as nice as forking.

Connor Mead is a typical asshole who thinks he's God's gift to women.

SHRINK

SHRINK IS DEFINITELY IN

"Henry Carter: It's all bullshit and then you die."

Henry Carter is a lost man. He is a therapist to a great many of the Hollywood used and broken but he himself is in pain, although you wouldn't know it by how much pot the guy smokes.

THE INVENTION OF LYING

THE INVENTION OF LYING FULL OF TRUTH

"When trying to secure Philip Seymour Hoffman for his cameo his agent claimed he was too busy so Ricky Gervais requested his email address and sent him the following: "Dear Philip, will you please appear in my new film? There is very little money involved as I spent the budget on testicular implants, but don't look upon them as my testicles, look at them as our testicles." Phillip Seymour Hoffman couldn't refuse after that."- IMDB

What a novel concept, a world where people don't lie. Here Ricky Gervais creates a world where people go around telling the truth and nothing but the truth.

THE HURT LOCKER

ACADEMY AWARD WINNER FOR BEST FILM AND FIRST TIME

BEST (FEMALE) DIRECTOR

THE HURT LOCKER: WAR IS HELL

"The rush of battle is often a potent and lethal addiction, for war is a drug." It bothers me when I hear to someone refer to the war in Iraq as a "conflict" or "situation". That's wrong. It is a war and in this film we are shown the front lines up close and personal and indeed, this war is hell.

This film is about a team of men in charge of disarming bombs. The loose cannon (pun intended) is an unpredictable soldier, SSgt William James (Jeremy Renner) whose actions come off as too loose and even dangerous to his team. He mainlines testosterone for breakfast. Renner does an incredible job of portraying this incredibly cocky and also incredibly skilled soldier. The movie is shot documentary style and his presence is more than acting, it's being. He is strong and filled with adrenaline but at the same time, has his moments of reflection and frustration. No doubt, Renner carries the film and is hypnotically easy on the eyes. He makes sweat look good. The film has little in the way of plot or story, but more like a situation and the people involved in it, mainly Renner.

FUNNY PEOPLE

FUNNY PEOPLE: NOT ALL THAT FUNNY FOR AN APATOW FILM

Yes, there is the trademark crude humor, but much less pot smoking in this almost dramatic film by Judd Apatow. We meet George Simmons (Adam Sandler) a comedian very much like Sandler who has had comic success in the movies and the comedy circuit. George learns he is sick and has to undergo experimental therapy to try to reverse the condition. With his concerns and faced with his mortality, he meets and then hires Ira (Seth Rogen) a struggling comic desperate for a chance to make it.

MOON

MOON: IT'S 2010 NOT 2001

This is not your parent's space oddessy. Sam Bell (Sam Rockwell) is an astronaut who has a three year contract with a private company to "mine" the moon as a newfound source of electricity. Look closely at the great shots of the moon with square mined areas taken out. Brilliant. He is joined only by Gerty (Kevin Spacey) the intentionally sounding Hal-like robot who attends to his ever need. Director Duncan Jones (David Bowie's son) puts a few references in the movie to 2001 as well as Danny Boyle's Sunshine (clue, it's in the music) and has fun with the use of the flow-bee and the clapper. After an accident while on duty attending to a machine Sam is knocked unconscious. When we see him next he is waking up in the infirmary with Gerty informing him that he had an accident. After a while of paranoia, we soon find out that Sam is still unconscious, left for dead in the range rover only to be rescued by Sam. Confused?