PAPER HEART, FLIMSY BODY

"Seth Rogen: Your love glass is half full."

Charlyne Yi can't speak. Watch the bonus features and see how many takes it took to get what you see on screen because she giggles and stutters and has no composure whatsoever. She is a geek, but that is part of her appeal so we let that suspension of reality go for the time being. She has decided, with director Nick Jasanovec (who hired an actor to portray him onscreen) to go on the road and travel to all sorts of places to meet all sorts of people to try to find out what love is.

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE IS

Carol: We were gonna make a whole world like this. Now, everyone used to come here, but you know... you know what it feels like when all your teeth are falling out really slowly and you don't realize and then you notice that, well, they're really far apart.

And then one day... you don't have any teeth anymore.

Max: Yeah.

Carol: Well it was like that.

Childhood can be a fatal condition. It's amazing that anyone ever grows up. Like many others I anticipated this film, dreaming of the magical kingdom that would emerge from Spike Jonze fertile imagination. Unlike many others, I was disappointed in the result. The story is an adaptation of the children's book by Maurice Sendak where a naughty boy gets sent to bed without his supper (by his mother Catherine Keener) and creates a magical world where he can be "wild".

THE INFORMANT

THE INFORMANT: BOY ARE MATT DAMON'S PANTS ON FIRE

Mark Whitacre: When polar bears hunt, they crouch down by a hole in the ice and wait for a seal to pop up. They keep one paw over their nose so that they blend in, because they've got those black noses. They'd blend in perfectly if not for the nose. So the question is, how do they know their noses are black? From looking at other polar bears? Do they see their reflections in the water and think, "I'd be invisible if not for that." That seems like a lot of thinking for a bear.

I loved this film!!! No car crashes, chase scenes, drug using or foul language and I still loved it!  Based on real life events and directed by Steven Soderbergh, Matt Damon is Mark Whitacre, the Vice President at an agricultural company, who decides to "blow the whistle" on his employers and their illegal price fixing practices. He joins with the FBI, Scott Bakula as Agent Brian Shepard and Joel McCale as agent Bob Herndon and begins an elaborate operation of recording conversations and meetings to strengthen the case. However, the FBI doesn't know that their star witness is Bipolar and his stories keep spinning a web so elaborate that even he can't keep track of what's real.

THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE

THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE: THE STORY OF AN ICON

Anna Wintour: I think what I often see it that people are frightened about fashion because it scares them or make them feel insecure they just put it down. On the whole people that may say, the mean things about our world I think that's usually because they feel, in some ways, excluded or, you know, not a part of 'the cool group' so as a result they just mock it.

Words of wisdom from a fashion icon. This film is a documentary about Vogue editor Anna Wintour and the equally iconic Fall issue of Vogue magazine that reaches upwards of 750 pages or so. It is mind bending to comprehend how our fashion choices are essentially dictated by by one powerful woman at the drop of a hat. I think the reason Wintour rubs people the wrong way is that she's a powerful woman. No powerful men have been called into question for being emotionless or cold.

THE BOX

THE BOX: HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE

Arlington Steward: I have an offer to make. If you push the button, two things will happen. First, someone, somewhere in the world, whom you don't know, will die. Second, you will receive a payment of one million dollars. You have 24 hours.

Somebody get me a cigarette fast because I have just been thoroughly mind f#&*ed! Maybe if had more Tang and sat through more Twilight Zone episodes in the '70's I could have made better sense of this film. I won't go into much detail except the year is 1976 and this nice Virginia suburban family is having money troubles. However, that's about to change.

2012

2012 PARTY OVER, ALMOST OUT OF TIME

"So tonight we're gonna party like it's 2012..." Yeah, the movie didn't work either. Damn solar flares! Just when you think you have the whole 'end of days' stuff down, the Mayan calendar comes along and within minutes, predicts the end of the world as we know it and I don't feel fine. So much buzz on this movie and SO much disappointment. Basically, the earth turns into a big pond and hurray, John Cusack and his family survive. Don't get me wrong, I love John Cusack and Amanda Peet, but come on. Yeah, that may be a spoiler, but too bad. If you can sit through that much of this film then you at least deserve to know the stupid and unreasonable and unrealistic ending. At 158 minutes, "2012" is Roland Emmerich's second-longest film and needs editing. Some of the special effects are kinda neat looking, but nothing groundbreaking or thrilling to watch. The characters are unbelievable and make likewise decisions during the course of the film. It just doesn't make sense. The realization of what is going on behind the special effects is sickening and for there to be some hint of a happy ending doesn't work. This was just a really poorly executed (bad pun) film with throwaway characters (except Woody Harrelson who was fun but wasted) (wasted as an actor not stoned) (although he might have been, who knows). I'm just glad I got the movie from Redbox and only had to pay a dollar. It wasn't worth it, but better than $9 at the theater.
Lack of a bite: Really bad movie

COUPLES RETREAT

COUPLES RETREAT NEEDS A RETREAT FROM THE RETREAT

Somebody in Entertainment Weekly, it may have been Stephen King, wrote that if the cover of the movie says "#1 Comedy in the Nation" it translates to mean, this movie is so not funny but we fooled everyone else into renting  it (because no one saw it in the theater), or something to that point. It certainly rings true with this dud. Despite have a feasibly competent cast this bromance for married men flops miserably. Vince Vaughn, his dad, Jon Favereau, Jason Bateman, Kristin Davis, Kristen Bell, and lots of others all disapppointed greatly. The only mildly interesting character was Carlos Ponce, Salvatore, the boundaryless yoga teacher who was also pleasing on the eyes. This movie was filmed in Bora Bora and is beautiful, but save the rental fee and get a travel brochure instead.

NO bite: Two pretty sights do not a good movie make. A waste of a cast and film.

ICE CASTLES

ICE CASTLES ARE EASILY BROKEN WHEN REMADE POORLY

If I sued remakes based on how terrible they were, I would be a rich woman. Going into the preliminaries I knew it would not be a good film. There was no star power, in fact, the lead, Lexi (Taylor Firth) is an ice skater NOT an actress... and it shows. The original Ice Castles wasn't Gone With The Wind, but it was simple and dopey and magical and romantic and had Robby Benson and Colleen Dewhurst and Tom Skerritt and you rooted for Lexi both before and after she got injured. There was chemistry between Nick and Lexi.

Nick Peterson: Here. There's a hand in front of you. Grab it.

Alexis Winston: What are you doing here?

Nick Peterson: [affectionately] Came to see you break your ass.

Alexis Winston: Can't see you very well. I don't know if you're kidding.

Nick Peterson: Just listen to my voice. I'm not kidding.

So much of a lack of a bite it's impossible to say: See the original. Cheesy, but so much better and romantically rewarding.

EXTRACT

EXTRACT MAKES FUN LITTLE FILM SWEET

Joel: What is it with women? Y'know, they say they don't care about looks - they just want a guy who's smart and funny - but they always just end up laughing at whatever the good-looking stupid guy says.

Mike Judge of Office Space and Beevis and Butthead fame has put together a film that has slipped under the radar. It is nowhere as good as Office Space, but it is entertaining and worth the watch. Jason Bateman is Joel Reynolds, a pretty ordinary guy who happens to run an extract bottling factory. He is literally surrounded by characters; his co-workers, nightmare of a  nieghbor, wanna be dude best friend and seemingly frigid wife played by Kristen Wiig, who seems to act in almost everything right now. The comedy lies in the subtly and Bateman has just the right control over both. Judge is all about characters and this movie is in no short supply.

PUBLIC ENEMIES

PUBLIC ENEMIES... 2 QUALITY HOURS OF JOHNNY DEPP

Melvin Purvis: What keeps you up nights, Mr. Dillinger?

John Dillinger: Coffee.

This is a story of a love affair between the law and public enemy number one, John Dillinger. Even though we know how the players in this story end up, it still is an interesting historical piece from Michael Mann's viewpoint. John Dillinger was a celebrity in his day. Women wanted him and men wanted to be like him, except for the men of the FBI.

WHIP IT

WHIP IT CRACKING GOOD FILM

"Whip It" was written by Shauna Cross, a former Roller Derby skater with the Los Angeles Derby Dolls. Cross skated under the name Maggie Mayhem with a team of rouge cops called the Sirens. Many of the teams, skaters, names and plot lines were inspired by Cross' time with the Derby Dolls. IMDB

Whip It is Drew Barrymore's directorial debut and she does a damn fine job. Bliss Cavendar (Ellen Page) is a Texas debutant who doesn't quite fit into the pagent circuit to the dismay of her mother. She pretty much plain old doesn't fit anywhere until she discovers roller derby.

WORLD'S GREATEST DAD

WORLD'S GREATEST DAD GREAT MOVIE

Claire: So, do you play sports?

Kyle: No, I'm a big spaz like my dad.
Lance Clayton: Well, I was in the dive team in college.

Kyle: Diving's not really a sport, it's falling.

Written and directed by Bobcat Goldthwait, this clever and original film has brain and beauty. Filmed in Seattle, Robin Williams is Lance Clayton, a single father and a teacher living a quiet existance with his dickhead of a son, Lyle.

GHOSTS OF GIRFRIEND'S PAST

GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIEND'S PAST NOT SCARY

Vonda Volkom: Spooning is nice.
Connor Mead: Yeah. But not as nice as forking.

Connor Mead is a typical asshole who thinks he's God's gift to women.

SHRINK

SHRINK IS DEFINITELY IN

"Henry Carter: It's all bullshit and then you die."

Henry Carter is a lost man. He is a therapist to a great many of the Hollywood used and broken but he himself is in pain, although you wouldn't know it by how much pot the guy smokes.

THE INVENTION OF LYING

THE INVENTION OF LYING FULL OF TRUTH

"When trying to secure Philip Seymour Hoffman for his cameo his agent claimed he was too busy so Ricky Gervais requested his email address and sent him the following: "Dear Philip, will you please appear in my new film? There is very little money involved as I spent the budget on testicular implants, but don't look upon them as my testicles, look at them as our testicles." Phillip Seymour Hoffman couldn't refuse after that."- IMDB

What a novel concept, a world where people don't lie. Here Ricky Gervais creates a world where people go around telling the truth and nothing but the truth.